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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that age 9 is too young to go the cinema in the evening without an adult ....?

501 replies

dicksbird · 19/04/2009 15:42

Just collected DD from a sleepover. She is 9 but friend she stayed with is 10 and another girl also sleeping over is just 10. They are all in year 5.

I knew there was some mention that a cinema trip may be involved but I wasnt specifically told beforehand.

Now I find out they were dropped outside the cinema at 6.30pm amd picked up at 8.30 from outside. None of them had a mobile phone !!

Mumsney jury what do you think ??? Am i just being silly ???

OP posts:
hayley79 · 19/04/2009 18:41

he will be ready when i say. i did not say u did hate yours did i? wht i said is that i would not put MY children in that situation and i like to know where and what my children are getting up to little girls think they know so much about the world have u not heard them talk

piscesmoon · 19/04/2009 18:43

You said that you loved yours too much, as if anyone who let them go on their own didn't love them as much as you loved yours hayley-at least that was how I interpreted it.

Original poster
dicksbird · 19/04/2009 18:43

its in the centre of town surrounded by pubs many of which spill out on to the pavements for the smokers.

I guess its at odds with their usual life in which I still have a nanny to look after them.

Is a 9 year old old enough to be left home alone after school everyday then ??

Am I realy too smothering ??

OP posts:
hayley79 · 19/04/2009 18:44

she did not slag did she must of missed that bit she was stating that she would have liked to b asked

39and3quarters · 19/04/2009 18:46

No Dicksbird you are not. My DD will go to afterscool club until she's 12 - then (she'll be too old to go) I don't know - still seems too young to be home alone - what do others do??

BitOfFun · 19/04/2009 18:46

Depends on the child tbh. Quite possibly ok too IMO.

hayley79 · 19/04/2009 18:47

i didnot say that sorry if it came across like that i maybe am to overprotecting but thats the way i am

piscesmoon · 19/04/2009 18:47

No I don't think you are too smothering-I wouldn't want to leave a 9yr old at home every day. I agree that you should have been asked first. I would have left mine at that age because it is on it's own-any trouble makers would be at a later film and there is no one else around.There is no pub and no alcohol.

hayley79 · 19/04/2009 18:50

but i do draw the line at 9 and 10 year olds goin to the pics on their own EVER but maybe with the 12 year old i am overprotecting him

piscesmoon · 19/04/2009 18:50

I accept that you didn't mean the way it sounded hayley! If you are looking after someone else's DC I think it is always best to ask the parent first.

purpleduck · 19/04/2009 18:51

Although I think my ds would be fine, he is sensible - I do think that I would like to have made the decision.

That said OP, it is done, maybe use it as a discussion opener of "what she would do if..."

ie "If you couldn't find friends mum, what would you have done?"
Might be a good time to make sure she knows her home phone number,safe places to go etc.

Also, my ds would prob want to make sure it was ok with me, so maybe a discussion about how its always ok to phone to ask something etc

foxinsocks · 19/04/2009 18:52

well I think you should have been told but can't see any harm in it (once you were told)

also think re mobiles that children should learn to be trustworthy before they have mobiles (i.e. they should turn up on time when they say they will, come back on time etc.)

spicemonster · 19/04/2009 18:53

I think that's the point really piscesmoon - you should tell parents what you're planning for their children and then they can decide if they're happy or not. In that respect, I do completely agree with the OP

Original poster
dicksbird · 19/04/2009 18:58

I think that is what suprised me most which is why I posted on here.

I think it is a big big deal and that age and I should have been consulted.

The fact that is wasnt made me wonder why and if I was being odd ! ie it was perfectly routine at that age IYSWIM.

YO be honest DD wouldny have had a clue if something had gone wrong and would have been very frightened. I shudder to think.

OP posts:
screamingabdab · 19/04/2009 19:22

dicksbird I do think it is wrong that you were not consulted about this, so that you could judge whether your DD and her friends were mature enough to be able to do this.

However, I still think it's a pretty low risk activity, and the girls were not alone, there were three of them

Phoenix4725 · 19/04/2009 19:30

i would have asked first if was taing someone elses dc ,

and hayley70 my 11 ds is a latch key kid every school day as I can not be in 2 places at 1 he knows the rules and how to get holdof me in any emergency ,its good to allow them independence

piscesmoon · 19/04/2009 19:36

I think it is wise to have discussions about what to do it you are in trouble-in a general type way. I would have expected mine to have found a member of staff and got them to phone me. DS2 impressed me when he was 5-he got lost in a shop-went straight up to a security guard and got his name announced on the loud speaker-this was only because we discussed these things in advance.

macdoodle · 19/04/2009 19:42

Hayley are you for real?? seriously
How does your 12 yr old get to and from school?? He never goes out with his mates to play by himself??
Wow am gobsmacked how is he ever going to learn to be independant - yes that is a bit overprotective

screamingabdab · 19/04/2009 19:42

piscesmoon I agree. We have had discussions of this sort ever since mine were about 5.

SerendipitousHarlot · 19/04/2009 19:52

haleyd, you're having a laugh arent't you?

OP - I can understand why you're annoyed, a little bit - but tantamount to neglect? Gimme a break.

hayley79 · 19/04/2009 20:02

no i walk him to the bus and he phones me when he gets off and when he comes out he phones me and i meet him when he gets off he knows not to miss the bus

Dillydaydreamer · 19/04/2009 20:04

I don't think YABU and agree its a bit young. 11 fine because they make their own way to school etc on bus/foot iyswim but 9 I definately would be angry that they hadn't cleared it with you first and didn't have a mobile.
I would do the sitting a few rows back or wait in the car iyswim.

SerendipitousHarlot · 19/04/2009 20:05

You need to start loosening them there apron strings a bit I think, love

You think you're protecting him, but if you carry on as you are, he will resent you. IMO.

MillyR · 19/04/2009 20:05

Hayley

I don't understand why. Do you live in area with a lot of knife crime or something similar?

Goober · 19/04/2009 20:07

I would be very pissed off!

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