Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have hated my holiday in France with my children?

168 replies

kiera · 20/04/2009 10:10

dh thinks IABU. we just had a week in Brittany and after a few days I just wanted to come home, even though I had been the one that had organised it:

  • took overnight ferry over thinking would be great idea, ds2 (2) didn't sleep well so got little sleep, would only sleep with us on v narrow beds
  • ds2 then threw up twice in the car when we got off the ferry (sea-sick?)
  • owner of the gite tried to rip us off by demanding a clean gite from top to bottom at the end of the week or we pay her 45 euros to do it herself, plus charging for bed linen and towels if we had not brought our own, and demanded a £200 security deposit cheque before we went - is this common practice in France?!?
  • remote control for the DVD player missing, owner eventually found it and dropped it off - half way through the week - so dh and I could not enjoy films together as planned
  • ds1 aged 5 whining complaining not wanting to walk if we went anywhere other than the beach ie anything he didn't want to do
  • both children refusing to eat the food, even familiar foods, then having tantrums when denied ice-creams as a consequence
  • much planning and cooking of dinner to ensure it was something they would eat only to have it rejected
  • tried to have a meal out but both kids so badly behaved we never did it again - sticking forks in the table, making loads of noise, complaining etc etc, didn't eat the (not cheap) food even though just burger and chips
  • kids rejected me all week in favour of dh who was the 'favoured parent' as he is normally at work
  • no time with dh to myself apart from the 2 hours in front of the telly inbetween them going to bed and us going to bed
  • the worry about the ferry crossing home - 9 hours on the ferry - in case ds2 sick again (was fine thank goodness)

At times I felt like I hated my children and I hated being away and I feel like the Ungrateful Mother/Wife from Hell!!! Dh cannot understand why I am not gloriously happy...

OP posts:
blueshoes · 20/04/2009 21:39

Self-catering works for us with small children. I can see how people might not consider it a holiday to have to cook and wash up. The trick is to stay close to a nice town with restaurants and cafes, so all lunches out, but dinners in, because we would not force our tired and cranky children on others. Dh and I like to cook anyway, so looking at markets and local produce is quite nice. We have lots of BBQs.

When it was just dd, we did self-catering in France. Since ds came along, it has been UK self-catering.

ABetaDad · 20/04/2009 21:41

letswiggle - we are having the same discussion. I do not want to spend a huge sum not really enjoyng myself and sending kids to a kids club that is less good than the one where we live. My wife just likes laying basking in the sun but I get bored after 2 hours.

Don't worry about the kids not seeing you much. Our kids are itching to get to the club usually. They are just happy we are there if they need us and we usually say helloa few times a day if they are round the pool etc but they just ignore us and wander off.

morningpaper · 20/04/2009 21:47

YANBU

Can you take a half-day off with your DH or something to recover?

We went away to Spain for a week last year - never again! Frankly I would rather spend a night spanking my husband in a Travelodge outside Swindon than a week with my children abroad.

isittooearlyforgin · 20/04/2009 21:49

we go on holiday in france just like your holiday every year and have a fab time - the difference being that we go with friends with similar age kids and it just makes everything so much easier - kids are happy cos they have someone else to play with and we share cooking and babysitting - so get to go out in the eve. oh - also a pool is fab idea as it entertains kids so much. it's still hard work but somehow more enjoyable.

snickersnack · 20/04/2009 22:04

I have lowered my expectations of holidaying with small children to the point where if no-one ends up in hospital or divorced then I consider it perfectly satisfactory.

We go away with friends a lot - we used to do it pre-children as well, so we're quite used to making the necessary compromises. I can see it might be a shock if you'd never done it before. We also often go away with our in-laws (I can see that might not be for everyone) - they get to spend quality time with the children, and it takes the pressure off a bit. I also adjust my normal eating rules - as long as they are eating bread and fruit, I figure they won't die from a few ice creams. And then as I fall asleep at night I dream about 14 years time when they won't want to go on holiday with us and we can go back to holidays as something to look forward to, rather than something to be got through.

ABetaDad · 20/04/2009 22:41

morningpaper - PMSL at that .

