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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at this new term of 'full time mum'

688 replies

blondie80 · 26/05/2009 12:26

i know i'm not being unreasonable.

a woman on that lottery 1-100 show on sat night referred to herself as a 'full time mum'

i take it she meant sahm instead.

i have no bones with anyone's choice as to what the do, sahm of wohm.

but... i was so annoyed i felt she was referring to wohm as - part timers??

does she forget that we do the same stuff as well as a full week at work!!

i was with my mother when we watched the show, and she has 4 dc who have left home, and says she is still a full time mum regardless.

ok rant over.

OP posts:
SheherazadetheGoat · 26/05/2009 12:49

i rather not be defined as any kind of mother. i have a child but am still functioning and do not require a mother related label thank you v. much.

violethill · 26/05/2009 12:49

YANBU but are being a little over senstive.

Of course mums are full time mums. I am a full time mum and I work outside the home as well. My DH is a full time dad and he works outside the home as well.

Simple!

ellingwoman · 26/05/2009 12:50

Blondie - if you were on the show and someone asked you what you did would you say 'full-time mum'?

Of course you wouldn't because it doesn't take up all of your time. I wouldn't either.

Niftyblue · 26/05/2009 12:54

So when asked what do you say?
as not to piss any mum off

Castiel · 26/05/2009 12:56

So when asked what do you say?
as not to piss any mum off
??

I'm going to try a few possibilities.

I'm a sex worker being on the list, though far down it.

'I'm on a career break'. That's nice and wanky isn't it?

lockets · 26/05/2009 12:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

paisleyleaf · 26/05/2009 12:58

whoops. I've used 'full time mum'

SheherazadetheGoat · 26/05/2009 12:58

i think we should go back to housewife and if you work you could be an outside the housewife. or maybe 'chattel'? i am a 'work outside hte house chattel' catchy

timmette · 26/05/2009 12:59

YABU and over sensitive I am a SAHM or a full time mum or a domestic engineer or however I feel like saying it any given time and it means nothing other than that. I also do some part time work from home now and then, at night when my son is in bed. Are you maybe being a bit insecure - I am confident in what I do and don't care what it's labelled.

sarah293 · 26/05/2009 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MmeLindt · 26/05/2009 13:00

"I am the managing director of a sucessful, family run business" is my favourite one.

Original poster
blondie80 · 26/05/2009 13:03

starting to think the sahm think wohm aren't housewife's either.

that's right the fairies come in at night and do the housework for wohm.

OP posts:
lockets · 26/05/2009 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

gerontius · 26/05/2009 13:07

Well, for eight hours a day you're not actually being a mum are you? You're at your other job.

MollieO · 26/05/2009 13:08

I agree with Elling. Very few people I work with know I have a child so at work I'm not a mother. Why should they? It has nothing to do with my job in any way and has no relevance.

LadyOfWaffle · 26/05/2009 13:09

This is a choice of occupation on birth certificates too now. I am down as "full time mother"

paisleyleaf · 26/05/2009 13:10

"starting to think the sahm think wohm aren't housewife's either.

that's right the fairies come in at night and do the housework for wohm".

It's not about the housework, tidying/laundry etc though.
That would make some women 'stay-at-home-cleaners'

MrsMattie · 26/05/2009 13:12

Water off a duck's back to me. I've been a SAHM and a P/T WOHM, a freelancer, self employed...oh, am about to go back to full time work. Hasn't made a scooby's difference to my 'mum-ness'.

Oh, and I was never a 'housewife', daaaahlings...

TsarChasm · 26/05/2009 13:13

Yabu.

She was talking about herself. The way she sees herself and what she does for heavens sake. People can call themselves what they like.

You are being too sensitive. Who cares what everyone else is up to? It amazes me on mn why people think everyone is so bothered about other peoples setup.

Springfleurs · 26/05/2009 13:14

I don't mind full time mum or SAHM.

Cannot tolerate being referred to as a "housewife" though.

ellingwoman · 26/05/2009 13:16
Noonki · 26/05/2009 13:17

oh god.
It's an expression, everyone knows what she means. If someone asks me what I do I say I work part-time and look after my kids the rest of the time.

If I worked full time I would say 'I work fulltime' If i SAHM I would say 'I am a full time mum' (I wouldn't say a stay at home mum as I am hardly ever at home we are always off out somewhere).

When I am working I am not parenting. I am working. Of course I think about my DCs whilst at work but I am not being a mum to them anymore than the person sitting next to me is.

fucksticks · 26/05/2009 13:22

full time mum means you are taking care of your children full time.
mums working full time are working mums. they may also be fantastic mums, full of love mums and doing an amazing job mums, but they arent full time mums as they are at work the majority of the childrens waking hours during the working week.
simple as.

FimbleHobbs · 26/05/2009 13:22

I am employed full time and I am a mother full time.

For the hours I am at work, I am still a parent, I'm still being a mum. Yes someone else is currently looking after my children but only because I have arranged it, they are still my children and my responsibility.

If someone wants to call themself a full time mum it doesn't matter to me, but I can see blondie's point.

Tamarto · 26/05/2009 13:22

YABU - She really wasn't thinking about whether or not WOHM would like the phrase.

I agree, WOHM should never use the phrase working mother, as that implies i do no work.