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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have hated my holiday in France with my children?

168 replies

kiera · 20/04/2009 10:10

dh thinks IABU. we just had a week in Brittany and after a few days I just wanted to come home, even though I had been the one that had organised it:

  • took overnight ferry over thinking would be great idea, ds2 (2) didn't sleep well so got little sleep, would only sleep with us on v narrow beds
  • ds2 then threw up twice in the car when we got off the ferry (sea-sick?)
  • owner of the gite tried to rip us off by demanding a clean gite from top to bottom at the end of the week or we pay her 45 euros to do it herself, plus charging for bed linen and towels if we had not brought our own, and demanded a £200 security deposit cheque before we went - is this common practice in France?!?
  • remote control for the DVD player missing, owner eventually found it and dropped it off - half way through the week - so dh and I could not enjoy films together as planned
  • ds1 aged 5 whining complaining not wanting to walk if we went anywhere other than the beach ie anything he didn't want to do
  • both children refusing to eat the food, even familiar foods, then having tantrums when denied ice-creams as a consequence
  • much planning and cooking of dinner to ensure it was something they would eat only to have it rejected
  • tried to have a meal out but both kids so badly behaved we never did it again - sticking forks in the table, making loads of noise, complaining etc etc, didn't eat the (not cheap) food even though just burger and chips
  • kids rejected me all week in favour of dh who was the 'favoured parent' as he is normally at work
  • no time with dh to myself apart from the 2 hours in front of the telly inbetween them going to bed and us going to bed
  • the worry about the ferry crossing home - 9 hours on the ferry - in case ds2 sick again (was fine thank goodness)

At times I felt like I hated my children and I hated being away and I feel like the Ungrateful Mother/Wife from Hell!!! Dh cannot understand why I am not gloriously happy...

OP posts:
deaddei · 06/04/2010 18:08

Maisie- maybe you and I should whisk ourselves away- we sound very similar! My dcs want to do outward bound-y things too.......how about Barcelona???

follygirl · 06/04/2010 18:10

We're going away this summer to an all-inclusive holiday it's the third time we have used the company and both holidays have been fab! The food is excellent (don't believe those James Villa adverts), they have a huge pool and activities for the kids and the staff are amazing. Both times my dc have made friends round the pool and although we don't use the kids' clubs they are excellent too. As I was saying to my dd today it's a real holiday for mummy!

LeQueen · 06/04/2010 18:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaisietheMorningsideCat · 06/04/2010 18:38

You didn't speak for a whole day?? Par for the course here, plus a few days!

Deaddei - you're on! A week in Barcelona sans kids it is

sparkle12mar08 · 06/04/2010 19:30

Holidays with young kids = same old shit, different view!

clemette · 06/04/2010 20:09

I know this is an old thread but I have read it all with only one thought in my head - is it weird that spending time with DH is so far off the bottom of my list of holiday priorities that it doesn't figure?! I consider it a success if the DCs are happy to BOTH do something with DH for a little while so I can read my book in peace.
Will second the idea of going away with other families, especially if their children are a bit older and enjoy entertaining toddlers.
Would not use kids clubs myself as I work full-time. If I want a child-free day I would rather stay at home to do it.

MorrisZapp · 06/04/2010 22:27

I love this old thread!

Me and DP intend to tag team holidays when our LO arrives. He can away for a bit, then I can go away for a bit. Perfect.

Little kids don't need holidays anyway, they just want to watch tv and eat crisps so what's the point.

Has anybody here ever sent a child to a 'camp' or similar? Is PGL still going? I used to fantasise about going there. Now I fantasise about sending my DC there.

fallon8 · 06/04/2010 22:33

morning town ride,
loads of holiday sex, what with the same person?

fallon8 · 06/04/2010 22:35

Morriszap. Ions ago, when my now 26yr daughter was about 7/8, she went to a PGL riding Camp, she had a BALL, they loved it. yes, they are still going,it was money well, spent.

elastamum · 07/04/2010 06:08

Really old thread but very interesting. I am in the US skiing with my kids ATM - so not really up in the middle of the night I am a LP and I don't really see holidays with the kids as a rest but a chance to share experiences and spend fun time together. so far this holiday we have toured san francisco, driven 5 hours in a rental suv through a white out, skiied some really steep slopes on and off piste and had some great laughs together. The way I see it is that they will be with me for probably another 10 years max - they are 9 and 11, so we should have as much fun as we can and I will rest up when I am back at my desk

MaisietheMorningsideCat · 07/04/2010 10:44

If we could afford to go ski-ing in the US then mine wouldn't moan either - they'd think they'd died and gone to heaven! Sadly, it's a slightly different story if you're stuck in a cottage in a torrential downpour in the UK - which is why we're probably going to go with the adventure type thing for the kids (who love that kind of thing) and a quiet time for DH and I to recharge at home, plus a couple of weekend breaks as a family.

ellasmum1 · 07/04/2010 12:02

oh i am trying pagel in france this year in the hope it will be more relaxing holiday, if not i will be giving up till youngest is 4.5/5

ellasmum1 · 07/04/2010 12:11

follygirl where/who is it you recommend?

ladymarian · 07/04/2010 13:08

YANBU

I can't imagine anything worse than going on a foreign holiday with my dd (2)!

