to have hated my holiday in France with my children?

[kiera]

dh thinks IABU. we just had a week in Brittany and after a few days I just wanted to come home, even though I had been the one that had organised it:

• took overnight ferry over thinking would be great idea, ds2 (2) didn't sleep well so got little sleep, would only sleep with us on v narrow beds
• ds2 then threw up twice in the car when we got off the ferry (sea-sick?)
• owner of the gite tried to rip us off by demanding a clean gite from top to bottom at the end of the week or we pay her 45 euros to do it herself, plus charging for bed linen and towels if we had not brought our own, and demanded a £200 security deposit cheque before we went - is this common practice in France?!?
• remote control for the DVD player missing, owner eventually found it and dropped it off - half way through the week - so dh and I could not enjoy films together as planned
• ds1 aged 5 whining complaining not wanting to walk if we went anywhere other than the beach ie anything he didn't want to do
• both children refusing to eat the food, even familiar foods, then having tantrums when denied ice-creams as a consequence
• much planning and cooking of dinner to ensure it was something they would eat only to have it rejected
• tried to have a meal out but both kids so badly behaved we never did it again - sticking forks in the table, making loads of noise, complaining etc etc, didn't eat the (not cheap) food even though just burger and chips
• kids rejected me all week in favour of dh who was the 'favoured parent' as he is normally at work
• no time with dh to myself apart from the 2 hours in front of the telly inbetween them going to bed and us going to bed
• the worry about the ferry crossing home - 9 hours on the ferry - in case ds2 sick again (was fine thank goodness)

At times I felt like I hated my children and I hated being away and I feel like the Ungrateful Mother/Wife from Hell!!! Dh cannot understand why I am not gloriously happy...

Sounds like hell so you are not being U but you are U for not having sex just because you're on your period?!?!?!?!

We spent a lot of time in devon in early years. Now they're 13, 11 and 4 and older ones enjoy getting away somewhere hot with other kids and waterslides, so we all have to do that (Eurocamp in france does the job). I tend to get in a huge sulk at some point about not doing anything cultural or interesting and they all ignore me and I get over it. Or we all go and do something cultural and it's awful. I've decided to do the cultural stuff with other people e.g. girlfriends and just eat, drink and enjoy the holiday and take lots of books. Main thing is that DH does some of the childcare and some of the food shopping.

so whats good about club med?
follygirl?

Have been to clubbed and would echo
follygirls comments about food being fab. Staff also nice- left dd for first time
in crèche last month and was impressed at quality of care(super clean, nice toys, good ratio, caring staff). Activities range good- took my dss and his cousin toturkish resort a few years ago and they loved it Which was amazing as were 15/16 so at that awkward hard to please age.

Yes it is like posh butlins with activities, shows , buffet meals but you don't have to join in(have done 5 or 6 holidays now and never seen a show or done crazy signs..) . For me ESP now dd here there is something very relaxing re routine. Plus if you book
for baby stuff get everything (bath cot changing warmer) in room plus a room full of baby food and milk open 24 7.

Having been on holiday with my little one since he was 3mths old i love it! of course not as relaxing as before kids but...

1. we have a villa within a marriott complex so daily cleaning of villa, linin laundry all done. clean towels sheets etc.
2. restaurants on site as well as fully equiped kitchen and bbq in garden so can do mix of staying in and going out.
3. various pools. one being next to villa shared by 4 villas.

so really only thing you have to do is go food shopping..... easy enough to bung clothes in the washing machine too and hang out to dry.

1. other family coming too (either parents or sister and family) so we can go out a couple of evenings just dh and i knowing little one being babysat by people he knows and loves.

my receipe for a good holiday.

Agreed, now I have the little one I really can't be doing with the whole self-catering malarkey. Much prefer to get everything done for me, then it's much more of a break!

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. Children do not magically change just because they are on holiday, they don't really have a concept at that age that their parents have put a lot of time and money into a holiday - to them they are just in a different place deciding whether they want to eat the lunch you've lovingly prepared or not.

I think holidays are very very hard at that age. We can never afford anything more than self catering, but I have learnt to seriously lower my expectations. I buy lots of picnicky food from the nearest nice shop and let them survive on grapes, cheese, bread and ham for the the week. I've also learnt from bitter experience that if I'm stressed and on edge that they might play up in a cafe then they probably will - kids are very good at picking up on atmospheres so the more anxious you get the more they often play up.