I know the Travelodge you mean by the way. The walls are very thin.

colnelcustard · 21/04/2009 07:49

we drove to italy last year. fucking huge mistake.

thought dp was going to get out the car at one point and fly home. naturally leaving me to drive 'on the wrong side of the road'. luckily we stuck with it but when we got to the apartment that we had hired i felt totally ripped off as it was miles from anywhere and they had made out it had its own pool when it didn't i would have had to pay 100Eur for using a pool in someone's back garden.

the drive back was just as hellish but was broken up by a trip to disneyland paris which the children loved.

i said never again. we are driving to brittany in august. this time i'm taking a portable dvd player in the car and installing some kind of sound proof screen like you get in limo's.

cory · 21/04/2009 08:02

Self-catering can work if your partner does his share. Doesn't have to be all Mummy. For two healthy adults, cooking one basic meal a day between them and making one lot of sandwiches doesn't have to be a major effort. You can even get away with cooking every other day if you make a big pot of spaghetti bol or whatever.

The drawback with a hotel is having to keep your children on perfect behaviour so as not to upset the other guests.

thirtypence · 21/04/2009 08:02

The last holiday we had was brilliant - we went 45 minutes up the road and staying in a cottage on a farm. Ds was allowed to pick fresh veggies from the organic patches on the farm (so he ate them!) and I pan fried or roasted some meat and baked some potatoes or made a salad every night. Took a few minutes - very basic and tasty.

Away from our house we talked to each other (rather than just pass each other in the corridor), played games and just did simple things like throw a ball in the garden, or throw stones in the creek.

My mum thought we were crazy going to stay somewhere that had nothing to do and was day trip distance. I thought it was one of the nicest holidays I have had.

And I still had to clean and cook but since the cottage was the size of our open plan living room/kitchen it wasn't a biggie, but I didn't have to answer the phone, I got no post and I didn't have to be anywhere.

If you had added on an enormous drive, a ferry and puke - I don't think I would have enjoyed it at all. So YANBU.

morningpaper · 21/04/2009 08:23

agree 30p - for the last three years we've driven 1.5 hours to Devon and stayed in a caravan near the beach

Pleasant evenings eating pasta and drinking wine and if anyone is ill we can just come back home!

foxinsocks · 21/04/2009 08:34

we went to France at Easter and for the first time, it was actually quite relaxing and the dcs are 8 and 7.

They can stay up late without being gibbering or howling wrecks the next day, they can do a bit of culture and can still be bribed with ice creams .

But yes, our trips abroad before that were more like hard work than holiday!

wishingchair · 21/04/2009 11:31

YANBU at all. I didn't like our holiday last year to Cornwall. DD2 turned 2, embraced the tantrum and decided she hated sand so much she wouldn't even stand on it with shoes on. Add in the disturbed nights and it wasn't all that fun.

We're going to France this year on a 2 part disney/eurocamp plus occasional camping night thrown into the mix. We're hoping that the abundance of activities might avert the whining ...

Am bracing myself though ...

Libra · 21/04/2009 11:48

This is the reason we house swap for holidays.

We always chose to exchange with a family with a child the same age as DS2 (DS1 - teenager- just needs to be plugged into his iPod). Then there are lots of toys for DS2 to play with and he is happy.

I am evangelical on the subject of how house swapping has improved our holidays.

kktpj · 21/04/2009 14:50

Have been holidaying in different areas in france with eurocamp for 7 years now- started when twins 3 and dd 5
This year have bought rv to continue our fun!!! but almost 13 yr old dd says it boring!!!!

Go with the flow, expect nothing, live on bread and jam who cares for 2/3 weeks.
I do remember trawling french supermarkets for "proper" english pan loaf tho!!!
Food bit improves with age
Just wait till the drink bit kicks in!

frazzledoldbag · 21/04/2009 14:58

House swapping...hmmm never thought about that. libra any companies you'd recommend for this? Is it expensive (or is that a silly question and do you just do a straight swap of a similar sized property???) Might consider that...

Libra · 21/04/2009 19:13

We belong to Intervac. It costs about sixty pounds to join for the year and then you have access to the details of thousands of properties all over the world.

We have swapped with families in Denmark, Sweden, France, Belgium and Spain. Also short breaks all over the UK.

All we ever pay for is our travel there and back.

It is terrifying the first time you do it and then addictive.

frazzledoldbag · 21/04/2009 19:36

Thanks for the info libra - might have to investigate this as an option!