As other posters have said, its not a rest for you. The kids are just the same as they are at home if not worse as they are in a strange environment and out of their routine.

We have had 2 UK based holidays so far - a few days away with Granny and Grandad there too.

Sweetpeadotcom · 07/04/2010 16:14

Hi Guys please can someone help me as I am new to mumsnet today. What on earth are all these initials being used for and what do they mean?? Ds1. Dc2, DH, dd and others etc!!?? thanks

12MrPhew99100 · 07/04/2010 16:22

I can't believe how many of you hate family holidays! We have been going camping/villas abroad since ours were all tiny (9,6 and 3 now) and always love it.
Yes it's hard work, but we all muck in and enjoy every bit of the time we spend as a family.
As far as food goes, as someone else said, picnic, bbq, and eat out when in Spain- they love children, even noisy ones!

MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 07/04/2010 19:00

YANBU to have hated it, but as others have said - unrealistic expectations. Always amazes me that people think it essential to have a holiday with small children - why? they would rather be at home. I always get a feeling of dread when I hear about 'child friendly' hotels and 'kids clubs' for toddlers - gruesome!
We had only a couple of hols while the dc ere under 5 - made up for it later, when we can all have a good time and they are old enoigh to appreciate the difference rather than being bewildered by it.

biddyofsuburbia · 07/04/2010 19:30

In my experience either you pay through the nose for a hol with childcare / kids club and then feel guilty for not seeing the DCs enough OR you have to grin and bear it and try to be positive about new places / different experiences !

I dread hols for so many of the reasons above but my DH is working hard the whole time and feels he's not had a break unless we go away. We've had soooo many arguments about this! The one exception is skiing as now both the DCs are learning I can shove them in the club and not feel in the least bit guilty, out of pocket but not guilty! Well, maybe a tiny bit but nothing a bit of apres ski can't sort out. Tbh I usually dread it (packing, airport/long car journey) but have chilled out by the end of the week enough to go with the flow.

mybabywakesupsinging · 07/04/2010 21:29

For our holiday we will book a house somewhere near a beach. Both sets of grandparents come but do not do childcare/cooking - so DH and I have 2 dc + cooking for 8 for a week...
It is fun, especially if the weather is kind, and as both dc have crashed out at by 9 (they are now 5 + 2) there is an evening.
We don't have piles of washing as we will do it while we are away, and I will pre-order Tesco or similar to deliver huge amounts of food, so no food-related tantrums (from dc or FiL!). Overall I don't expect things to be much different in the foreseeable future (although would love it if one night DH and I could go out for dinner...mmmm....).
We will go away with the dc only in the tent for some family-only time, as surprisingly enough no-one is keen to share a smallish tent with the 2 boys and us.

choosyfloosy · 07/04/2010 21:43

sweetpeadotcom, there is a list of abbreviations on the site somewhere but I have forgotten where - basically the initial 'd' is for 'darling' so dd is darling daughter, dh is darling husband, etc etc does that help?

Angela82 · 07/04/2010 22:23

Haven't had time to read through this whole thread but getting the gist of it though.

Self catering abroad is just same stuff, different country. We went to Spain, self catering for a quick getaway for a week last year and it was awful ! Plus with the added stress of packing for a family of 4 and the flight etc...

Went to Beaches Turks and Caicos for 2 weeks about a year and a half ago and it's so much more of a holiday when you have small children. I know some parents do sneer at kids clubs but our children had so much fun and were constantly entertained rather than getting bored at the pool. And they got to nap in the afternoon in the lovely air conditioned rooms on giant bean bags rather than sweating in a pram next to us. The kids love it, we get to 'zone out' for a couple of hours and there is no washing up at the end of it. What's not to like?

Obviously though these holidays are pricier and not always an option - I'm trying to find a cheaper alternative that is similar to Beaches for next month ! (quite difficult!)

Karoleann · 07/04/2010 22:45

Holidays are definitely a learning curve, we've had a couple of good ones and a couple of bad (bad accom, grumpy pg me) Have worked out you need to stay in self catering and throw money at it - ie have pool on site, tesco delivery, pizza express and child friendly pub nearby. and be able to drive there with a car full of new toys and an enclosed garden at the cottage. And chickens too!! And a good restuarant nearby/babysitters/taxi service so a lot really.
DS1 threw up on the way home from Brittany all over the car and it rained all week.
Go to Cornwall.
We're being adventurous and off to Eurodisney this year!!

follygirl · 07/04/2010 22:49

ellasmum1 We have used Club Med and have been really impressed. As it's French, the food is fabulous and I do like my food . We have been to a resort in Italy and in Portugal and have loved it both times.

Frizbe · 07/04/2010 23:01

Ahh this thread brings back fond memories of trying to persuade dd2 there really is no kids tv on at 2am in Majorca...we ended up watching Rock World TV, as everything else was soft porn at that time of night....

For the record I've found chedder in Carrefour!

biddyofsuburbia · 07/04/2010 23:02

Karoleann we are going to Cornwall next week. In the car and probably in the rain, although we are staying in a hotel and DH has agreed that I can use the laundry service hehe!

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