I want some honest opinions and I know most are on this subject at this time of night

[TheLadyEvenstar]

Ok ds1 is due to start secondary in September, for his entire schooling (so far) he has been the minority...being the only white child in his class and 1 of 4 in the entire school.

Most of the schools where I live are like this. BUT if i were to move 25 minutes away the schools are more of an even mix would this be wrong to do?

I am not racist at all, i have no room to be BUT i do want him to not only mix with black children.

It would mean either moving now and getting him to school every day or waiting until the schools break up and then moving ready for september.

Because as I have already mentioned, I didnt have children then.

I do have children now. They have been to schools in North and East London and none of the schools have been all black.

But then my kids are black so its not something that I would be that bothered about I suppose.

Che, its not the fact they are black, I have said I would feel the same if he was in an all white/asian/chinese school....

No Ladyevenstar I was just replying to Dandy. I am not making a judgement on your post.

I am being honest though. It wouldnt really bother me. It wouldnt bother most people if the school was all white and their kids were white. It wouldnt make them Nazis.

Mind you if a school was all white in Peckham or Southall you would wonder why would you?

EG.My sis lives in Devon. Her kids are white. The schools are all white. She doesnt angst about it, why should she. I dont think she is a racist.

As I have said, ideally all schools would be ethnically diverse and also be properly integrated (not just paying lip service with a couple of ramps).

But they are not.

What I am writing is what I am thinking. There is no hidden meaning in my posts.

TLE, if my Dc's were in your Ds's position right now, I'd forget about the even mix you are thinking about and go for the one you mentioned before that is majority white ~ the reason being that he will obviously know very few boys there and can go there with a clean slate and try to make friends. Mixing with other ethnic mixes can come at other times and through other means. He may be able to build up some confidence doing that and then perhaps wont be bullied in the future.

We are mixed race, though we have all turned out white/light olive skinned despite the Asian and black backgrounds and my Ds is bullied by white boys and African girls. I keep telling him that they can't do any more bullying of him once he goes to the all boys secondary in September, plus there aren't many boys at all going from his primary to his secondary.

I found the whole sorting out of a secondary for Ds very worrying and stressful and I know I'm not alone. Perhaps you, like me found the whole thing confusing.

I hope that hasn't come out wrong.

Dandy - I agree with you. I was making a sarcastic comment saying how much this particular topic irritates me (my sarcasm clearly didn't come across accurately in print ).

The OP started out by making it a problem of ethnicity and skin colour, then later decided that it was actually about bullying, then decided that since the bullies are black it probably is a problem of ethnicity - so apparently all the world's bullies are black? I have been on threads exactly like this three times within the past few months now, where the OP starts out saying they don't want their white kids in a black school and then later says 'oh it's actually about bullying, not skin colour at all', etc etc. The first time I was patient and understanding. The second time I was a bit sceptical but still patient. This time I have had enough.

What the OP (and the other two OPs I mentioned) have communicated is that when their children are bullied by black children it becomes not just an issue of bullying but an issue of blackness. Because of the actions of a few badly-behaved children they choose to associate black faces with aggression and bullying (would they do the same if the bullies were white? Of course not). Understandably, I find this offensive.

If someone posted that they didn't want their privately educated child to move to a comprehensive school where they'd have to mix with lower-class children there would be outrage, wouldn't there?

If this weren't an issue of skin colour, what LadyE should have said in her ridiculous OP was that her son is moving to a school where some of the bullies will be going and she's worried.

MMH, My OP was not and is not ridiculous. For the record and I will type this slowly so you can understand a little easier as you seem to be having difficulty.

The school he is in is 95% black
the school he has been offered a place at is probably 85% black

I want him to go to a school where he is not the minority, therefore it is about just that and nothing else.

There are some of the bullies have also been offered a place at the same secondary school. hence my concerns tripling.

LadyE, all of what you've repeated in your last post has been perfectly clear all along. It seems that you haven't understood my point, as you still haven't answered it (and this is exactly what makes your OP so ridiculous): if the problem was to do with bullying and the quality of the school, why on earth didn't you say that in the first place? By making it instead an issue of skin colour, ethnic mix, etc (as stated clearly both in your OP and later on) you were effectively implying that black people are bullies. Don't you consider that to be offensive?

There. Two questions awaiting your reply.

By the way, I am not the only person to have raised this issue on this thread, but you appear to be ignoring it.

YABU because the honest truth is that if the school was predominantly white with only a handful of black children, you would not have posted.

I never understand why it is acceptable for schools to be predominantly white but once they are predominantly non-white, they are seen as a problem.

I'm black and my school (girls)was predominantly white and the girls that fell pregnant before 16yo were all white. I don't recall a max exodus of black parents.

MrsMerryHenry, it irks me also how the actions of a few black people are used to taint all black people.

But we know it does. Thats why our kids have to make sure they behave better than their white peers. If my son is with a group of his mates and they misbehave who is going to be picked out and remembered?
'There was a tall black boy with dreadlocks'

Not paranoia - life.

i live in a mansion in million pound area and my child is the only black one am i bothered no-lets start that that thread hey shall we.
my nephew in devon is the only black person in his school is he bothered no-this is earth with no borders anymore , what are the real issues its not about colour

I have already said i would not want him in an all white school and did move him at the age of 4 for this reason.

Hoochie - don't hold your breath. I think it's clear that LadyE is trying extremely hard to avoid answering those questions. I can't be bothered with this thread any more; the OP has clearly allowed herself to become prejudiced against black people because of the actions of a few children. If she wants to be intelligent about it, she will do so in her own time.

I was waiting for a response too but then saw a squadron of pigs fly past so gave up.

hey, I saw those too!

But you're too late. He's been allocated the school now, school allocations are done. So even if you move... that's his place now for September (unless you appeal, and win).

If you move, he'll likely still have to go to school number 1 in september, until/unless enough people drop out of school number 2 that he gets to the top of the waiting list.

The problem is to do with the lack of ethnic mix, bullies moving to the same school and the quality of the school.

how is that offensive?

"The bullies, well some of them are going to the school he has been offered a place at hence the reason for not wanting him to go there, I cannot change the fact that the bullies are black and the area is predominantly black."

This is what you said earlier, LadyE. The first part of the sentence is fine. The second? Why the hell does it make a difference that "the bullies are black"?? So if the bullies were white you'd be happy to send your DS to that same school?

Hoochie, i do have children to take care of and therefore am not on here 24/7.

MMH, You are trying to pick an argument well i am not biting. at the end of the day i do not want ds1 going to a predominantly black or white school i have said that many times.

Exactly, MrsMM. I don't understand why she needed to relate the two unless the emphasis was on the fact that the bullies are black.

What I want to know, if you do manage to move your DS to a school with fewer black children and he is then bullied by another race of children, will you move him again?