To be so upset and angry because of complaint about my friend breastfeeding?

[memoo]

My friend and work colleague had a DD 6 months ago. We both work in a primary school.

Several weeks ago my friend visited her old reception class in school. The class topic has been 'Growing' ang the reception teacher thought it would be nice for my friend to bring her DD in during the lesson where they would be talking about babies.

I've just had a phone call from my friend and I'm really angry at what she told me.

Apparently at the end of the lesson in school my friend needed to feed her DD and so sat quietly in the reading corner away from the children while she BF.

Friend had a call from the head on Friday telling her that a parent has complained about her BF'ing in front of the children

This parent said that her DS had said he had seen Mrs "boobies" and had been a bit giggley about it.

The head is being lovely and only spoke to my friend about purely to let her know what has happen and as far as I know this parent has been put in her place.

I am just so shocked that this parent could do this. I know the parent in question and the more I think about it I#m getting more and more angry!!!!

Look at it again Gunner.

"I think there are a lot of angry people on here who are not willing to even accept that people feel differently about it"

Exactly SparklyCheeryMummy. You have hit the nail right on teh head and they won't see past their own views - not now, not ever so it's not worth letting it upset you.

SCM, I think you are wrong but I still respect your way of presenting and discussing your opinions. If I had no respect for you I would not bother responding to your post.

See, I really think those that are objecting to the BF are being somewhat... disingeuous... I think someone mentioned that they'd object if the parent sat in the corner of the room and ate her sandwich, or bottlefed the baby.

With all due respect, that is complete bullshit.

AIBU to object that a visitor to my child's classroom got a bottle out and fed her baby?

I mean really? The only reason this is an issue is because breasts are involved, and they've been fetishized to the point of silliness by our society.

Now, I appreciate the sentiment of those who want to be 'sensitive' to people who may 'feel uncomfortable about BF'.

But in all honesty, being 'sensitive to people's discomfort' goes a long way to letting those people believe that their discomfort is something to be cosseted and tiptoed round, like it's a phobia.

Instead of it being a slightly odd neurosis that they need to deal with themselves, and not be prejudiced enough to project onto others.

It wouldn't be considered open-minded and senstive to say to a gay or black person "Would you mind staying in another room for a bit, my friend is homophobic/racist. I'm not, but you know, I'm just trying to be senstive to their discomfort about you..."

So it's utter bollocks to say it about BF mothers.

Noooooo this isn't angry. I've seen much much worse

It's not even heated imo. It is lively.

ROFL at pic - even if that was aimed at me I'd pmsl.

[applauds Kay]

Its not upsetting me.....I am touchy I know. Just think life is about having opinions but respecting other peoples views which i totally do. I would rather feed my child where I was than let it cry till i found somewhere that wasnt going to offend and I suppose i only commented on this thread really because it happened in a school and I know what busy body parents can be like. I know a parent who wouldnt let their child go to a brill medical museum because there were models of injured people and it might be scary. RIDICULOUS!!! Anyway i am distracted now by my farm on facebook..... its brilliant! Need to plough my potatoes before i get dd from school!!!!! Where I might add there is a huge uproar about a boy flashing his willy and some parents think he should have been dealt with more severely.

Hurrah KayHarker.

I'd like to be disingenous once or twice but I don't really have a grasp on it as a concept or know what the hell it means

I totally disagree that life is about respecting other people's opinions. Respecting other people's opinions if you think their opinion is morally wrong is simply moral cowardice.

I respect someone's right to hold and express an opinion, but that does not mean I respect the actual opinion.

you are right kay.... i feel a little uncomfy about the body but i deal with it myself. i even helped a friend attempt to use a breast pump..... hilarious. my problem noone elses and i certainly wouldnt leave the room or expect the bf mum to!!!!!!!!

"I think someone mentioned that they'd object if the parent sat in the corner of the room and ate her sandwich, or bottlefed the baby."

