to think that piercing your baby's ears is wrong wrong wrong?!

[CrackopentheBaileys]

I have a dd 15months, and my il's wont shut up about getting her ears pierced, it's driving me mad!

I think it's just awful, not the look as such but putting them through that needless pain!

Il's continually joke that they will 'take her for a walk to the shops' and wink at eachother..... I know they wont do it but it unnerves me a little tbh. (FWIW, my philosiphy is that when she is old enough to really want it done, and ask for it to be done, I will let her have them)

It's double standards to the extreme, getting all upset when they have their injections, nearly bloody crying and making a big fuss. Then popping them into town to have metal rods rammed through their ears!

I just don't get it!

There is a lady who lives in my street, she has a DD and a DS, one day I was on the bus and she was signing and talking along (she is deaf so signs along to help you understand) when she pointed to her DS about 4YO and pulled back his hair (a mullet with the back dyed purple) and showed me his ear he had a small hoop in it.

She told me she did it herself when he was 2 weeks old and she said her mum gave him a bottle to distract him (or keep him quiet as she put it) whilst mimicking holding him straight across her thighs and a needle through his ear.

She then pointed at her DD about 9 and again hair dyed purple and blonde, said she also did the same to her at about 2 weeks old.

I honestly did'nt know what to say.

I would'nt say pierced ears in children are chavvy (I hate that word, the definition is what?) but I would say that it does mainly seem to be younger mums who do it though, I think a lot of it is sadly the fact that they have a new doll to dress up.

I think it should be banned under 5 personally.

fulltimeworkingmum what do you mean "whatever that means"? And yes, that's my point, you think it looks grotesque but it's not thought of as grotesque in many places outside of the UK.

I would'nt say it looks grotesque, I do think little studs can be cute on a toddler but IMO it's the reasoning behind it that gets me the whole wanting them to look pretty and the shock the poor mites must go through yes maybe just for a minute but it's not nice.

If it's a cultural thing then fair enough but just to makeyour child look pretty then no, it's not worth the hassle but each to their own and all.

Macoco I did wonder about that too

'whatever that means'

sounds a bit like a daft insult or something.

Yes I think it's an attempt at an insult about my nickname.
So a lot of people agree with you on this thread that ear piercing is "grotesque"? Well virtually the whole of Spain would disagree. You think it's grotesque? Fine, don't pierce your child's ears. I happen to live in a country where it is the norm and I don't think it's barbaric, a little odd perhaps but not child abuse or anything of the sort. That's all I'm saying.

fulltimeworkingmum could always look up her nearest English/Spanish dictionary to find out the meaning of macaco.

I wouldn't pierce my DD ears but that's my choice. She doesn't want it done and I won't let her if she changes her mind until she's old enough to know for sure she really wants it. I was 12 when I had mine done, which is a good age I think.

back home in the old days you take your tiny baby girl to an old lady who has done many babies in the past. When the baby goes into a deep sleep that they don't wake easily from, they slowly pass the needle through the ear. they then put the stud in after. the baby doesn't wake up.

i'm sure there are still old heads at home doing this.

my mum had my older sister done but when she got home my dad kicked up a fuss so she didn't do the rest of us. I think dad only fussed because mum didn't tell him first that she was having them done. macho culture and all.

so i did my own ears as a teen of about 14. it didn't hurt doing it slowly to myself.

Macaco is the meaning of your name really 'Ugly'?

It sounds like such a beautiful word to me

Foxy if that's how they do it then I have no problems at all with it.

My mum spoke just enough Spanish when she had me in South America to decline ear piercing when I was a day old. I was constantly called a boy and as a child I did feel really different and left out when every other girl had her ears pierced. So a similar experience to what pripisipi is trying to avoid with her DD (sorry that's totally wrong but I can't find your name quickly! Apologies!)

As I grew up in cultures where ear piercing on girls is the norm, I think it looks nice, because our concepts of beauty/disgust are culturally determined and shaped.

I do, however understand all the arguments against it, and don't think I would do it myself if I had a DD in the UK (find it hard enough taking DS for immunisations) But I remember feeling like an ugly extranjera (foreigner) who looked like a boy!!

foxytocin that's really interesting. Wow, you were brave (and steady handed!) to pierce your own ears like that at 14!

mamadiva macaco means macaque! Right, macaco ? Your views on pierced ears on babies are very similar to my own actually, especially before I came here to Spain and found myself making the difficult decision to get my dd's ears pierced for cultural reasons.

