To be so upset and angry because of complaint about my friend breastfeeding?

[memoo]

My friend and work colleague had a DD 6 months ago. We both work in a primary school.

Several weeks ago my friend visited her old reception class in school. The class topic has been 'Growing' ang the reception teacher thought it would be nice for my friend to bring her DD in during the lesson where they would be talking about babies.

I've just had a phone call from my friend and I'm really angry at what she told me.

Apparently at the end of the lesson in school my friend needed to feed her DD and so sat quietly in the reading corner away from the children while she BF.

Friend had a call from the head on Friday telling her that a parent has complained about her BF'ing in front of the children

This parent said that her DS had said he had seen Mrs "boobies" and had been a bit giggley about it.

The head is being lovely and only spoke to my friend about purely to let her know what has happen and as far as I know this parent has been put in her place.

I am just so shocked that this parent could do this. I know the parent in question and the more I think about it I#m getting more and more angry!!!!

Yes, raisinggrrrl you're quite right and it's because I was made to feel cross by a few comments that made me lose sight of the fact that those sorts of comments are in the minority. Good luck with your picnics - they sound excellent.

Milly you are too kind - I never saw myself as taking a stand particularly, just doing what I wanted. Maybe it's the same thing.

'If parents have a problem with their DC seeing B/F then it is THEIR problem anbd school shouldn't pander to it.'

Hear, hear! I am really pleased that in this case the school didn't pander to the parent with the problem.
The day that I can't hug a DC in school is the day I leave teaching. If a 5yr old falls ove in the playground I pick them up, sit them on my knee and give them a hug-the way any parent would.

Yes, I thought the comments about not being able to hug a child was pretty odd. My ds isn't in school yet, but goes to a private nursery and I would be pretty pissed off if his carers refused to hug him! The parents are asked to provide appropriate sun cream for their dc - which is good because my ds has quite bad eczema on his back and the cheaper ones tend to make him flare up - but the nursery staff apply it.

I think a lot of the "political correctness gone mad" stuff is in people's head. Yes, they do sing "Baa baa pink sheep" at nursery, but they also sing "Baa baa black sheep" - the pink verse is just a little variation on a theme!

"I can't think of a better or more stimulating way to teach it than to get a real live baby in. The DCs would love it."

Sorry, but I don't agree. Far more interesting things to children than babies grow. A lot of reception children will have a baby sibling at home, or a younger relatives in their wider family so babies growing is all very normal and run of the mill/everyday to them. I am well aware that "growing" is part of the curriculum - I just said that I believe there are better and far more imaginative ways to deliver lessons on the topic than showing them a baby and chatting about it.

Clearly as you allued to yourself, the woman was probably just calling in that day to show the baby off to her colleages anyway and it made the teacher's life easy. Sorry, lazy, unimaginative teaching for me.

Gunnerbean, I doubt that the baby was the whole of the lesson - far more likely that it was a small part of a much wider topic.

And yes, some children will have younger siblings at home. Some children will have siblings not much younger than themselves - for example, there is 2 years between my dc and I don't imagine that ds will remember too much about dd's baby years. And some children will be the youngest, or will be only children. IME all children like seeing babies - certainly when I'm out and about with dd (and when I'm feeding her!) I get a lot of comments and questions from older children, and ds' little friends at nursery are quite fascinated with her!

I don't think it's up to you to say what constitutes good/lazy teaching - especially since from what I can gather from your previous posts you are neither a teacher nor a parent of a school aged child yourself, so your perspective on it is somewhat skewed.

i know for a fact that teachers legally (or at least in our authority) are NOT allowed to apply suncream.... there is a particular way you can and cannot touch a child..... you can touch their shoulders if they stand to the side of you. You cannot look for nits on a child you suspect has them and you cannot tell a particular childs parent that you think their child has them. You cannot tell a parent who has given their child a kicking and so on and so on. I have no issues with breastfeeding..... it is a wonderful thing. But you are right whoever said it.... if someone doesnt like it they should leave the room...... the children werent given a choice and neither were parents allowed to make a choice on the childrens behalf. I personally would not have an issue though some parents may say that as long as the child was not exposed to the whole breast or the nipple etc. I know it all sounds over the top but it is how it is. I think people who are seriously pro breastfeeding are possible getting a bit defensive where they don't need to. I personally would not have done it in a classroom.... but thats my choice. People who are not comfy with it should be heard and given the chance to withdraw. SCHOOLS HAVE A POLICY ON EVERYTHING....PERHAPS THEY NEED ONE ON 'WHETHER WOMEN SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO BREASTFEED IN CLASS'.

SCM - do you live in Liverpool by any chance? I have heard that chidcare providers are no longer allowed to touch children at all, so a child who wandered out of their nursery and near the main road was not taken back into nursery and was followed down the road by one of his carers. Madness!!

