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Original poster

To be so upset and angry because of complaint about my friend breastfeeding?

720 replies

memoo · 17/05/2009 14:59

My friend and work colleague had a DD 6 months ago. We both work in a primary school.

Several weeks ago my friend visited her old reception class in school. The class topic has been 'Growing' ang the reception teacher thought it would be nice for my friend to bring her DD in during the lesson where they would be talking about babies.

I've just had a phone call from my friend and I'm really angry at what she told me.

Apparently at the end of the lesson in school my friend needed to feed her DD and so sat quietly in the reading corner away from the children while she BF.

Friend had a call from the head on Friday telling her that a parent has complained about her BF'ing in front of the children

This parent said that her DS had said he had seen Mrs "boobies" and had been a bit giggley about it.

The head is being lovely and only spoke to my friend about purely to let her know what has happen and as far as I know this parent has been put in her place.

I am just so shocked that this parent could do this. I know the parent in question and the more I think about it I#m getting more and more angry!!!!

OP posts:
ilovemydogandMrObama · 17/05/2009 16:43

I have a spare 'breastfeeding welcome' sticker I could send your friend...

LovelyRitaMeterMaid · 17/05/2009 16:46

I think children of 4 or 5 ahould know about breastfeeding actually.

It is part of growing up how babies are fed and that was what they were learning about.

I am rather at your "FFS why didn't this teacher go in the staffroom". There is no reason why she should.

The parent in question should have treated what happened as a chance to explain to their child about how babies are fed rather than going off to school and complaining.

SoupDragon · 17/05/2009 16:46

"why didn't this teacher go in the staffroom?" Because that would have been hiding away and unnecessary.

I bet the child didn't see "Mrs X's boobies" at all. Not in the way the parent probably imagines. with a baby of 6 months old, I bet he didn't see so much as a glimpse of nipple.

OlympedeGouges · 17/05/2009 16:47

I just typed a long post and deleted it. I think

will do in its place.

TheCrackFox · 17/05/2009 16:49

Flocci, children seeing women breastfeeding is completely normal in the vast majority of the world. Why should she bugger off to the staff room with her "dirty little secret"?

Most 4 yr old regard BF as completely normal. If my 4 yr old had come home giggling about I would have taken that as an opportunity to explain that it is normal and all mammals feed their own babies. I wouldn't have made a twat of myself by phoning the HT.

violethill · 17/05/2009 16:56

'I wouldn't have made a twat of myself by phoning the HT. '

I think this sums it up. As a teacher myself, at management level, I know how carefully schools have to manage situations, and the Head Teacher involved handled it absolutely correctly by making it clear she thought the parent was out of order but warning the teacher in advance, particularly as the parent may go whinging to the Governors.

But do these idiotic parents ever stop to think about what the teachers (and management) say about them in the staff room?

Advice to dickhead parents: Yes, we do talk about you and how pathetic you are, yes, it does colour our judgement of you, and although of course a good teacher will always continue to carry out their duties professionally, you really aren't helping your children by having these interfering busybodying attitudes.

MrsTittleMouse · 17/05/2009 16:58

Didn't you read the OP? She wasn't ramming it in their faces! She was sat in the reading corner away from the children. That's hardly forcing a breastfeeding agenda on them. And I would bet big money that the child didn't see Mrs X's boobies, he saw a tiny bit of skin on her chest - the kind of thing that he would see in the summer on fully dressed women all the time.

Flocci · 17/05/2009 16:58

This what I mean about the difference between being discreet and hiding away - why is going to a staffroom such a shocking idea to you all? I didn't say BFing is a dirty little secret, and I didn't say it is not normal or the best thing for every baby .... but what is wrong with discretion, especially in a classroom of children who may not know what all this is about.

This is a CLASSROOM not a cafe or doctor's waiting area where someone happens to be where their baby needs feeding so of course they have no choice.

MrsTittleMouse · 17/05/2009 17:01

But she was discrete! She moved away from the children into the reading corner and fed her DD quietly. The same thing that a child would see completely normally in a doctor's surgery, a cafe, a shopping centre.

You make it sound as though it was part of the demonstration of growing - that she showed them the perfect latch in glorious technicolour!

StealthPolarBear · 17/05/2009 17:03

do 4 year olds never go into cafes or doctors? Or are you saying if there is an option to remove yourself from view you should take it but it's OK when there isn't?