MamacitaGordita soo interesting to hear about your childhood experience with this! I was so sick already of people saying my dd was a "lovely boy" and calling her "hombre" as in "Que pasa, hombre?"!!!! She's an 11 month old baby girl, not an "hombre" ffs! Plus it doesn't help that I don't dress her in pink frilly stuff. I guess I'm scarred from my mum not allowing me to have long hair or dresses and being called a boy until my teen years, so I want to avoid that trauma for my dd! I know you shouldn't make decisions like this based on what people on the street say, but I have to admit it was a factor. More important than that was imagining her starting school and realising that all the other girls have them, and there was no bloody way I was taking a 3 year old to get her ears pierced!! You're soo right about our concepts of beauty/disgust being culturally determined and shaped. I used to think pierced ears on babies was "disgusting", but after several years in Latin America in Spain I think it looks normal, and pretty. Are your ears pierced now? When did you get them done?

Had to listen to 2 separate babies wailing yesterday in Claire's and i have to say there were more than a few people giving the mums disapproving looks.

One woman said to me "i think its wrong and shouldnt be done till the child is much older"

Have to say that i agree with them. I just dont think its necessary to put your child through pain just to let everyone know that your child is a girl!

I think its awful too.
I think its wrong because babies pull and play with things, they could easily pull the backs off and swallow them.
Other children could pull at them and rip the ear lobe (which I have had to help to stitch back up).
Pain that isn't consented to for no good reason is ABH in my view and it should be illegal to pierce ears of children not old enough to consent to it.

mamadiva oh dear me, fnar fnar fnar! Here in Spain the only meaning of macaco is as pispirispis says macaque as in a monkey. In Latin America it might mean ugly but it's a bit like nappy and diaper, or less actually as I don't think any Spaniard would be aware of any other meaning.
Also because this was something I listened to and LOVED when I was pregnant.

I have to agree with pispirispis (what does your name mean, by the way? I've often wondered.) I used to think it was a very strange thing to do but since I've lived here I think it actually looks pretty. I've never heard of a Spanish baby ripping their earrings out and I think all this about actual bodily harm is really going a bit far. Ok, so they don't consent and it's not necessary but pispirispis can attest that it hurts for a minute. If it means they fit into the society they live in I think that's important for them. Don't under estimate how it feels to be the odd one out. For me, that would outweigh the momentary discomfort of having them done.

LOL I did google it, must've done it wrong LOL oops

Well now I know still ythink it's a funky word though

Id never do it to my dd, i had to wait till i was 15 and was SO excited to have it done!
Studs are really uncomfortable to sleep in at 1st, poor lil babies! Not to mention they can get itchy and infected and babies cant speak to tell an adult whats wrong, just to make them look "cute". My babies dont need peircings to look cute

I am waiting for the day that a girl/woman sues her parents and/or the piercing place for piercing her ears as a baby. I suspect it's technically illegal - it's an invasive procedure and parents are consenting to something that is not in the baby's best interests and has definite risks. It would make for a really interesting court case.

It's also very tacky, of course.

thanks for the positive responses to my post below. i don't think i would ever haul my baby into Claire's for a teenager to pierce her ears.

i was in the Middle East with dd2 (tiny baby) and everyone thought she was a 'he' because of unpierced ears. out there it is done in hospitals and clinics.

i used to envy all my school friends for having pierced ears while growing up.

Kat, would love to know what this 'deal' was you made with dh, which means you have to agree with his circumsicion.

I would leave my husband rather than make a 'deal' with him to needlessley anaesthetise and then mutilate my son.

Get a backbone woman.

macaco pispirispis is a word used in Colombia and it's the stars that you see when you're dizzy and that float around the heads of cartoon characters when they get hit by a mallet or whatever. Love the song btw!

Yes, as you say, the pain lasted a minute or so, she stopped crying in the chemist's and by the time we were at the park, about 5 mins later, she went straight into her pram and started pointing at the kids and dogs.

Yes foxy I was about to write the same as you - there's no way I would have hauled my dd into Claire's either! We went to a chemist's in my village where there's a lovely chemist who has pierced hundreds of babies ears and they had a special room and everything. They had special tiny baby studs and he was so relaxed and gentle with us, lol!

Not sure what difference it actually makes that it was a nice posh chemists in a quaint Spanish village and not Claire's in a shoppng centre in the UK, lol! Does it make me a snob?

There's no way I would have got my dd's ears pierced in the UK, although I don't think it's abusive or cruel, obviously. Actually I would prefer her ears weren't pierced, as I said before, I decided to get them done in order for her to fit in with her peers. And I don't regret it, it's no big deal imo.

Anyway, I'm sure you're all bored with me going on about my dd and her bloomin' ears! I think shergar made a really interesting point about someone sueing over a situation like the one the OP's worried about. I'd be really livid if someone did something like that to my dd, and to me! It would be such an abuse of trust! I hope the OP manages tyo get her ILs to understand that she doesn't like the jokes and that there's NO WAY they can take her dd to get her ears pierced behind her back.

pispirispis That's a brilliant word! Yes, i do love Macaco. I love the whole album, makes me think of summer especially somos luz and hilo y aguja. and the latest album's good too.