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Original poster

very unhelpful things your other half can say whilst in labour

342 replies

benbon · 10/05/2009 10:39

just wondering if anyone else's other halves have come out with very unhelpfull advice whilst you were in labour. aibu to think this was not very helpful?

after being in labour for about 6 hours at this point my husband told me "WELL YOU ARE DRAGGING IT OUT ABIT!"

so what helpful things did your partners say to you,.

OP posts:
allthetwinklystars · 11/05/2009 14:48

Not DH but MW, 2 1/2 hours after my first contraction: Oh yes, a couple of pushes and the baby will be here. I'd deliver you now, but I'm going off shift now.

I ended up having 3 midwives for my 3 1/2 hour induction - 2 for my 10 minute second stage, due to the bloody shift change.

Oh well, shouldn't complain though, it was nice to have it all over so quickly. My first birth was alsojust after the shift change. In DD's case the MW wasn't even in the room - I caught her myself!

kidowner · 11/05/2009 14:49

Had 2 mws for a home birth who were so engaged in conversation it was if I wasn't even there. They kept looking at their watches too, very off putting and guilt inducing! (I am so sorry this is taking so long)

Then they started talking about my choice of decor:
mw1: Don't think much about that style of conservatory do you?
mw2: No not really, they get so cold in the winter
me: OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
mw1: Don't mind her curtains mind
mw2: Not bad are they
me: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
mw1:what's on tv tonight?
mw: dunno

allthetwinklystars · 11/05/2009 14:50

2 MW in a row, not at the same time. No idea what their names were or even what they looked like!

GruffaloMama · 11/05/2009 14:52

DH on my having an epidural after a 3.5 day induction and 10 hours of back-to-back labour... "if you'd had that earlier we could have watched Strictly Come Dancing"

And later the registrar (after 3.5 hours of trying to push a 98th centile head out) - "all that screaming isn't helping anyone, you know". The junior doctor wished the registrar "good luck" with the forceps.

And the anaesthetist "why is this woman in pain - someone should have called me - the epidural isn't working". I did call. I reckon they could have heard me in the next postcode. And I knew the epidural wasn't working...

tessofthedurbervilles · 11/05/2009 15:19

Crouching in front, head on his lap, 'while your down there love ha ha'

tessofthedurbervilles · 11/05/2009 15:19

Crouching in front, head on his lap, 'while your down there love ha ha'

GreenMonkies · 11/05/2009 15:24

tess that's beyond tactless or brave, it's just plain stupid!!! Imagine how hard you'd bite down during a contraction!!

bunnyrabbit · 11/05/2009 15:25

DH has been a star through both births.

DS1 very long labour.

About 1pm sat (been in labour 40 hours - been in Hosp 3 hours), whilst in the middle of a big contraction, kneeling on floor, holding DHs hand, leaning over bed, moaning quietly, DH stands up looks me in the face and says " I suppose sex is out the questions?" and legs it out the door. Bastard. He timed it perfectly., could barely breath for the contraction let alone laughing and there's no way I could catch him. Stood at the door PHSL. I had tears rolling down my face.

A couple of hours later made it very clear that I didn't want help (my reaction to extreme pain is to close up) so rocking and swaying kneeling on the bed, look up and DH and MW watching Beckam score a goal for England on the telly. DH " well you said you wanted us to leave you alone".

And yes I remind him of each of these incidents at regular intervals.

BR

bobblehat · 11/05/2009 15:46

with number 2 my contractions went from being very mild and spaced out to all at once, baby's about to arrive. We were at home and I told him we needed to get to the birth centre as soon as possible, but he told me he needed to brush his teeth first as he'd just woken up (it was 3am). Needless to say we didn't get to the birth centre, and dh delivered ds2 5 mins later...

sophieandbelly · 11/05/2009 15:49

id been having contractions for 16 hrs. we ordered takewawy as it was taking forever, (after 25 hrs was 1 cm aaaaarrrrghhhh could have punched the mw at that piont!!) oh said i fancy a curry, i said couldnt stomach it, if u order a pizza mite manage 1 slice, he moaned but i dont want one, oh great. anyway oreded the pizza and as it turned out the smell of it made me feel sick.
so oh said how selfish i didnt even want to order this and now ur nt eating it!! ( he was doing it in a jokey manner! but y dont these men realise iam hardly in a laughing mood!)
many many hrs later..... sitting in the chair while iam having the epidual inserted, alright love fancy a bite of my pasty! me- F*CK off haha

catski · 11/05/2009 16:44

"I don't think you've reached your pain threshhold maximum yet"

Said after 2.5 days of labour, pethedine and epidural which didn't help and whilst trying to make myself pass out with the gas and air.

