...To expect monetary contribution from my DP??

[GrumpyMoo]

... In any form. I'm not asking for all his money to go off and spend as I like. But SOMETHING towards his keep would help. And how do I ask him NOW after we have lived together on and off (more off than on TBH) for nearly a year?? HELP someone. Need kick up the backside or somehting please??

Hear hear!

Fumble popped up on a troll thread that spontaneously combusted last night btw. I reported it, as did others and kapoof, 5 mins later it was gone.

Not sure Fumble was the OP, someone calling themselves Daddycooler - it was there first post.

He/She/It is not literate. Cannot make any sensible point.

Not like your witty, eloquent self Grumpymoo

THEIR first post

I've just got to say that this is the BEST thread I have ever read.

I am so proud of you Grumpy Moo.

I can't believe your ex (or someone known to your ex) would read all of this, all the replies of support and those clearly pointing out what a complete cock he is and then try to turn it round.

If my ex wrote something like that about me and it got so many replies i'd have a good long hard look at myself no matter how in the right I thought I was.

Grumpymoo, I felt bad when people started saying that soulmates don't exist. THEY DO. I promise you. Obviously though they treat you as their no.1 priority.

Don't give up on love, just on that twat.

Ace cool xxxxxxxxxxx 100,00000 congratulations babe x

Well. here I am a week into singledom. I am free. I am happy (ish.) I am 13 stone lighter (.) I am also 100% legal (thank you fumble whether you beleive me or not) and above board. But was told that I wasn't doing anything wrong anyway! So all grouds for stringing me up unfounded!

So much for fumble's assertations that I am a benefit cheating, fraudulent, scum sucking bottom dweller who not only needs to get a life I also need to get a job~!

News flash, my kids are the most important job I can think of. I ahve got the rest of my adult life afterwards to repay the debt to society that I may have run up by then. I will have considered it worth it to see my children grow up happy, secure and well adjusted.

Many thsnks for the positives staylucky but sadly I will always be the one in the wrong as far as my ex/fumble is concerned. His type simply cannot accept that there is any way other than theirs. Or any opinion other than theirs. Well, no valid one anyway! He's the sort to listen but then disregard everything if it doesn't support his side or view. Sad, very sad but true.

I just want to say again how deeply grateful I am and will alwways be for all the support and encouragement that I recieved from mn'ers on here. Hope I can repay someday (although not in the same way I hope!!!! No-one else could be as bad as my ex!!! SHUDDER )

Well done.

Grumpy- well done can't believe it's a week ago already.

Hopefully you should have a bit more cash, to lavish on your fab kids now you're not supporting him aswell!

Congratulations. Well done and Good Luck

brilliant grumpymoo, might be time for a namechange though - happymoo? positivemoo? cocklodgerfreeandfantasticmoo?

Your ex will never get it- why you left or what contribution he made to it. But its enouch that the situations over - dont give him any headspace, have fun and do your best with the kids

Good luck!

Why does it all feel like such a shitty deal? I wish I had the amswer to that. I know he and I didn;t have a future but WHY? I know why but why did it all ahve to turn so bad? When potentially it could have been so great.

Going through hell at the moment. Lots of 'anniversaries' and my squidgy little heart is bleeding all over the place. Tried the kick up the bum process but keep randomly burtsing into tears! Poor kids think I'm falling to pieces and I thought I was hiding it really well.

Oh, Grumpy, I'm srry to hear you're feeling so down. I guess it's the comedown after the initial high of getting shot of him. This, too, shall pass - and somewhere out there is a lovely man who'll deserve your love.

I'm just so angry. Still. And upset and feeling lost. I'm angry with myself for letting the situation get that bad and with him for a twat (but he wasn't always, although looking back the potential was always there) and i think my biggest problem (amongst the betrayal and hurt) is the loss of hope.

I know people tell me that I'll find soemone else but I thought I had. Complete serial monogamist I am. Two relationships (of any sort) in 33 years and both a failure.

