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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...To expect monetary contribution from my DP??

498 replies

GrumpyMoo · 29/04/2009 16:24

... In any form. I'm not asking for all his money to go off and spend as I like. But SOMETHING towards his keep would help. And how do I ask him NOW after we have lived together on and off (more off than on TBH) for nearly a year?? HELP someone. Need kick up the backside or somehting please??

OP posts:
Original poster
GrumpyMoo · 03/05/2009 20:46

oldlady I do belive you have been defending me to my exDP. How he knew I was on here heaven only knows!

OP posts:
Original poster
GrumpyMoo · 03/05/2009 20:48

Thank you Doris, A huge thank you. I thought I was going mad there for a minute! Jumping at shadows etc. I'm sat here barely able t o type I'm shaking that much! And we all know my typing isn;t that good to start with!

OP posts:
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 03/05/2009 20:49

x-posted great moinds think alike grumpy!!!

I think it was the "personally he might just have been making a stand about this"!!!! that set off my radar.

Still could be wrong but a quick search may be in order

dittany · 03/05/2009 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 03/05/2009 20:51

FWIW Fumble has never posted before this thread, make of that what you will

For me I read bitter EX p

Original poster
GrumpyMoo · 03/05/2009 20:52

dittany I believ that fumble IS my exDP. His wife couldn;t type sentences like that and not so fast either.

OP posts:
dittany · 03/05/2009 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fumble · 03/05/2009 20:53

Grumpy I only posted on here first time tonight as a result of reading your post No I am not her ex as I think my hubby might object to that LOL!

Grumpy Its interesting that when the matter oy YOURS and HIS finances come up you dont actually state You were claiming as a couple!

You have been playing the system haven't you? And reading through posts he is obviously doing something about the situation e'g' courses to get to work??? would you still be happy in screwing the system then??

Sounds to me it is YOU not HIM that didnt want a realtionship! Sorry to be blunt but life would be very dull if we all had a lynchmob mentality without knowing ALL the facts here

Original poster
GrumpyMoo · 03/05/2009 20:54

Guys. I don;t see fumble coming abck with anything to say they are innocent? I'm all for giving someone a chance. this is how I got into this situation. Too many things about these posts of theirs (fumbles) are just TOO like my ex.

What I'd like to know is HOW he knew I was on here? Freaking out slightly here!

OP posts:
fumble · 03/05/2009 20:59

Grumpy make what you will and I am sorry for freaking you but I can assure you I am your ex!

But reading through your posts HOW can you write all these posts without sating what is actually going on?

So were you claiming as a couple or not???

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 03/05/2009 20:59

Don't get freaky, GrumpyMoo, it's not necessarily the case that fumble is your ex, or even his ex. It's possible s/he's an unrelated person being conned by the same kind of fuckwit as your ex (doesn't that word sound good? Try it again - ex! EX!) and needs to believe this kind of bullshit to retain her/his own crumbling sanity.

fumble · 03/05/2009 21:00

Sorry that has probably freaked you lol I am NOT YOUR EX bloody hell

fumble · 03/05/2009 21:01

Jesus christ you are all mad on here aren't you ???

You all give advice to someone whom you DONT know the story (only there say so) and then all club together without looking at what is going on here and that is She has been screwing the system!

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 03/05/2009 21:02

"I can assure you I am your ex!"

fumble, was that a Freudian slip?

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 03/05/2009 21:02

Fumble- If nothing is put in the pot but food is expected on the table and a roof over his head, he is a cocklodger.

I think you are way off track focusing on the claiming benifits issue. Trying to muddy the water maybe (I'm still not convinced!!)

joint does not mean I get all that you have but keep mine, (nb that is not what grumpy was asking for in the first place) but each makes a contribution to the household, which did not happen.

Why should Grumpy Moo (and her children) be further disadvantaged by joining finances which would most likely be spent either on his daughter or at the football, he has taken out further credit without informing her, WHY on earth would she trust him with everything she has???????

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 03/05/2009 21:03

x post, not sure I believe you though, fumble.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 03/05/2009 21:05

Fumble this is an internet forum we can only ever see one side of the story most of us take that into consideration when replying- If you have any urther light to shed please go ahead

dittany · 03/05/2009 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

caramelwaffle · 03/05/2009 21:05

Fumble

Nickname says it all really

fumble · 03/05/2009 21:10

But why did he take the credit??? what was it for grumpy?? I will focus on the benefits issue because it IS a point Grumpy were you claiming as a couple then??? or were you getting I.S. MAINTENCE AND TAX CREDITS FOR YOUR KIDS??? The ISSue to me is this if that was going on and he was getting his money then they are doing something illegal! What I would like to know is this was he making a stand about this or was he with you in thinking you can do what you want???

My husband works long hours and I have a part time job so reading this kind of thing is not nice and yet every one seems to be congratulating you on this (forget the guy here for a minute) From what you have said you have issues around your EX so you control YOUR money Interesting so Grumpy if you wern't claiming as a couple why shouldn't he have HIS money?? After all how much do couples get??? a lot less than was going in there!

fumble · 03/05/2009 21:12

Yes Dittany it is a forum for discussion not a pal slapping thing!

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 03/05/2009 21:13

Fumble, why shouldn't he contribute towards the bills, food etc? Leaving aside any issues of benefits.

caramelwaffle · 03/05/2009 21:14

Oh and one pertenant point, fumble.

As the EX-partners daughter was living with grumpy 4 days a week, she (grumpy) would have been fully entitled to put in a claim for the child's Child Benefit and any due tax credits to be paid to her.
She did'nt. She looked after her for free, according to all given facts. Not milking the system in that instance.

fruitbeard · 03/05/2009 21:17

Fumble, are you a bit mental?

I mean that in a caring way, as you have obviously missed this post on page 1 from Grumpy:

"I was on single parent IS at the time and gave that up when he moved in, we never ended up with any money as a joint claim (he is on INCAP) even 4 months later (I was till paying for everything, food, rent etc despite not having any money and having his daughter over 3 nights a week so her mum could work her night shifts) we still hadn?t had any money in"

So how exactly has Grumpy been taking HIS money? When it reads to me like she has actually made herself worse off having him living there and STILL had to pay for his living there?

Mental. Or the ex...

Grumpy, haven't posted on here before but have been silently cheering you on... well done and don't let this ignorant moo (now there's a nickname) get to you.

dittany · 03/05/2009 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.