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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I want some honest opinions and I know most are on this subject at this time of night

159 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 17/04/2009 23:53

Ok ds1 is due to start secondary in September, for his entire schooling (so far) he has been the minority...being the only white child in his class and 1 of 4 in the entire school.

Most of the schools where I live are like this. BUT if i were to move 25 minutes away the schools are more of an even mix would this be wrong to do?

I am not racist at all, i have no room to be BUT i do want him to not only mix with black children.

It would mean either moving now and getting him to school every day or waiting until the schools break up and then moving ready for september.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 18/04/2009 00:20

Chelles the school was the local school for the children who were expelled from other schools in the past, it changed its name 3 years ago but the gcse pass results are not brilliant either...another reason i am seriously considering moving.

OP posts:
CKelpie · 18/04/2009 00:20

I would agree that you need to move for the new academic year.

Find a school with a good report that DS does want to go to.

Good luck.

controlfreakythecontrolfreak · 18/04/2009 00:21

i still dont get it op... why not just want the best school for him, one that will best suit him, whatever that is. why make it about race??

Nancy66 · 18/04/2009 00:22

Take race out of the equation and make your udgement on the standard of education only.

My little nephew goes to school in Lewisham (SE London.) He is one of only a handful of white kids there - but the school is brilliant and he loves it, in which case, how can mixing with other colours/races do anything other than enrich his life?

Chellesgirl · 18/04/2009 00:22

Thelady... you should say that at the beginning of your post then. But there is no difference between me and you wanting a mix of races, its just I wouldnt have a problem with an all black school/white school. The problem comes down to the teaching and the learning. Why was it your last choice?

steviesgirl · 18/04/2009 00:23

I think a lot of posters on here have failed to see your point, and instantly jumped onto the racist assumption. Like you say, you're mixed raced. Why the hell would you be racist?

Chellesgirl · 18/04/2009 00:24

If you are so unhappy with the school, then maybe you should move...why does your ds want to go there?

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 18/04/2009 00:25

CFTCF, it is about both....the school is not a great school thats one reason i am considering moving, and the other is he will be one of the minority and I would like him to be in a school with many mixes rather than a school similar to the one he is in now where he is one of 4. I know I would feel the same if he was one of the majority and a black/chinese/indian child was in the minority, lets face it there are many cultures/races in this country and there must be schools with a better ratio of all.

OP posts:
Chellesgirl · 18/04/2009 00:26

yes id take race out of the equation too...as you have said its not academically great. Is there a high crime rate in the area?

Simplysally · 18/04/2009 00:26

If it's the reputation of the school that's bothering you then it's a legitimate worry. Personally the ethnic mix of any school would not bother me one iota since my dd mixes with a huge range of people both in and out of school anyway (not saying that your ds does not).

scottishmummy · 18/04/2009 00:26

but a school mix is drawn from the local community and catchment you cant rock up and say "oh bit o black,some mixed,some white"

it isn't multi-cultural pick n mix.it is your community.reflected by what you see on the high street etc.you live there you must have some clue what likely make up of schools are

what is causing consternation is your specific mention of black children

you didn't pitch this as crickey!didn't get my 1st choice school and am worried

that would draw different answers than wanting specific colour mix

Chellesgirl · 18/04/2009 00:27

Why was he refused from your first choice?Or 2nd etc..for that point?

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 18/04/2009 00:28

Chelles because it was the school all the trouble children were sent to BUT i was told I had to put another choice so i added it as a random if that makes sense. Not even considering for one millisecond he would get that and not the 1st or 2nd choices.

He doesn't want to go there..I already said that. He wants to go to another school....I could appeal but..still not gaurentee

OP posts:
Bonneville · 18/04/2009 00:28

TheLady - in the other thread you say your son has been bullied at his current school. If he went to his allocated school in September would he be with all the bullies? If so I would definitely move.

muggglewump · 18/04/2009 00:29

Well, I wouldn't want DD to be in a minority but at the same time, I hate that she is growing up knowing only white people, and only white scottish people at that, white english people are to be mocked. Gah I hate it.
I have stamped out any racism, even suggestions of it that have come into our house but I hate that DD will pick it up and I (as an English person), will be a target.

Chellesgirl · 18/04/2009 00:29

Yes i was about to say appeal.

blossomsmine · 18/04/2009 00:30

Yeah, you hit the nail on he head, for me anyway, sm. Like me saying, i would prefer to have a big mix of kids at my dc's school, but we rarely say any other face on the streets than a white one. Where are the 'mix' supposed to come from lol! God, i amaze myself sometime with my stupidity!

Yes, like mentioned, i would have been checking ofsted and gcse results if the results are bad then you do have something to think about.

Chellesgirl · 18/04/2009 00:31

So you have to appeal, as they obviously have too many children going to the 1st and 2nd choice schools. Did you apply late? How far are you from 1st/2nd? Is last choice just because you are closer to it?

blossomsmine · 18/04/2009 00:31

MW, why are white English people to be mocked?? Am i showing my stupidity again..??

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 18/04/2009 00:32

Chelles we were on holiday and missed the deadline for returning the forms...I had sent them in but they had got waylayed in the post. So I had assumed the were there ontime but because i was away I didn't recieve the letter until the week after the deadline when i got a letter to say they had not recieved it. So 1st n 2nd choices were gone by then...as it got processed as a late applicant.
It actually turned up 3 days after the deadline.

OP posts:
tigerdriver · 18/04/2009 00:33

LadyES

I just think you shd do what you think + is right for your DC.

We live in a v white caucasian rural area, every single school has one or two non-cotswoldian families, so ethnic mix isnt really an issue unless I were deliberately to moved into a city (which wont happen). Do what you want to do and dont do what you think other people say they would do.

Chellesgirl · 18/04/2009 00:34

theres the answer. Id still appeal, and if you dont get anywhere, you ds can be transfered if another child drops out. Sometimes happens.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 18/04/2009 00:34

Bonne yes he is bullied at current school and yes some of these are also going to the same secondary school if they were not I would give the school a chance but.....

OP posts:
Nancy66 · 18/04/2009 00:36

If you're unhappy and your son is unhappy and he is being bullied - is there a racist element to the bullying ? - then, yes, move.

I don't think you sound racist BTW, just a concerned parent.

Chellesgirl · 18/04/2009 00:36

and if your ds says he wants to go there, then maybe let him, if nothing else hapepens. Get him some extra teaching lessons outside of school to make sure he doesnt fall behind with his studies.And get him into extra curricular activities after school/wknd etc... to mix with different races.

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