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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that piercing your baby's ears is wrong wrong wrong?!

196 replies

CrackopentheBaileys · 16/04/2009 20:47

I have a dd 15months, and my il's wont shut up about getting her ears pierced, it's driving me mad!

I think it's just awful, not the look as such but putting them through that needless pain!

Il's continually joke that they will 'take her for a walk to the shops' and wink at eachother..... I know they wont do it but it unnerves me a little tbh. (FWIW, my philosiphy is that when she is old enough to really want it done, and ask for it to be done, I will let her have them)

It's double standards to the extreme, getting all upset when they have their injections, nearly bloody crying and making a big fuss. Then popping them into town to have metal rods rammed through their ears!

I just don't get it!

OP posts:

Thunderduck · 16/04/2009 21:10

You are feeling brave Ka, admitting that. We had a 16 page thread about that before. I can't remember if you were the Op though.

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/04/2009 21:10

YANBU

it looks horrible and looks very common on babies/toddlers

why on earth would anyone want to hurt their baby when so young?

I have also seen a baby have it done, and they are uncolsolable (sp) it does hurt, so why why why why why

plus you have the risk that they may pull them out/catch them - esp the chavvy hoops that you see some wear

if a child wants their ears peirced, then let them decide when they are 8+

I had my 1st lot at 10/11 and my dad had to agree to it and 2nd lot behind my parents back at 15

i wear one small hoop and a diamond stud in both ears

Thunderduck · 16/04/2009 21:10

Kat sorry.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 16/04/2009 21:13

Thunderduck - are you talking to me? I haven't started a thread on circumcision, I'm not looking for anyone's opinion TBH I don't like it either, but it's part of a deal we made

Wigglesworth · 16/04/2009 21:15

YANBU, vile it's one of my pet hates, baby girls with ear piercings.

fidelma · 16/04/2009 21:17

It is wrong wrong wrong and very tacky

nannyL · 16/04/2009 21:19

YANBU

i have made the decidion never ever to pierce mutilate my own body and am delighted my mother didnt override my right to have ears without holes in.

there is no way i would ever allow my child to be pierced and even if they wanted to i wouldnt consent until they were at least teeneagers

it makes me cross that piercers pierce innocent babies

catsmother · 16/04/2009 21:20

It's tasteless pointless and cruel.

Apart from the initial pain (which you can at least explain to an older child) how do you stop a baby tugging at the earrings (well, I suppose if it hurt they'd stop, but maybe not before they'd done some unintentional damage the very 1st time) ?

supergluebum · 16/04/2009 21:21

A while ago whilst looking at pictures of my colleagues daughter, and pregnant with my DD at the time (I knew she was a girl) I gasped in amazement that she had pierced ears. And my colleague looked at me and said of course! My colleague is from Sri Lanka and it's totally normal to her and her family that little girls have pierced ears. It's (I think, please someone correct me if I'm wrong) an initial display of family wealth. At least a tradition. Perfectly normal in her families culture. I was shocked, and wouldn't do it myself....it was weird. I have to be honest to see a baby girl with her earrings. They were tiny gold studs though. But I didn't get mine done until I was 18. My fear now is at what age will my DD ask me if she can have hers done?

Thunderduck · 16/04/2009 21:22

No, not trying to change your mind. Just thought you had guts to post about in here, particuarly if you'd been the OP of the thread that rapidly became 16 pages.

Hux · 16/04/2009 21:22

I have to work myself up to take my DD for her injections. I can't stand the fact that it is going to hurt her but i know it's the best thing i can do for her.

How the hell people can hurt them that much for a bit of metal is totally beyond me.

I have a wise mother who said when i was 16 i could do what i liked but before then there was no way i could get them pierced- by 16 i quite liked the fact i didn't have them done and the thought of the pain totally put me off!

Thunderduck · 16/04/2009 21:24

It's possibly she might never ask. I had my ears pierced. not that I wanted them done, at 3, that lasted a few weeks before I took them out. I've never had my ears pierced since and I never will.

I realise that the majority of women like to have it done though, but it should be their decision when they are old enough to understand all that's involved.

Original poster

CrackopentheBaileys · 16/04/2009 21:24

Hulababy that made my stomach churn!

OP posts:

angelene · 16/04/2009 21:25

I absolutely hate it and think it's cruel, culturally or not.

TMI ALERT When I had mine done at about 14-ish I think, one of my ears swelled up hugely, the hole became massive and the earring became embedded inside the ear. I had to go to A&E to have it ripped out. Imagine that happening to a baby!

beanieb · 16/04/2009 21:25

It's like the people who are doing it somehow want to improve how their kid looks, that's just weird!

ravenAK · 16/04/2009 21:25

They aren't my ears, I don't get to pierce them. I really don't see what's so complicated!

I'm not against piercings (have a few of my own) & will probably be quite lax relaxed about the dc choosing them for themselves.

psychomum5 · 16/04/2009 21:25

my neice had her ears pierced at 6wks(well, my SIL had her DD's ears pierced I should say), as it is her culture to pierce baby girls ears very tiny..........she is from prague.

I am not a fan I must admit, but then I did allow my girls to have theirs done at 4yrs old when they asked, which to many is also too early.

girls ear piercing is a very emotive subject and no-one will agree.

Thunderduck · 16/04/2009 21:26

That must have really hurt Angelene.

Lilyloo · 16/04/2009 21:26

hulababy and why would you do that to a baby ??

My dd 4 has mentioned how old you have to be to have your ears pierced. I said a lot older about 8 however she points out others her age who have had it done

Hulababy · 16/04/2009 21:30

I also had nasty infected ears the first time I had my ears pierced, aged 10y.

I took DD with me when I had my ears repierced when she was about 4y. She took one look at the expression on my face when it was done and has vowed never to have hers done - that was 3 years ago and she still remembers

I don't get the cultural arguement. You can argue lots of things are cultural - but it doesn't make them right does it?

supergluebum · 16/04/2009 21:33

Thunderduck you are right, I have so often bought a gift of earrings for friends without realising they didn't have pierced ears. That said my dad was so adamant (stand and deliver - sorry private joke with friends) that I would not be allowed to have mine done, that I did go out on my 18th birthday and get them done. Imagine my annoyance when a week later my 14 year old sister and 40 year old mum go off and do theirs "because it looks so nice!"

TheBolter · 16/04/2009 21:34

Oh I just think it's horrible. Really vile and so unattractive. Children are beautiful as they naturally are, they don't need ornamentation.

I wasn't allowed my ears pierced until I was 'old enough to wear make up' which was about thirteen. I know that's quite old to some people but I'm quite pleased now that I was made to wait. Children do grow up too quickly. I saw having my ears pierced as a mark of becoming a woman!

angelene · 16/04/2009 21:37

Thunderduck it wasn't too bad the first time, they sprayed it with some anaesthetic stuff which I inhaled a bit of so wigged out a bit

However, I let it die down completely (took months, went around with one earring for ages, the shame) and got it done again, same thing happened.

This time they didn't get the anaesthetic spray out and just pulled it - it did bloody hurt.

scarletlilybug · 16/04/2009 21:39

I see it as a form of culturally-sanctioned child abuse. Absolutely no justification for it, IMO.

chegirl · 16/04/2009 21:41

I hate it and I am a bit of a chav TBH.

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