Fairynufff · 23/04/2009 10:25

I've been making this mistake for about 8 years now and still haven't really come to terms with the fact that holidays with small kids are not really holidays. I could take your OP and raise it by 5 or 6 similar experiences or worse... Even over Easter I looked into the bottom of a strange washing up bowl and thought "I have a fucking dishwasher at home - why am I here?"

I'm praying that when I look at all the carefully staged photographs one day when I'm an old woman my befuddled memory will make me go all misty eyed and say "oh what wonderful holidays we had when the kids were little..."

CaurnieBred · 23/04/2009 13:02

I don't get why kids clubs are so vilified either - children much prefer being with and playing with other children imho (or maybe that is just my DD). We went to a Thomsons (self catering) resort last year and DD (then aged 3) couldn't wait to go to kids club in the morning - it was only for 2 hours and then we had the rest of the day together as a family; but those 2 hours to just veg around and do our own thing were wonderful for DH and I.

DH only travelled independently before we had DD but since she was 18 months we have mostly gone down the charter option for our main, summer holiday. We self cater as then we have a separate bedroom and we take our own breakfast cereal with us so not trying to get DD to eat something she isn't used to. You are also then guaranteed that there are other children around for DD to play with and you can have some down time. This year will be the first year she has been swimming, so I won't even need to fret about her being close to the pool either - yipee.

BadgersArse · 16/08/2009 15:12

i like self catering in france for eg = maybe it depends how good a cook you are.
havce one very fussy ds and so i DO import cheddar for him - easier all around

squilly · 16/08/2009 15:42

We've had lots of great holidays, without holiday clubs, self catered in the arse-end of nowhere. But that's cos my husband is quite antisocial and I hate noise, so the thought of staying in a hotel is too much of a risk for either of us.

Our one exception in this has been Eurodisney, which we've visited 4 times now, usually around DD's birthday. She loves it and generally has a ball.

Of all the holidays we've had our three favourites have been a split, Eurodisney/Paris trip which was 10 days and was just perfect. Paris was cool and DD loved the Art Galleries (but then she's 7, so she's the right age for it).

Bordeaux in a gite was a favourite, so we've been there 3 or 4 times, BUT we had friends on the coast, so spent half our time with them and their boys, one a year older than dd, one a year younger.

Lastly, or possibly top of the list if you ask dd, we went to Featherdown Farms over Easter this year. DD Loved it. We sat in our posh tent and watched her playing with other kids and it was great. It was, however, still camping, so was cold at night and in the morning. I wouldn't do it again without a camping heater and a camping stove. T'was murder trying to get the woodburning stove going and it didn't exactly belt out heat when it did. It was heavenly during the unseasonably warm days though.

Things will get better when (a) your kids get older and (b) you match up your expectations with holidays.

floatyjosmum · 16/08/2009 15:56

ithink holidays abroad with littlies can be a nightmare and im just hoping it gets easier as they get older.
know when we went to us last year dd who was just turned 3 spent a week in uk time and then came home and spent 3 days in us time!
by the time we came home i wanted a holiday on my own

oh and i can remember dropping my bag on the floor at heathrow saying i wanted to go home and we hadnt even left the country!

mumeeee · 16/08/2009 16:12

Our children were 9.7 and 5 the first time we went abroud to France. We went with Haven and stayed on 2 sites the first was a caravam wand there was a childrens club in the mornings. On the second site we had a fully equipped tent and we went to Disneyland Paris. We were very relaxed and just made simple meals. But I think I wouldn't do it with under fives.

BadgersArse · 16/08/2009 16:13

i htink having mates around on the site to play with is good
and our kids love the naff french entertainment
this year ds2(9) could " go to the bar" on his bike alone till 11pm wiht his mate

sunfleurs · 16/08/2009 16:17

I don't think YABU but I am in the minority I think when I say I absolutely love going on holiday with my kids. Not really a lay about the pool kind of person so we do loads of stuff, go to loads of places and have a fabulous time. Yes hard work but it is here as well, at least it is sunny and beautiful and the kids are knackered so go to sleep quickly so we can have a lovely glass of wine on the balcony with a gorgeous view.

I am separated now but still planning on taking kids to Spain on my own next year.

Swipe left for the next trending thread