GetOrfMoiLand · 11/05/2009 16:52

lolol at "NUNEATON" and LoisWilkerson's (love the name, btw) DP expecting her to do jazz hands at the mention of her having a show.

They're really bloody idiots, sometimes, arent't they!

XDP nicked my tea and toast, the swine. I needed that tea and toast. And during transition he tried to make me laugh by putting a sick bowl on his head and gurning - I yelled at him and tried to grab him, midiwfe sternly marched him to the other side of the road and said "LEAVE her"

GetOrfMoiLand · 11/05/2009 16:53

Other side of the road, lol, as if Iwas in labour on the pavement. I mean other side of the room, obv.

chickenfortea · 11/05/2009 17:00

Oh God these have cheered me up no end. Especially love the negative one lol.

With DS1 my DH (who atthe time sold medical equipment) tried his sales pitch as the epidural was being put in. Me - "excuse me but would quite like the lady to concentrate"
With DS2 he told me the pain was all in my head, smacked me on the bottom to "show what real pain was" and then told me that I was upsetting the dog when I was contracting.
We then went to the hospital and he left the room as DS2 was crowning to answer his mum's phonecall (yes she'd rung the labour line as she got no response to his mobile)
With DD1 Mum and I relegated him to tea making duty. He performed that well

greenbeanie · 11/05/2009 18:32

This comment was from the midwife not dh when I was 8 cm dilated with contractions coming thick and fast. "Are you going anywhere nice on holiday this year?"

It was 3 in the morning and I had been in labour for 15 hours. I think I mustered a "We haven't thought of anywhere yet"!!!!

What on earth do you say to that I thought I was on the delivery ward not at the hairdressers.

Mamulik · 11/05/2009 19:40

I was by myself, thanks God, because he would said - Are you done yet??

OracleInaCoracle · 11/05/2009 19:45

i had been in labour for two days and writhing on the bed in agony and squeezing dh's hand. he asked the midwife to take a look at his little finger, apparently it "really hurt"

the mw replied when i asked if she had any kids (as she was linking me to the drip) "god no, I'd never go through that!"

AramintaCane · 11/05/2009 19:46

My DH kept saying "come on the force is with you" combined with the gas and air it was all a bit sureal.

Louie1 · 11/05/2009 20:11

When I was just about to produce, baby's head was crowning etc, in walked the gas man - somebody had reported a leak in the hospital and he'd been told to check every room. I must say that by that time (baby was 9lb1), I was past caring!!!!

pinkstarfish · 11/05/2009 20:23

DH - "Would you like a donut?"

Me, 6cm dialated, still waiting for some gas and air - "oooh, let me see, how does the word NO grab you?!"

usernamechanged345 · 11/05/2009 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pollyanna · 11/05/2009 20:48

while I was walking around the hospital having pretty bad contractions, dh said

"I've got a really sore throat - you've no idea how much it hurts"

then we went back to the ward and dh asked the midwife if he could have a bed to lie down on (midwife was speechless]

I sent him home, and gave birth to dd2 about an hour and a half later (he just made it back)

smartiejake · 11/05/2009 20:54

-"Do you really need to hum? It's really embarrassing."

-As my epidural was being put in "I think I'm going to pass out" This was followed by a gaggle of nurses fussing over him and giving him cups of tea and toast (which I wasn't allowed to have)

  • "Take some pethedine will you? It's not a
competition to see if you can do without them!"
weston · 11/05/2009 20:58

we had been for a curry to move things along..which obv had the desire effect as i went into labour soon after...throughout my dh complained of indigestion...and then when he went to get the baby clothes he put his back out!!

clam · 11/05/2009 21:02

Me: on hands and knees in back of car in dressing gown in labour with DS.
DH: got a pound coin for the car park?

Later...
Midwife: I don't know where your DH has got to.
Me: I do. Is there a TV anywhere nearby?

Sure enough, DH was in there watching the Test Match WITH THE DOCTOR who was supposed to be monitoring me!

2 years on and DD arrives. Billing and cooing all round for a suitable length of time (to be fair). But then.....
DH: Right, I'm going to get off home. I'm knackered.
Me: (gritting teeth). I'll call you in a bit to collect us once the consultant discharges us.
DH: Don't make it too early. I'll be asleep. Oh, but try and make it before 11, coz the cricket starts then.