Holidays can't be about you and your partner anymore until the kids get a bit older - that's not your kids fault. It's also probably a bit unsettling when you're little to suddenly be going on big boats, sleeping in a different bed etc, especially if you sense that mum and dad are a bit cross about things too.

Until the kids get a bit older??? Ha ha ha!! I can assure you that it gets worse as they get older - long faces, sullen moods, not wanting to do anything you want to do, and with bedtimes around the same time as you, there is very little time for you and your DH.

As with anything, it depends where you go. If you fork out for kids clubs and plenty of entertainment for teenagers (and they are willing to go) then fine. If it's self catering with no entertainment - see previous paragraph.

aren't the clubmed hols vvv expensive- was looking at the country kids website and drooling, but £4000 for a week?????!!!!

Old thread, but still think YABU. And so are the vast majority of posters here. Children/babies can travel perfectly well (aside I suppose from travel sickness, but even then you can surely plan minimal transport time) if you plan and prepare carefully.
Why should they change magically just because they are abroad- their needs are still the same, as long as you realise this and have appropriate expectations then you will be fine.
Seems a shame to me that so many people are not travelling just because their baby's routine might be a bit disrupted or they might have to eat different food for a week (or not as the case may be- don't be ashamed of taking a lump of cheddar cheese abroad- if it makes life easier, then why not?).

my travel blog

Jennifer - your blog looks fascinating, and obviously enjoyed by all. However, I think you're being optimistic when you say that children and babies can travel perfectly well, or that it's a shame that so many people are not travelling because their baby's routine might be disrupted. For us, it mainly comes down to budget - much as we'd love to be able to afford the kind of trip you had, we're limited to a couple of weeks in a caraven in the UK with 3 children aged 13, 11 and 3. DS1 is rather challenging (I've posted many times over the years about him) and has been referred to a child psych. over the years. When we've managed to go abroad in the past with him, it's been pretty unpleasant all round - he needs to know exactly what we're doing and when, he needs to sleep at set times and above all he needs routine. If anything goes wrong then it's a complete meltdown (plane delays etc) - so it's actually easier to go for something that we know he can manage. Your trip would have been a nightmare for us as a family.

Though I see the point of many posters on this thread, I sort of agree with Jennifer. Though I havent read the blog (I dont ever read blogs.)

Travelling with young children does not come easy, it is a "learned skill".

Our oldest was just 18 months when we took him to south India for 3 months, it was a baptism of fire so to speak, as he was very ill at one point, but it did not stop us from hiring a car and driving around, and travelling the backwaters by boat. We have many good memories from the trip.

We go camping, by tent and by campervan, the longest we have been on the road is 5 weeks through Europe. We go on skiing holidays (locally) and winterholidays in the canaries annually. (we have to escape out of the arctic now and then ). We can pack up the car at moments notice and set off, finding a cabin to stay in on the way if we dont have the van. It IS stressful, and things dont always go to plan. But most of all it is enjoyable. We have learnt to plan meticulously, and deal with the unexpected. (Such as turning up to our Easter holiday destination after having been driving the entire day and find a NORO virus EPIDEMIC and having to leave and find alternative lodgings).

Dont be put off!

How many children do you have, Quint?

Just re-read that, and realised my post sounds rather chippy! What I meant was if you have more than one, what is the age gap, how old are they etc?

We have two.
They are now 7 (nearly 8) and 4 (5 in June).

Our oldest was 3 when the youngest was born, so the age gap is 3 years.

I'm not sure if the age gap matters - I know that we really notice a huge difference between 2 and 3. Our youngest was a surprise to say the least, and we know find ourselves with the challenging eldest coming into his teens, our 11 year old girl (the 2 of them niggle and fight all of the time) and a 3 year old - all of whom want completely different things from a holiday. With a limitless (or at least, generous!) budget I'm sure we could accommodate them all, but it's becoming harder to cope with all 3 - which is why we're seriously thinking of seperate holidays, to give us all what we want. We have no family close by, so don't ever get a break from child-rearing - which is why a week on our own, while the older 2 are away doing something active, structured, with routine and with other kids to play with sounds emminently sensible.

we had a great time in France. Once your sick> next time you will have your sea legs.Day time crossing works best for us.We found great place in Normandy, half board run by an English couple so the children could have their usual food. [we discussed with the owner].We stayed around the house most of the time ,so relaxing................