Doesn't make you a failure though - I'd been through that many by the time I was, er, well, a lot younger than 33. It just takes practise to work out which are wankers, and you haven't had that.

yep. Definately the 'feeling sorry for myself' phase after the initial relief. I guess the depression will lift as normallity returns and daily routine takes over.

Ah but i picked them. So....

Is this nostalgia for the good times we had normal? For the things that I loved about him? All the ways we were connected. I know I cannot dismiss the bad stuff and indeed I haven't, I have made my choices (the only ones I could make) and I know I have to live with them. But how do I let it all go? Burn the emails he's sent me? delete photos of the two of us and the places we went?

Oh, you picked them because you're inexperienced. I'd picked a lot more than two wrong 'uns by the time I settled down with DH. Some just weren't right for me - not enough in common - some were tossers, some it might have worked out at a different time in our lives, but not right then.

Of course the nostalgia is normal - you're grieving for "what might have been" - if your ex weren't a wanker. Burn the emails if you want, keep them in a big envelope and read them this time next year if you'd rather - the photos can be edited.

I hadn't thought of it as greiving but I think you may be right. The death of hope. Sounds like a really trashy novel! Hmmm.. edited photos... Sounds positively theraputic! You tube maybe?? Thank you for cheering me up.

I'm buggering off to watch Corrie now, but I'll be back. Keep your chin up.

Oh, it's not the death of hope all together mind, just the death of hope that your ex might have been a decent bloke who'd care for you and your DC the way you all deserve to be cared for. Not the death of hope that that guy is still out there, somewhere.

oh, poor Grumpy and totally understandable, I agree with oldlady - its mourning the man you thought he was, the relationship you wanted with him, not the 13 stone of uselessness you moved out your house. Put the emails and photos away, deal with them later once youve had a bit of time and distance.
Go get something really indulgent for you and the DCs and sit and watch some trashy feelgood movie

Ive kissed a few frogs and made inexperienced choices too, but there are some lovely, charming and (whispers) emotionally healthy chaps out there!

Hi there - I've just been in the background throughout your thread

• but I just want to say that yes when you're looking back it really is so cruelly easy to see the lovely bits - espeically when you're feeling down..

but be strong and look back at the emails you've sent on this thread even - or the conversations you've had running up to this whole massive upheaval and you'll see your selective memory playing up.. - you've been amazingly strong so far..

I think it will be tough and horrible for a while - but you will be able to get back to being YOU without worrying about him and what's happening to you.

loads of love -- i'd recomend some chocolate or a really nice cake in the meantime -
or slightly more long term - a sparkly pair of trainers from primark - ONLY £4 - i'm evangelical about them

Yeah the kick up the bum method of moving on! I'm an expert at that. Sadly the method fails sometimes due to my squidgy heart.

I guess looking at it all very logically there must be more than one man out there that will 'get' me, 'complete' me, understand me and appreciate me. And all that my being a mum of three brings with it.

I'm honest enough to understand that all those things don't neccessarily come all at once or even all together in one person. oldlady once again spot on the money. And slightlyharried you are right. Well maybe not about the trainers...

God I am such a hopeless romantic. I keep thinking 'What if this wasn't the right ime for us? What if we meet a few years from now....' Barbra Cartland move over! He may just have grown up and found some decency by then.

Nah.

My squidgy heart and I are off for a chat about not falling to pieces over people kissing on the telly and slushy songs on the radio and every other little thing that reminds me of good times past (there were a few, not a huge amount but a few) and some of the bad ones.

Onwards and upwards. So far I have had a marriage out of the classifieds in the paper (I know!) and a years (ish on and off) relationship from Dating Direct online... So Match.com huh??? Third time lucky?

ping I was thinking of sticking them in a box and setting fire to tehm....

Too extreme .... perhaps?....

well its one way to be rid and you wont have to worry about them again!
I tried this once at school with the letters from a unsuitable spotty teen Romeo and Juliet style romance and set the chemistry cupboard on fire so I have always used a shredder since - but dont read the emails etc while you do it!