Hang on ther KayHarker read the posts properly before you respond. I said that if someone was to either (a) feel the need to bottle, breastfeed or change their baby or (b) eat their own food that would be the time to leave the classroom to do it elsewhere so as not to cause an unnecessary distration or disruption in the classroom during a lesson.

I actually also said that perhaps the woman should have breastfed the baby in front of the children as that would have been far more educative and enlightening for them in the context of what she was there to help them learn about.

Well said KayHarker

scm - I hear your point on the parents. Maybe if we had 8 kids or starvation level poverty we wouldn't have time to care about such things.

Or the ability to mn so I would not champion a return to basics.

I'm a soft touch myself, and somewhere in Africa there is a oman in labour walking to find help. Her kids are left behind starving or latched onto their nan's empty boob. I'd love to be a head and put that in a reply to a parent. So much more expansive that 'get a life' or 'we understand your issues'.

Happy ploughing.!

i may just add here that we are not allowed to eat or drink in lesson times. but obviously baby would NEED to!!!!!!!!!!!

Not being allowed to drink during lessons is another MN contentious issue. Why on earth do you stop the children from drinking in lessons?

Gunnerbean, and can you imagine the response from freaky-neurosis parent if she'd have BF as part of the lesson in front of all of them?

I'm sorry, I appreciate what you're trying to say, but I'm not buying that it has anything to do wit the objection of the parent, and I think the freaky-neurosis stuff needs to be challenged at every turn.

the children can but certainly cannot have anything to eat or drink other than water..... school water is yuk!

I think that either way, the feed does not need justifying, selling to parents as education, explaining in any way. Baby hungry - baby gets fed. Simple. As to where and when - baby dictates by general grumpiness and vocal cords, and mum requires some basic comfort etc.

By Gunnerbean on Mon 18-May-09 12:43:36

"Sorry, lazy, unimaginative teaching for me"

This lesson was a small part of the topic of 'growing'

Two weeks before we visited stockley farm where we fed lambs and saw baby cows. We also saw hens eggs in incubators.

We have also planet seeds in class, runner beans etc, so we can see how they grow.

Human growth is another area of the topic and so we spent a lesson looking at babies. As well as my friend visiting with her baby the children where also encouraged to bring in photos of themselves why they were babies.

You may think ii is lazy and unimaginative Gunner but the children absolutely love anything like this.

It is fact that young children learn better by hands on experiences rather than just looking at things in a book.

This kind of teaching is strongly encouraged in the new Early Years Foundation Stage curriculum, and it is one of the reasons that our school foundation stage received a grade of 'outstanding' from ofsted when we observed in January.

sorry for all my typos!!

Bloody hell....now Gunnerbean is criticising the fact that the mother didn't make a lesson out of feeding the baby, in order to be "educative and enlightening".

The mother visited the classroom as a favour to the teacher and children. The baby needed to feed at the end of the lesson. Instead of doing what she did ('sat quietly in the reading corner') Gunnerbean thinks she should have interrupted the teacher - who had now moved on to other things - in order to announce what she was going to do, to consciously educate and enlighten the children. This would have been better than just simply quietly getting on with it.

In earlier posts she equated bf a baby in the corner of a classroom with an adult making a big deal of heating up a meal with a pinging microwave.

Make up your mind, Gunner. You are illogical.

agree this thread has been remarkably polite, especially given the really right of centre views we've been treated to

erm the thing about the children not being interested in a baby coming in - i just want to say WTF?
i am about to take ds1 trampolining - he is 6 - and the children in his class all go to JELLY over ds2 who is 10 months old
i can't think of a primary school aged child NOT being fascinated by a baby - are you in a parellel universe?

earlier quote from Gunnerbean:
'The fact remains that a positive message about breasfeeding could easily have been conveyed to the children without them needing to see anyone actually doing it.'
Confused? You should be.

there are so many pro-b/f posters on here you can see the steam coming off their posts......not all women want to b/f, liked b/f, or want to see it...that doesn't mean they have serious hang ups.

women are allowed choice.

Yes they are, which is why people who want to breastfeed in public should be able to do so. Those who object have the option of walking away or focusing their eyes elsewhere.