to have hated my holiday in France with my children?

[kiera]

dh thinks IABU. we just had a week in Brittany and after a few days I just wanted to come home, even though I had been the one that had organised it:

• took overnight ferry over thinking would be great idea, ds2 (2) didn't sleep well so got little sleep, would only sleep with us on v narrow beds
• ds2 then threw up twice in the car when we got off the ferry (sea-sick?)
• owner of the gite tried to rip us off by demanding a clean gite from top to bottom at the end of the week or we pay her 45 euros to do it herself, plus charging for bed linen and towels if we had not brought our own, and demanded a £200 security deposit cheque before we went - is this common practice in France?!?
• remote control for the DVD player missing, owner eventually found it and dropped it off - half way through the week - so dh and I could not enjoy films together as planned
• ds1 aged 5 whining complaining not wanting to walk if we went anywhere other than the beach ie anything he didn't want to do
• both children refusing to eat the food, even familiar foods, then having tantrums when denied ice-creams as a consequence
• much planning and cooking of dinner to ensure it was something they would eat only to have it rejected
• tried to have a meal out but both kids so badly behaved we never did it again - sticking forks in the table, making loads of noise, complaining etc etc, didn't eat the (not cheap) food even though just burger and chips
• kids rejected me all week in favour of dh who was the 'favoured parent' as he is normally at work
• no time with dh to myself apart from the 2 hours in front of the telly inbetween them going to bed and us going to bed
• the worry about the ferry crossing home - 9 hours on the ferry - in case ds2 sick again (was fine thank goodness)

At times I felt like I hated my children and I hated being away and I feel like the Ungrateful Mother/Wife from Hell!!! Dh cannot understand why I am not gloriously happy...

We've just got back from 2 weeks camping in Brittany. DC are 8 and 5, but we've done the same for the last 5 years, so I can say that it does get easier. We could lounge around while the children whizzed off with friends on the campsite, whereas when they were smaller they needed more input. DD (fussy) lived mostly on bread, cheddar (bought in the local SuperU)and tomatoes for the fortnight, supplemented by chips and crepes with jam when we ate out, but she doesn't seem too bad on it.

Is it always them women who do the cooking and washing up then? DH does more when we're away, and the children have started washing up. Hurrah!

This is an old thread...

i go with the its kids holiday lol not mine but i do tend relax meal times and always pick somewhere with lots to do since have dc of 15,12,6 and 4.mind were oft0o center parks and have booked younger 2 dc in to kids club so i can have me time

We're heading off on our first proper hotel holiday to Turkey on Saturday with J, who is eight. Previously we always went camping, or to Disneyland and Paris twice staying in a gite, because I was taken to Spain as a little kid myself ( my parents were aspirational! []) and it was pretty rubbish for my mum. So, I'm a bit nervous, but I think J is old enough now to enjoy it, and we have picked a resort with lots of family friendly activities (water parks etc) and of course a lovely hotel with a kid's club! (And I work FT, so shoot me!) Anyway, I'm expecting to have a bloody brilliant time, so I'm just going to go lalala I can't hear any of you!

YANBU - we had a similar holiday 2 yrs ago with the DCs (nearly 4, and 15mths), in the ILs holiday house in rural France. The kids were bored, there wasn't a huge amount to do with them (not even any parks or playgrounds!), the weather wasn't that warm so they spent a lot of time in front of DVDs, and neither of them slept particularly well esp. DD who ended up in our bed at about 5am every morning. It's just not a 'holiday' in the real sense of relaxing... I just don't think that's possible until the kids are at least school age and adjust better to change.

And of course now DS1 is about to start school, holidays will be much more expensive so I'm not sure we'll bother till all 3 are a good age to go. Easier to do days out instead.

As a parent of 4 children 18,16 5 and 4 and having done UK to NZ - several times with babies in tow (12 times last count) and having travelled round the world with them too I feel "reasonably qualified" to offer an opinion.

Firstly with young kids on holiday - unless you budget for a little extra help ( vetted and reliable of course which in itself is a challenge) then the holiday is ALL bout them and NOTHING about you and your needs and expectations. So the answer is simply don't go and save your money for a weekend trip away with your man and leave the kids with grand parents etc.

