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AIBU?

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Original poster

Are people always fat because something is missing in their life?

158 replies

Pinkjenny · 08/04/2009 15:53

My mum is (once again) driving me mad. I have made a decision about my weight, and was discussing it with her just then on the phone. She said,"Why are you so greedy, is there something missing in your life? Are you unhappy?"

Now, this is a veiled dig about dh, who she doesn't like, and whom she believes makes me unhappy (he doesn't, but I'm past trying to convince her of this). I said, "Well, I've been yo-yoing for the past 12 years, are you saying I've been unhappy for 12 years?", and she said, "Well, have you?" I ended the conversation quickly after that.

FGS. I am fat because I overeat, mainly due to boredom, but she thinks that everything that ever bothers or upsets me is because of dh. Why can't she just support me instead of trying to psychoanalyse me?

AIBU?

OP posts:
dittany · 08/04/2009 19:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moondog · 08/04/2009 19:15

That's a lot of walking.
You can make a bowl of porridge in 5 mins or a peanut butter s'wich too.An omelette ready in minutes too. What about making a big pot of something and having it 2/3 nights on the run? I think people get overwhelmed thinknig they need to cook loads of complicated different things everyday and they don't.

Sorry, don't mean to lecture. Just that i wonder how people get into this mindset which must make you feel really shite.

fattiemumma · 08/04/2009 19:16

yes.
im missing someone to take the food out of my mouth.

KimiWantsAnEasterEgg · 08/04/2009 19:18

I comfort eat, I know that but on the whole I am fit and well.

I took my children swimming today and almost every child there was over weight one girl of about 14 was huge and was trying to float on the floats in the pool, she had 3 of them (she was a mean child who was snatching floats off of the younger children) any way she had 3 floats and was still sinking, maybe if she stopped grabbing other children off of the floats and tryed a spot of swimming instead of trying to float she may do herself some good.

compo · 08/04/2009 19:19

no I don't think so
people often put on the pounds when they are in a contented relationship and eating them same amount as their partner
they then become unhappy at the weight they put on so they eat more
well that's me anyway

compo · 08/04/2009 19:20

ooh Kimi miaow

MintyyAeroEgg · 08/04/2009 19:20

People are fat because they eat a tiny bit too much on a daily basis and end up fat 20 years later

they are fat because they have been on a diet since their early teens and yo yo'd ever since and fucked up their metabolism

they are fat because they have an underactive thyroid

they are fat because they are genetically pre-disposed to it

they are fat because they are addicted to sugar or wine or cheese or bread or McDonalds fries or sausage rolls or coca cola or ...

they are fat because to tell the truth they are just a bit lazy

they are fat because they are unhappy and compulsively overeat to fill a void

... I'm sure there are other reasons. But there are a myriad of reasons for fatness. It is incredibly complex. Its not all to do with depression.

Nighbynight · 08/04/2009 19:21

"something missing from your life" is such an annoying thing to say.

I overeat because when I have the tiniest bit of stress, I reach for food. One time when my company made a whole load of people redundant, I had to go away and eat a whole packet of Jaffa Cakes after they made the announcement

I am trying to change this, but unfortunately, I only manage to change it during stress free periods.

KimiWantsAnEasterEgg · 08/04/2009 19:23

No really it was sad to see, put aside the fact she was not a very nice child to the other kids who for the most part were haveing a lovely time floating about, DS2 is so light he looked like a frog sat on a lily pad, DS1 is at that puppy fat stage filled out now needs to go up, but he was swimming up and down in lanes

MintyyAeroEgg · 08/04/2009 19:24

I had a long phone call while I was typing out that post so thread's moved on a bit. But basically I agree with SGB.

TheHedgeWitch · 08/04/2009 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JuxaLOTmoreChocolate · 08/04/2009 19:42

I'm fat because I lack exercise.

paolosgirl · 08/04/2009 19:48

DH is fat because he does no exercise, he has a sedentary job, he eats too much and (as I found out recently) pops up the road for a pie at lunchtime. The only thing missing is willpower to do something about it (oh, and the heart attack, type 2 diabetes and cancer that he's heading towards sadly - the high blood pressure is already here).

Fat = too little exercise and too much of the wrong food. There may be all sorts of reasons why you get like that in the first place, but that's the end result.

JuxaLOTmoreChocolate · 08/04/2009 19:53

But doesn't popping up the road to buy a pie constitute exercise?

KimiWantsAnEasterEgg · 08/04/2009 20:00

First DH is getting very big, due to the amount of coke he puts away (the drink not the drug) His dad died of a stroke and his mum has had 2 very mild heart attacks and I worry myself sick over him, my dad died when I was 12 from a heart attack i do not want my sons to lose their dad, but He just says I am nagging if I say lose some weight

mrsruffallo · 08/04/2009 20:02

Why does your mum think he makes you unhappy?
Something must have happened

paolosgirl · 08/04/2009 20:07

That's what he tries to tell me, Juxa!

Mrs Miggins is always happy to see him - one of her best customers, he is

ssd · 08/04/2009 20:09

I'm fat because I comfort eat as something is missing in my life

maybe your mum meant me?

BonsoirAnna · 08/04/2009 20:57

"and it's not his responsibility to 'provide' fun and stimulation."

What a very odd way of thinking of your relationship. If he isn't fun to be with and his company isn't stimulating, what on earth are you with him for? It isn't his "responsibility" to provide it; it ought to be part of your relationship (or else your relationship will be very tedious indeed).

BonsoirAnna · 08/04/2009 20:58

It sounds very much to me as if you ought to listen to your mother a bit more

paolosgirl · 08/04/2009 21:06

Bonsoir, do you get some sort of kick out of stirring? Your posts on so many threads seem utterly pointless other than being a poor attempt at playing devils advocate.

BonsoirAnna · 08/04/2009 21:07

I don't stir, I say what I think (which is very different). And quite honestly, the OP is defending her DH far too much here!

noonki · 08/04/2009 21:11

starlight - you can just as easily eat an apple! (but you like me have probably got addictited to high fat/high sugar diet)

I am currently struggling to lose weight and my main problem is I view chocolate etc as a little treat to have during the day.

I also dont like the way I look, am not able to exercise much because of ill health and so 'give up' and eat more

I also always have an excuse (pregnant/breaksfeeding/sleepeless nights/working loads/depressed/ill and on and on)

paolosgirl · 08/04/2009 21:13

Well, maybe sometimes you should think before you speak - or "engage your brain" as my 11 year old says, because you really do come across as nothing more than a stirrer, and it's becoming rather tedious and predictable.

Why shouldn't the OP defend her dh - it's what we tend to do with our spouses on the whole! I presume you know neither of them in RL?

LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 08/04/2009 21:14

come and visit Auntie Lulu, you'll look thin next to me !!

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