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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be so upset and angry because of complaint about my friend breastfeeding?

720 replies

memoo · 17/05/2009 14:59

My friend and work colleague had a DD 6 months ago. We both work in a primary school.

Several weeks ago my friend visited her old reception class in school. The class topic has been 'Growing' ang the reception teacher thought it would be nice for my friend to bring her DD in during the lesson where they would be talking about babies.

I've just had a phone call from my friend and I'm really angry at what she told me.

Apparently at the end of the lesson in school my friend needed to feed her DD and so sat quietly in the reading corner away from the children while she BF.

Friend had a call from the head on Friday telling her that a parent has complained about her BF'ing in front of the children

This parent said that her DS had said he had seen Mrs "boobies" and had been a bit giggley about it.

The head is being lovely and only spoke to my friend about purely to let her know what has happen and as far as I know this parent has been put in her place.

I am just so shocked that this parent could do this. I know the parent in question and the more I think about it I#m getting more and more angry!!!!

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 18/05/2009 21:30

sure, but i wonder if it's hard-wired at this stage? i look at those nude 'happenings' photographs and i think they look like a bunch of FREAKS.

WoTmania · 19/05/2009 08:07

I think our attitudes to bodies has an awful lot to do with it. the 2 friends I have who (still) cheerfully walk around naked, have baths without locking the door and have no body issues are the ones whose parents' do it too. They both sit and chat to their mums in the bathroom while their mums have baths and vice - versa.
I was explaining the other day to DH that in my idealistic (the boys are only 3 & 23 months and DD 13 weeks so this is far in the future) we must never mke an issue of covering up etc. so the DCs get used to the humen body in all it's imperfect glory. Particularly the DSs not expecting women to like they do in mags, and DD not thinking she ought to.

Babieseverywhere · 19/05/2009 10:25

For those people who have a problem with mothers breastfeeding 'in public', I suspect the problem is with knowing that the baby is breastfeeding not from seeing anything in particular. i.e. The situation the OP outlined did not indicate that the children had seen any skin, just a baby feeding.

Short of staying home for the first 6 months of a baby's life nothing will be good enough for these people.

Just ignore them until their attitude and behaviour improves, just like I do with my toddler.

slushy06 · 19/05/2009 10:46

Children won't be embarrased I was getting out of swimming pool when my ds demanded a feed. I quickly got in cubicle still in my costume and began to feed I was unable to shut the door as my pram was in the way. As I had a bathing suit on I was unable to feed discreetly. Between 30 and 40 school girls about 11 came in to the changing room for their weekly swimming lesson spotted me and preceded to try to all fit in my cubicle. They were not upset or confused they were curious they asked lots of questions and left thinking bf was a beautiful thing. They were at an age were their bodies are changing and they are becoming more aware but they were less bothered about my boobs than most adults I have met. At the time I was annoyed that the teacher seemed horrified at what I was showing them but now I can see she was afraid of angry parents . Those girls then left the room no longer believing that breasts were purely for a man satisfaction. What is wrong with that.

OlympedeGouges · 19/05/2009 11:05

if we were much more at ease with our bodies and nakedness was not so forbidden, breasts would not be so fetishized and page 3 might be a thing of the past. Certainly in Europe people are not that bothered about breasts, women sunbathe topless routinely, saw a lovely huge poster of breastfeeding baby in Czech Republic few years ago, complete with ten foot breast
We have serious problems in the UK, suspect USA the same.

CherryChoc · 19/05/2009 11:09

I think parts of the USA are worse, Olympe. Obviously not all of it - but I've heard that in some parts of the South it's virtually unheard of to breastfeed and if you do, some people say it will make your daughter gay or your son sex-obsessed. ()

slushy06 · 19/05/2009 11:11

Years ago boobs were not even seen as remomtely sexy. Boobs have only become a sexual object since formula was introduced. Before that a sexy dress would be high in front and low on the back as the back was seen as being a sexy thing. Any children who would have had a negative reaction to that teacher breast feeding would only do so because they have been taught to. Therefore it is even more important that children see bf as part of a normal life to undue that associated learning.

treedelivery · 19/05/2009 12:29

..years ago my boobs were seen as remotely sexy. Now a high front dress is an act of compassion for the general public.

slushy06 · 19/05/2009 13:22

Feels like a lifetime ago I had a nice pert size d. Now gotta saggy pair of g boobs with one nipple pointing the wrong way but then I can't complain since ds most of my body is losing the battle against gravity . Now not so attractive I don't think having children was meant to be easy for us gals.

kitkatqueen · 19/05/2009 13:32

I have been asked to breastfeed my ds in the cloakroom area so as not to offend other parents when i've been invited into the school.

I dislike it as it makes me feel as tho i'm being judged as doing something wrong and it means that my dd who I have come into the school to do work with is left at her desk without me while all the other childrens mums/ grans or whoever are with them. I could so easily do the work with her whilst feeding my ds, but am not allowed.

Makes me feel realy uncomfortable about going in in case ds needs to be fed.

treedelivery · 19/05/2009 13:39

That makes me angry and frustrated. But I was that all yesterday so I can't go there again

But it is wrong.

Maybe pointing out to school that they are engineering a situation that could breed resentment, negative bf issues and negative body image in your dd, and that all the dcs are their first concern, not the opinion of parents.

Phht to that school

[Not saying in the slightest your dd does feel that way, but that school should think these things though before they put a child's mummy in a cupboard]

OlympedeGouges · 19/05/2009 17:47

that is shocking kitkatqueen, absolutely shocking.

StayFrosty · 19/05/2009 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kitkatqueen · 19/05/2009 22:32

I think I will see what happens next time I go in... have just received an invite for the end of the month...

busterhymen · 20/05/2009 00:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

StealthPolarBear · 20/05/2009 09:17

OK what is bh saying on all these threads that is getting deleted?

AitchTwoOh · 20/05/2009 09:31

who cares? it's a troll. one look at the name...

CherryChoc · 20/05/2009 11:41

It was a weird picture (supposed to be a cat?) made up of text characters | \ ^ etc which was about 300 lines long and stretched the page so that you could barely grab the scroll bar with the mouse and it said "Long cat is long"

StealthPolarBear · 20/05/2009 13:02

weird!

tiktok · 21/05/2009 08:51

kitkatqueen, this sounds to me like an issue you could bring up with i) the head and ii) the parent governors.

It would be an easy matter for the governors to decide to become a breastfeeding-welcome school, and you would have struck a blow for all future mums with small babies who would like to come to help at the school.

[moondog - my post on Sun about sarcasm was not meant as a dig at you, BTW! Just at our literalist posters!]

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