Kimi · 17/05/2009 17:06

I Bottle fed both my children, but I can never work out what all the fuss is about a mother nursing a baby, that is why mammals have teats (or breast as us upper primates call them) it is what they are there for it is their God given purpose.

I have no problem with seeing a mother nursing, and both my sons have seen babies being nursed (admittedly the 12 year old look's away these days) without making stupid boobie comments.

Child knows no better but the mother should, ffs complaining to the school, there is no shame nor any wrong doing in sitting discreetly in a corner feeding a baby, most nursing mother's I know do not go waving their boobs about in a big show of oh look at me I have my tits out.
More shocking are the silly little teen girls who go in to town on a weekend with nothing left to the imagination, I wonder what prude parent tells here child if it sees that.

OlympedeGouges · 17/05/2009 17:06

if those children had ever seen breastfeeding before they wouldn't be bothered. More, not less, exposure to breastfeeding is what is needed. Unless you think there is something inherently dirty, or sexual, about breastfeeding. Would you need 'discretion' to eat a sandwich?
I don't really know why I'm trying to engage really, such a bonkers argument.

Flocci · 17/05/2009 17:08

There is no point continuing to post on here because I am obviously the only poster on this thread who can't agree that bfing whenever and wherever you want to is not always a good thing.

No matter how quiet and discreet this lady was, the point is why did she do it in a classroom where there were plenty of children around who may have been embarassed or confused about what she was doing? She didn't have to do it there, she chose to do it there, and I think choosing to BF in a "public" place when there is somewhere private available is unneccessary.

jellybeans · 17/05/2009 17:13

Crazy would those against bf also complain and try to stop photos on page 3 etc in case their kids see it, or is that OK since they see breasts as sexual (or wouldn't have a problem with it), I bet she doesn't complain about THAT!

Lol at she should have gone to a staff room. Another sees breasts as purely sexual perhaps? OK would you rather put mens interests before our babies?

Flocci · 17/05/2009 17:13

But this is a school and maybe those children hadn't seen it before?

You wouldn't need discretion to eat a sandwich, but I would also question a random person feeding their child a sandwich in my child's classroom actually.

Flocci · 17/05/2009 17:14

How strange - I never said that breasts are only sexual did I? And I am also not against bf-ing either.

jellybeans · 17/05/2009 17:14

Flocci your posts make me actually want to bf in public 'even though there is a private place' urgh! Do you find animals feeding their young offensive or just humans?

pooka · 17/05/2009 17:15

A 4 or 5 year old shouldn't be remotely embarrassed by a mother breastfeeding her child.

What is awkward or sensitive about explaining how humans are designed to feed their babies?

bigstripeytiger · 17/05/2009 17:16

Why would a child be embarrassed by breastfeeding? Some of the children in the class may even have younger siblings and have seen a baby being fed before.

jellybeans · 17/05/2009 17:16

An attitude comes through though. I personally think people should bf anywhere and everywhere, that's the answer. Hopefully one day the prudish will get used to it then.

jellybeans · 17/05/2009 17:17

Flocci would you mind your kids seeing a cow feeding a calf on a school trip?

FabulousBakerGirl · 17/05/2009 17:17

Breast feeding is best for baby when mum and baby are both happy doing it.

Anywhere is appropriate to feed a baby except for a toilet.

Flocci! Why on earth?

RockinSockBunnies · 17/05/2009 17:21

This is why I wish more and more people would breastfeed in public and particularly in front of children, so that breastfeeding is seen as normal, natural and complete unrelated to embarrassment or sexuality. If children see breastfeeding as the norm, surely they're more likely to breastfeed their children and so on and so forth.

DD when little would 'breastfeed' her dolls - that was completely the norm for her.

Kimi · 17/05/2009 17:22

Ah but what if it were a bacon sandwich in a Islamic school?

piscesmoon · 17/05/2009 17:30

' the point is why did she do it in a classroom where there were plenty of children around who may have been embarassed or confused about what she was doing? '

These were infants-they were not going to be embarrassed unless an adult had made it embarrassing. They wouldn't be confused-they would either know what she was doing or not notice. I find it utterly depressing that a parent can complain, but sadly I am not in the least surprised.