No not liverpool but if a child runs out then you have a duty of care and would get them back. that seems really stupid to leave a child. My school is for children with SENs and with some of ours we have to back off a little until they are calm. A staff member was recently suspended for giving an older child a hug.... 'invading their personal space'. However the school want to use my growing bump as a teaching tool and take pictures of me etc.... so maybe when its born i will take my baby in and have this dilema for myself. i doubt i would sit in a classroom though.... some of our students get aggressive at the sight of bare flesh!

'Sorry, but I don't agree. Far more interesting things to children than babies grow. A lot of reception children will have a baby sibling at home, or a younger relatives in their wider family so babies growing is all very normal and run of the mill/everyday to them. I am well aware that "growing" is part of the curriculum - I just said that I believe there are better and far more imaginative ways to deliver lessons on the topic than showing them a baby and chatting about it. '

How many reception classes have you actually taught Gunnerbean?
I do lots and I can't think of a single class that wouldn't love to have a baby in for the lesson.

must admit my dd would love it... she doesnt know i am expecting yet.

dd's nursery teacher came in the other day with her new baby... youcouldn't get near her for little heads crammed in trying to get a stroke of the baby's hand. i think you're pretty far off the mark on that one, gunnerbean.

and yes, it looks like schools will have to develop a policy on bfing in the classroom. although i think in scotland we cna do it up the top of the wallace monument if we so desire.

The love it if I take my old teddy in-and teddies are run of the 'mill/old hat'-they all get excited about a real life baby and many of them don't have younger siblings-many are the youngest or only.
When I had my first baby I had no experience at all of babies.
They like it higher up the school too-year 6 boys love having a baby in! I expect the whole school wanted to see OP's friend's baby and so it needed feeding before it went home.

i dont think anyone is doubting that the baby needed feeding OR saying that there is anything wrong with breastfeeding...... think some posters are getting a bit carried away. its just about the fact that it happened in a classroom and that parents and children were not given a choice. some people feel uncomfortable with it and perhaps if it had been dealt with a little more sensitively it would have been a great opportunity to open the minds of the future generation and allow them the chance to accept it and feel comfortable with it.

you what? a little more sensitively? she went to a corner and fed, no fuss. what do you think she shoudl have done?

I fail to see how she could have been more sensitive!!

i mean discussing it openly with the children instead of hiding..... if the parents were simply aware that a baby was visiting school and part of the lesson was to discuss how the baby was fed then it would not have been an issue. I think there are a lot of angry people on here who are not willing to even accept that people feel differently about it. read my posts i am NOT anti bf just aware of school legislation. I was once put in an awful position where a child had pooed themself in a recepetion class (mainstream not SEN).... i was NOT allowed to clean them up and had to get the child to do it and call the parents in. ITS A LOAD OF TOSH BUT ITS HOW IT IS. My friends breastfeed and you never see an inch of skin so there is a way to do it where you want but discreetly?! Obviously there is the inititial faffing with clothes and bra straps etc

TBH there isn't need for a choice. In the example I gave Uncle did have a choice to leave the room. But if he didn't I still would have fed the baby.
I don't care if people feel uncomfortable about me breastfeeding and neither should anyone else.
I'm sure there are some parents who are uncomfortable around black people, you wouldn't consult them over having a black child join the class would you?

She didn't strip naked and bellow 'AM FEEDING MA BAYBAY!' How could she have been more sensitive?

And what's discreetly got to do with it?
She wasn't hiding it, just getting on with it away from the rest of the class.

i don't think this woman could have won, tbh. all she wanted to do was feed her kid, the fact that some people have taught their children that boobs are inherently dirty and not to be seen is not her fault.

Well. Ive read the entire thread. For heavens sake she fed her child, big deal.
Why are people so bothered by it?
As for a post right at the beginning, someone said they think its natural to see a baby breastfeeding but actually feel disgusted to see a baby bottlefeed, I find that very bizarre the baby is having its meal nothing weird about it whether it comes from a breast or a bottle.

i really do think that people who are uncomfortable with bfing should just fuck right off, tbh.

oh dear this is getting rather angry..... of course the babies mum was being sensitive.... i mean the way the school dealt with it. Its clear that some people do not CARE about how others feel about it..... but perhaps like me those people who do feel uncomfortable were brought up like me where you didnt ever show your body, where your mother convinced you you were fat and where you have a father who had an issue with pornography where the naked body was only sexual. I have dealt with it but it has taken therapy and time and we should ALL BE SENSITIVE TO EACH OTHER. I will bf my next child and I will feel confident and I will do it wherever i need to. HOwever I will also accept that people might not like it and might leave the room.

Agree with you Aitch. There are some kinds of discomforts that shouldn't be pandered to because they are just silly.

bloody hell aitch...calm down.