To secretly want to say 'I'll remember this when it's your lo's birthday...' to DH's colleague's wife?

[flamingobingo]

Ok, so I'm not actually going to do that, and I'm actually a very nice person and DH and I will continue going out of our way for his colleague and his wife as they embark on their exciting journey having their first baby in August.

But..........colleague wants a few days off to decorate their nursery with his wife at the end of the month. One of those days is DD1's 6th birthday, for which DH wanted a day off so we could take her bowling with some friends (which she's wanted to do for ages). They can't both have the same day off. Colleague said kindly that DH could have the day off, of course. He's just texted to say wife not happy with change of plan and will be having the day off himself .

They've only got loads and loads of weeks to get the flipping decorating done, and DH has offered them to have any other time off at all - he'll cover - but no, of course, decorating a baby's nursery (PFB though...) must be done on the exact day that an existing child is having a birthday. Gah!

So AIBU to slightly want to say to her 'I'll remember this...'? (just to re-iterate, I would never, ever say this, and will no doubt forget it tomorrow when I've got over the mother lioness rage! )

Why does your dh's colleague get to decide that he's having the holiday rather than your dh?!

Because, although it was never agreed and noted down, officially he asked first as his piece of paper has an earlier date on, by something stupid like one day!

It would be tempting especially when she's going on like her childs 1st birthday should really be a national holiday.

Some people have a real nerve.

I think you should appeal to their better nature and say your child is soooooo disappointed that Daddy can't spend her birthday with her and is there no way they will reconsider. Baby won't know the room was finished a day later....

DH has texted something similar back, bakergirl. We're waiting for a response. I'll get over it, and we can sort something else out, I'm sure. But I've never felt such a strong urge to be just plain bitchy before and wondered if I was the only one and if I was being particularly PFBish myself!

Oh that is so mean - I'd be kicking up a fuss if I was you.

Ooh...if enough people say they think IANBU, I'll get DH to recommend MN to his colleague - maybe she'll see this thread and think twice!

If you can't swing it will your DD know the actual date? Could you do the birthday stff a day early? Or do that anyway?

Two birthdays?

As soon as their baby is born get your DH to book that day next year as holiday!

oh yes, kits

first come, first served and all that...

i agree with kitsmummy. what a witch the colleagues wife is. pah.

ROFL kitsmummy

Bakergirl - unfortunately she has a very good grasp of dates etc. (DD that is) and will most certainly know. However, we will find a way to present the change of plans to her in an exciting way, I'm sure. Still pissed off though!

It's the first time I've referred to someone as a bitch for years!

She sounds like a bit of a mare to me, fancy being prepared to spoil a child's birthday like that.

You are not being unreasonable - she is a crazy lady.

I would get DH to really lay the guilt on at work and ask how the other couple would feel when its their child's birthday.

But i'm mean!

Doesn't your DD's birthday fall on the same day every year then? Why didn't your DH book it earlier if it was so important?

Please text them "You'll discover when you have your baby that it's actually quite important to spend their birthdays with them" as that might make them think a bit.

oh gawd. if this is what she's like about the "nursery" lord alone knows what you'll be in for once the baby is out.

is it possible that's the day she's going to get her piles popped and her DH forgot?

tell me about it, Kitty! DH says that when she rings his colleague at work, he can hear her yelling at him down the phone .

And once he listened to an answerphone message when he got into work one morning and it was colleague's wife ringing ten minutes after they shut up the night before. Colleague obviously picked up after the answerphone kicked in and it recorded the whole message of her saying 'Why aren't you home yet! There'd better be a good reason!'

[under the thumb emoticon]

hmmm, that's not great is it... She should realise that your 6 yr old is your baby!!

I was going to post just what Kitsmummy did!

YANBU - they are being very mean.

yanbu - what a nasty pasty. Id encourage dh to feign a back injury and have 2 weeks on the sick right over that period and stuff em

some people are unbelievably selfish and thoughtless. this really takes the cake though. i agree - i think you should appeal to their better nature. fight for your dd - she deserves to have her daddy there!

Stealth. Thank you - I will try and bear that in mind when she outright refuses to budge and maybe I'll see her in a slightly better light...

I was being semi-serious - if she's pg is there a chance she's got some sort of appointment that day (tests etc) and they'd rather not talk about it?
Otherwise it's just mean!