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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I want some honest opinions and I know most are on this subject at this time of night

159 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 17/04/2009 23:53

Ok ds1 is due to start secondary in September, for his entire schooling (so far) he has been the minority...being the only white child in his class and 1 of 4 in the entire school.

Most of the schools where I live are like this. BUT if i were to move 25 minutes away the schools are more of an even mix would this be wrong to do?

I am not racist at all, i have no room to be BUT i do want him to not only mix with black children.

It would mean either moving now and getting him to school every day or waiting until the schools break up and then moving ready for september.

OP posts:

Bonneville · 18/04/2009 00:38

How awful. Is he being bullied because he is the only white child?

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 18/04/2009 00:39

Chelles he really doesn't need extra tutoring, he is doing excellently in school lol. He doesn't want to go there he wants to go to another school.

Nancy

I copied this from my other thread...saves me typing it all out again...sorry late and lazy

he is not happy in his current school and has been the victim of bullying on and off for most of his schooling. Always by the same 6 children. He has been the victim (i hate that word by the way) of an attack where a child said to him "you bought your shoes in Poland" where my grandad came from and he replied "Haha So what you bought yours in africa"
The child attacked him and punched him all down one side of his head and face, I ended up keeping him off of school for 4 weeks as I felt the school had not dealt with the incident. And when I did speak to the school the following morning the head teachers attitude was "well he obviously did something to instigate it" hmmm so both children making a similar comment was cause?

Even the lunches are catering for the ethnic children, they have no english dishes...jerk chicken cajun chicken, pattie in a wrap etc

I just want him to have an even mix of cultures/races around him and not be in the minority. And Nor would I be happy if it was a predominantly (sp) white school.

OP posts:

blossomsmine · 18/04/2009 00:41

I didn't know about your other thread that is very sad

I can see why you are worried.

Nancy66 · 18/04/2009 00:43

that is awful. I understand why you don't want to send him to a school with the same kids.

Simplysally · 18/04/2009 00:44

Bullies will crop up in any school though . It's not a reason not to opt for another school based on your subsequent posts though.

If you are unhappy with the prospective school as it is then do appeal against the outcome of your application. Is there a 3rd school in reach which fits your criteria?

Chellesgirl · 18/04/2009 00:45

hahha jerk chicken yum.....but i hear you.

So to round it off...

You are concerned...you want ds to go to a decent school, with a mix of all cultures. A school with high acedemic progress and high quality teaching as well as decent lunches.

Ds id clever enough and needs to go to a school to cater for him. He has been bullied and risks being again.

Id move. Seriously. Now you tell the whole story, after so many posts I feel you are just wanting what is right for ds. Do it. I know it may be hard and not far off from sept, but move and get him into a good school, one where hell be happy. It may be a good idea too for him to start a fresh as being in the same catchment area can still lead to the bullies finding him...

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 18/04/2009 00:45

So you see I am not racist, but i do not want him going through the next 6 yrs of schooling with the children who bully him and yes they are black and they are going to the school he has been allocated a place at.

As for afterschool activities, he is not a sporty child he is in the choir and math club which he really loves. He has recently taken part in a music festival at the royal albert hall and they did very very well!!!

OP posts:

Chellesgirl · 18/04/2009 00:46

"He does not want to go to the local school tbh and that is HIS choice not mine..."
Sorry i mistook this fro being the local school as in the one you wanted him to go to.
apologies.

DandyLioness · 18/04/2009 00:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 18/04/2009 00:48

I guess it is partly my fault he is bullied as I taught him violence is wrong and so therefore he doesn't hit back, and the only time he did...he got in trouble so much at school he missed 2 weeks of play and lunchtimes. allowed to eat and then sit outside the office....hell the school were lucky i never went there lol....

He is not a bad kid i know i sound off about his behaviour towards me but he is a good boy really and I don't want him to suffer at the hands of bullies anymore.

OP posts:

tigerdriver · 18/04/2009 00:48

I shd forget any PC thing people say re racism and just fight as hard as you can to get him into a school without bullies. Sorry have nothing useful to add but this isnt a race issue it's an issue about getting ur kid into the school you think you eant him to be in.

Apolgs for txt spk but too late too bthr

Chellesgirl · 18/04/2009 00:49

I never thought you were being racist. Ive met racist people, and you aint one of them. Being concerned about your childs welfare and education is not the same as being predjudice and racist.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 18/04/2009 00:50

OHHHH Tiger good Job he has taught me text talk eh lol xx

OP posts:

Chellesgirl · 18/04/2009 00:52

Its not your fault he is being bullied. If you taught him violence is ok, then I would expect for him to go to the local school meant for trouble makers. The bullies are right to go there.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 18/04/2009 00:53

Chelles thankyou.

I don't want my PFB to grow up lol...

god i gotta go through this again in years to come!!!

OP posts:

scottishmummy · 18/04/2009 00:53

nonetheless it is a tad clumsily composed OP

if the issues are educational attainment and bullying and overall welfare.fair enough

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 18/04/2009 00:54

But I should have taught him to defend himself...mind you I wasted money on karate and tai kwando for him...i was more involved than he was lol

OP posts:

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 18/04/2009 00:55

Scottish and the fact I want him to go to a school where there is an even mix of races not just one...Sorry thats not being racist its being realistic in todays society.

OP posts:

Chellesgirl · 18/04/2009 00:56

SM pretend these kids were puple faced or blue. And see whether race would come into it. Dont slate her for how she composed the thread..its done. If you read all the posts by her then youd know its not race thats bothering her but her childs health overall.

tigerdriver · 18/04/2009 00:56

eant - want.

Arrrgh

I think you shouldn't agonise and do what you think is right, Everyone else will take it for your decision

Chellesgirl · 18/04/2009 00:59

Thelady...If i was you id have gone to the school and F*** those little kids up big time. Its not just black kids that think they can get away with murder these days its the majority of ALL kids. If my dd was to be bullied the school wouldnt hear the last of me. Im not into these parents who listen to thier kids when they say 'please mom dont say anything'. Why make them suffer in silence. Once the little shits are out in the open, they aint running from no one.

scottishmummy · 18/04/2009 01:00

there you go again "even mix" of races?you want a quota system or something

schools can only draw from catchment/applicants etc.fo yousuggest they admit on a pro rata basis until enough "even mix"

something about your posts is uncomfortable.perhaps this need for a perceived mix/balance.are you implying allocated school is too black- wrong mix

Chellesgirl · 18/04/2009 01:00

Well they might, they just wont be able to hide!

Chellesgirl · 18/04/2009 01:03

shes implying that the school has the bullies that bullied her ds going to it...nothing else and its a crap school.

scottishmummy · 18/04/2009 01:05

nice to see you answering for someone else!habitually this returns to race/mix/composition of school as LES posts

maybeshe can answer fir herself next time chelles.without you,eh

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