All you are doing is swapping your home for another home abraod with different lay out different surroundings language barriers culture differences etc etc. Its a potential nightmare.

However if your budget can stretch and you use a reliable operator you can go and do the whole repsonsible parent thing but then one a day get a nice 3-4 hour break just to sit by the pool relax read sunbathe etc etc.

You MUST have this time per day to yourself otherwise its no holiday at all.

The change in all of this depends on your kids maturity etc etc. Mine at 4 and 5 now can reliably entertain themselves by the pool - both swim like fish and whilst I dont switch off completely I do manage to sit and relax and just have the "one eye" over the edge of the novel to keep watch on them.

Each child of course is different however at some point they potentially will become less of a "chore or burden" when you travel abroad for a holiday. Also when their older they can register in kids clubs every morning for a few hours again giving you that well earned break.

Also DON'T spend that well earned break time making beds and cleaning up ...you're on holiday ...get daily maid service for a couple of hours each morning!

Anyway - sorry for prattling on - but I so feel for the mums that have had issues with how they feel about their kids being on hols with them.

Fire me more do's and don'ts if you like or challenge me if you want and I'll try and answer your comments.

This year we are booked for a 3 bedroom small villa - shared pool - cost me 650 euros a week. Paid 9 euros extra an hour for a daily made and 20 euros per week for linen change through the week. Got the kids booked into kids club each morning for 4 hours and they get a mid morning snack.

Have booked "me time" activities for every other morning and will veg by the pool when not doing an activity.

Now thats what I call a half decent break from the kids.

This thread is a year old!

YANBU, it doesn't sound as though you had much fun. However, I absolutely love going on holiday with my DCs. DH and I both work FT so it is a good opportunity for us to switch off and ignore DIY/Housework that inevitably takes over if we stay home.

We try and take the view that others have talked about, which is the holiday is all about the DCs. We do alot of the things they want to do. If they want to play on the beach all day so be it - it's a great chance for us to have a good old chat about stuff without the distractions at home.

It sounds sad that we need to go away to do these things but we love our holidays and am happy to put up with a bit of agro while travelling for the end result which is a happy, relaxed family. Somehow, we always come home with a renewed sense of family!

I know it sounds corny but it is proper family time for us.

Am excited now - off to google the Isle of Wight which is our next glamourous location!!

Out of interest, we haven't been away for more than a few days for the last 2 years and I really have noticed the difference.

Bloody hell - why do I always do a really long posts on threads that turn out to be weird!? How do these old threads pop up?!

It ia all about expectations. We have travelled abroad with ds since he was a newborn and quite franly the first 3-4 times were beyond awful.

When ds was 3 we went for 10 days to Majorca. He woke at 5am everyday for the first week (in a place where the first places to eat opened at 10am - one reason why we love SC with young children) and hated the beach (cried if we went near there) After a week of late nights he started to get used to it an would wake around 7am. BUT he slept through the night, he loved the pool and was very taken with the caves we explored.

Dh was also ill part of the time but we hired a car ( I drive anyway) an I took the opportunity to leave a sleeping dh and ds ( in a shaded spot in the car and sat at a beachside cafe reading the paper and drinking a cool drink. I had to look after ds in the evenings a couple of times though as dh was too ill to come out.

I look back on this holiday as the first one I actually enjoyed with ds. There was loads of stuff that wasn't great but I did manage to relax anyway. Much of it was about my stste of mind and how relaxed I was. Also I personally loath short holidays as I hate the packing/unpacking. I don't like anything less than a week and preferably I'd like two.

I came on this thread to hear that my Easter weekend from hell was not unique - but it's a year old! How did that happen? And why do these threads always contain posts from people like luxurybreaks who provide such "insights" as "budget that little bit extra and pay for additional help". Really? Gosh, I hadn't thought of that [eye rolling emoticon].

Some of you sound like miserable auld shites, tbh!
Self catering = picnics and restaurants, who needs to be cooking and washing up? As for bringing frozen home cooked meals and blocks of cheese....words fail me...do such unbearably fussy children abound?

