to think that piercing your baby's ears is wrong wrong wrong?!

[CrackopentheBaileys]

I have a dd 15months, and my il's wont shut up about getting her ears pierced, it's driving me mad!

I think it's just awful, not the look as such but putting them through that needless pain!

Il's continually joke that they will 'take her for a walk to the shops' and wink at eachother..... I know they wont do it but it unnerves me a little tbh. (FWIW, my philosiphy is that when she is old enough to really want it done, and ask for it to be done, I will let her have them)

It's double standards to the extreme, getting all upset when they have their injections, nearly bloody crying and making a big fuss. Then popping them into town to have metal rods rammed through their ears!

I just don't get it!

Pierced ears on children especially babies look very age appropriate imo.
It is also easier to accessorise an outfit.

YABVU not to have also posted this on style to get some idea of the type of earrings that would suit your daughter (statement jewellery is big this season)

Dead classy . Babies are pretty enough without piercing them with gold.

Well YANBU. Regardlress of age it should be up to you to mak the decision, not your in-laws.

When Dd was 5 she wanted her ears pierced and I said I was not confortable with it yet and she would have to wait.

Summer arrives, we go on holiday to SIL. We have a conversation and talk about ear piercing I say my point of view, DD to young.... SIL sais here they do it very early and I reply that I do not care how early they do it I just do NOT want DD to have her ears pierced YET!

2 day later DD goes with SIL to buy bread and comes back with her ears pierced! I was livid!

Its looks awful doesn't it. Cheap, tacky and common. And an earring on a little boy is even worse.

It may look tacky to all of you lot in the UK but it is culturally acceptable in many other countries, e.g Spain. Little spanish girls don't seem to have any trouble with infections/pulling the earrings out etc.
I don't personally think it's cruel. No more painful than a vaccination. And having lived here for many years I think it looks quite pretty.
Mumsnet can be terribly UK centric and snooty middle class sometimes. Have none of you ever been anywhere else?

Oh, and as regards the OP, if you don't approve then tell your PILs that you don't approve and it's your decision.

My DD (age 9) has been nagging me for ages to have her ears pierced (like all her friends). I have told her she has to wait until she is 13 and then she can decide if she wants them done. We went on holiday with a couple who were talking about why they had their daughters ears pierced as babies and it was because they thought they looked pretty! (so a permanent scar for the parents benefit). I do not object to people who do this for cultural reasons - there are many worse traditions than ear piercing.

ninedragons is right (and many others) the issue here is not who is right regarding ear-piercing (and if I were living in Spain or similar I think I would do it to fit in too), the isue is that you ILs are planning on going against your wishes in something this permanent.

I wuold make it clear that if they take her to have it done you will take them out, and she will not be going anywhere with them for a long time (essentially they will be grounded). And make sure that DH is on your side with this, adn that they know he agrees with you.

Macaco - No Ive never been anywhere else , I dont actually live in the UK.

Vaccinations are essential IMO and ear piercing is not....that's the difference.

I know it can be a cultural thing but I just don't like it.

I can't really understand your point macaco, I am in the UK, my daughter is not spanish or Sri Lankan, so the topic is about an English little girl

It's cultural innit? Pick your cultural preferences and stick to 'em. I never think it's bad on little dark haired Spanish gypsy kids, but raise my Margo eyebrows when I see earrings on an English baby - I suppose class and all that too. Little Ralph Lauren models aren't pierced. Babies off the local estate can barely crawl for all the metal hanging off them.

Council estate that is - not stately home.

adoanie, I do agree with you, it is cultural which makes it VERY VERY difficult when your in-laws actually are from a dirfferent culture. What is ennoying is that we all can see there is a culturel difference, in my case, my SIL decided to completely ignore that differencr and go ahead anyway!

gorionine what did you do? I would have been furious!! Problem is, there's nothing you can actually do to change it eh

Gorionine - just saw your earlier thread. Yes she was wrong to do that - massively presumptuous knowing your feelings about it. Ignoring people's wishes isn't a cultural thing it's just bloody rude. Does she still have the earrings or have you whipped them out?

Christ Gorionine that is really awful

I would have been in tears as well as livid, what a horrible thing to do!

I personally wouldn't pierce a 2 year old, I think it's a bit young and would wait until 7 or 8, when the child really understood what was going on and could kick off if they really didn't want to. This is my personal decision even though I'd be considered a chav by many people (massive hoops, MacKenzie jacket etc).My godchildren are Irish travellers and they are both pierced, as are many of their relations, they also have gold chains. It's a decision for individual parents,but not my thing (I hate my kids having injections, the sudden pain and screaming, argh!)

Definitely think it is a very tacky look as is any jewellry on children. No need at all IMO.

I did not take the earrig off I as thought it would be "cruel" on DD as she has already been through the piercing. DD has not had an infection or anything, it is the the principle of "over ruling" the parent decision tha treally did not go down well!

I did let SIL know that it was out of order but for DH's sake who really vary rarely sees is family I decided against full blown screeming session. As someone pointed out before WRT PILS, I will think twice before letting my DCs go anywhere with SIL on our next holiday there, especially DD4 who will be 2 1/2 next time!

You are right that family relations are more important but SIL is a silly woman. Ah well...life goes on.

I think it's abuse. I think the same about circumcision. Fuck your 'cultural'/superstitious reasons. If it's your moron culture to spit in stranger's faces or keep slaves, you won't be allowed to do it, so why should you be allowed to cause pointless physical pain to your children?

of agreement

Funilly enough, DS has been circumcised but it is a totally different matter IMHO.

It's a cultural thing isn't it?

Friend had a baby girl in Africa a couple of years ago and they offered piercing baby's ears before discharge home. Apparently most baby girls have ears pierced at a few hours/days old.

Oh come on Macaco, lots of things are 'culturally acceptable', it doesn't make them right or even nice. Babies with pierced ears look awful no matter where they come from. It's cruel and unnecessary and there's nothing middle class about thinking that, it's common sense that you don't inflict unnecessary pain on your children.

And for the record, I've never known the Irish to pierce babies' ears, certainly no one in my family/friends has and I had to beg for mine to be done. Made up for it though