I can't wait for my week in Brittany with my 3 children next month, we will have a fabulous time, as always.

We are all having separate holidays this year after the debacle of Le Touquet last July and the crap weather that was Wales in August.
Can't wait.
I HATE family holidays- I like being on my own!!

As a few people have said before, it's all about expectations and realising that you are not going to be able to sit around relaxing if you have little ones. Once this is realised and accepted, it is easier! A lot of it depends on the children as well though, I suppose.

We backpacked for a month in an Asian country for our Honeymoon with DS, he had just turned 2 years old at the time. Neither of us had been to this country before and it was our first "family" holiday too. Didn't expect too much, had nothing apart from the first 6 days acommodation booked and winged the rest and we had a ball. Yes, it was tiring at times, you have to do things at a slower pace, can't go out as a couple for drinks, etc but we had a wonderful time and will do it again soon (DC2 on the way now - hopefully this one wil be as relaxed as DS1).

As for food - we let him eat what he wanted/appeared to like (all local food) - he had plenty of fruit/veg and rice. Bought some western kinds of biscuit things just in case (and for bribery if we were stuck on a bus or something), but just relaxed and let him get on with it. He fared a lot better than we thought to be honest, but we figured there was no point in getting stressed about what he ate, as long as there was some kind of goodness there. He mainly did steamed rice, bananas and whatever local people gave him as a treat (strange salted fish stringy things and other unusual things). I think he ate them happily because someone gave them as a treat! Don't think he would of if I gave him some here though!

We were knackered at the end of it, but saw a beautiful country, spend quality time together and he had a fab time too. Here is hoping DC2 will be the same, but I'll probably be pulling my hair out and never going abroad again for the next ten years!!!!

A Year Old.................

Sounds like someone dug up and old thread so they could advertise something - if the post by 'luxurybreaks' was the OP the replies would not be so engaging.

I think much depends on the number of children, and their ages, as well. One laid back 2 year old is a very different story to 3 children, one of whom is a very boisterous, demanding lively 13 year old, one easy going 11 year old and one whirlwind of a 3 year old!

Deaddei - after our disaster of a long weekend, and our previous family holidays, DH are seriously thinking of seperate holidays this year. Very tempting.....

Do it!!!
We will be attempting a family one next year- I'm having 3 breaks this year, Dh 2 and the dcs a week each.

my children are 7 and 4 and have never been abroad.

I took mine to Skegness for a week last year, ages 3 and 6, and by day 5 of the holiday, we were on the train back, as i had become so stressed that I was getting post neuralgic pains from my shingles, my phone was broken, I was HORRIBLY lonely (am single mum) and don't have a car, and it was cold, raining and we were ill dressed as I hadn't been able to carry enough clothes for us to be warm and dry!

And on the way back, as the train pulled up at our station, I swore that I would not take them on holiday again until they are both fully, reliably continent, until they don't hit each other the second I am out of the room, until they don't try to kill themselves in the kitchen while I'm sitting on the toilet, and until they can reliably do as they are told and understand the reasons given.

At this rate, they'll be paying.

You shoudl go with lots of people
There is always someone who will be happy to help you out then!
That's what we did when dd was younger. We had lots of lovely holidays with groups of friends and all the children played together and therefore didn't hassle us so much and wore themselves out.

In fact when we were in the S of France when dd was about 10 months, a friend's much older dd adored her so much she played with her most of the time [bliss]

I think we will. In fact, this year DS1 is going to Switzerland with the Scouts, and I'm taking DD and her friend up north for a week. They are so easy going, and immerse themselves in their own little world, so it will be bliss for me. DS2 (3) and DH are not going anywhere, and neither of them care.

Next year we're thinking of packing the eldest 2 off to an outward bound type thing, or repeating this year. Family holidays are horribly overrated imo. Bah humbug!

I say holidays with young children are not holidays, merely surviving in a strange place until you go home again. That said I have enjoyed my last couple of holidays with kids (boys 4 & 2) but they have been hard work!