Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to be annoyed that people are so negative about an August baby?

171 replies

KathrynAustin · 07/04/2009 08:34

DS2 was born end of August 2007.

After my fisrt scan we were thrilled and told everyone our due date of 27.08.07. I was pretty shocked when lots of people responded with "Oh no he/she will be the youngest in the year", "...they'll have problems at school etc etc".

Obviously none of this had occured to me and it was b**y annoying that everyone focused on it.

I have a colleague who planned coming off the pill so that her babies were born in September/October, so that they would be "...the cleverest in the class...". Arghhh.

I know that being the youngest DS2 will be up to a year behind some peers, but why don't we wait and see rather than label him now?

We go to weekly playgroups and the converstaion often turns to children's ages & birthdays. I've noticed that when asked I now say "Unfortunately he was born end of August..." before the mother can comment about our "bad timing".

My personal concerns are that at 4 years 1 month my eldest was still having the occasional accident, and the Mon-Fri in full-time school seem really long for a young child.

Our local primary has recently stopped staggered entry into Reception, so it is September for all.

Anyway, has anyone else encountered this? On a selfish note, 1 year less nursery fees is an attractive proposition!

Kathryn

OP posts:
brettgirl2 · 07/04/2009 08:37

My birthday is the 18th August, we had non staggered entry and I survived. FWIW my mother was more of the 'peace and quiet a whole year earlier than some' camp!

Yes, I was a year younger than some, but would it be a big difference if I had been born in July or June? Mum always says I was ready to go to school when I was 4 anyway.

My brother was November and was cleverer than me when we were young, but the gap narrowed as we got older anyway.

Pinkranger · 07/04/2009 08:41

My ds2 was also born on the 27th Aug 07 and i had the same reaction! My ds1 Birthday is in november so he is at the older end of his year buthe was ready for school about 6 months before he went, I DIDNT want my ds2 in September, he would be bored stiff not a school for that extra time

Casserole · 07/04/2009 08:44

I think YABU to expect people not to have thought the August thing through and made decisions you didn't about timings etc.... but I definitely don't think you're being unreasonable to expect them to keep those opinions to themselves in your company!!!

I have worked in education and so was aware of the research etc in that area... so for me it WAS something I took into account when we were deciding when to try.

However, I have 2 friends who are pregnant and due in August this year and I'm keeping very schtum on my perspective in their company. It's really none of my business what choices they make, it's also too late to do anything about it now and lastly, I'm sure there are bigger factors in play as to whether a child succeeds in school than that.

On the fence enough for you?!?

LadyMuck · 07/04/2009 08:47

Are you more concerned that people flag it up as a problem, or that it is a problem? Certainly it does seem to be the case that a number of summer-born boys do struggle with starting school so young - it is a frequent comment on here. So it is as well that at least you are aware that it may be an issue. But obviously loads of summer-born boys do well at school too.

If it is the comment that bothers you I'd find a comeback - "At least we can always party in the garden" or something. If it is the early start to school and being the youngest in the year, well someone always is the youngest, and how you deal with that depends on part on your parenting style as well as the personality of the child.

LilRedWG · 07/04/2009 08:49

If it helps, I went to school with someone whos birthday was 30th August. She was clever, articulate and did excellently at school, college and university and is now a teacher. I'd say the only thing she did struggle with was social maturity.

traceybath · 07/04/2009 08:51

Well i'm august and ds1 is also august and currently in reception.

He's doing fine so my anecdotal evidence is don't worry too much - it really does depend a lot on the child.

Also for all those trying to get pregnant at certain times - well it took me nearly 2 years and i wouldn't have cared when he was eventually born.

Oh and september children quite often find it pretty hard when all their friends from nursery/pre-school all go off to school and they have another year to do.

Tiggiwinkle · 07/04/2009 08:51

My DS4 was born on 29th August. He is 15 now and has always been one of the highest achievers in his year. He already has some GSCSEs which he passed when he was 14. A September birthday is no guarantee of academic achievement!

My DS2 also has an August Birthday and also did very well academically. Both had only one term in reception and then moved up to Year one with no problems. (There was an Easter intake then).

TrillianEAstraEgg · 07/04/2009 08:51

I really think it's not as big a deal a peple make it out to be. Yes, August babies will be a year younger than some, but they will be only a few months younger than most.

It does get annoying at sixth-form when everyone else in the year is 18 and you all get asked for ID

Your 'friend' being so smug that her child will be the cleverest in the year? Clearly not. Intelligence is far more about genetics and upbringing than about being a few months older or younger, and if she was likely to have the 'cleverest child in the year' then she would have figured this out.

Babieseverywhere · 07/04/2009 08:54

I have two August babies (plus my mother, sister, fil, and two DN's birthdays)and they are fab....think of all the future birthays to be taken in the summer holidays...outside sunny parties

They don't have to be the youngest in their school year, you don't need to educate them until they are 5, so they can go to school the year later if needs be.

August birthday's are to be celebrated just the same as a birthday at any time of the year.

August birthdays rock

LittleMissBliss · 07/04/2009 08:54

I have planned this babies birth so that it would fall after August, it will be early Oct late September.

For the reason that He/she will be the eldest in her class. Ds is a November baby.

From my experience all my friends who were born between September and Feb seemed to do allot better at school that the ones born in summer of course there are exceptions to the rule. Septemebr babies can struggle and August babies can excell.

I do know that not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to plan their pregnancies like this. After all a baby is just as wonderfull what ever time of year they are born plus you get to have lovely summer parties outside! very of that!

I wouldn't worry really, i'm sure you will continue to get the same comments about ds's birthday being in August, just because it has been proven that August babies can struggle in the first few years especially, which is understandabe with the age difference. But allot catch up pretty quickly. You can't do anything about it i would just say to the winter mums 'but we are so looking forward to all his outdoor parties!'

EdwardCullensWife · 07/04/2009 08:54

The hardest part is having to send your tiny just-turned-four-year-old off to school when they seem to young. but apart from that DS1 has had no major problems at school (he was born mid-August). He's doing better than some of the older children in his class.

EdwardCullensWife · 07/04/2009 08:56

A friend of a friend planned her baby so he would be born in September and therefore be one of the oldest in his year. But - the baby came early and ended up being one of the youngest. I can't help but smile at that.

tkband3 · 07/04/2009 08:58

My DD1 is a July birthday and when she started in reception, despite being one of the youngest in her year, was also one of the most mature, articulate and socially aware children. Her school didn't have a staggered entry, but did have an extended period of settling in for the younger children, whereby those with birthdays after March only did mornings till after the autumn half term. Many of the older children found it more difficult to settle as a result (and I am now concerned about how my DTs will fare when they start in September as with March birthdays, they will be full-time from their second week).

DD1 is now in Year 1 and is in the top group for literacy and is average for numeracy (just like her mother ) so being one of the younger children has not hindered her educationally either. She is one of the smallest and this is her only frustration - that some of her friends can pick her up!

As others say, it really does depend on the child, but I do understand your frustration at people's comments.

MrsMattie · 07/04/2009 08:58

I would never plan a baby to not fall in a certain month, but that's just me. Not a big planner, plus have had some difficulties in the past and am just grateful for a baby at the end, whenever it comes.

I do think August babies are at a disadvantage in this country, however. They start school at such a young age as it is, and to be only just four years old and expected to attend school for a full day alongside children that in some cases are a year older can be quite a challenge.

leonifay · 07/04/2009 08:59

i'm born at the end of august and i survived! my parents were around to offer alot of support, i struggled academicly, i think i would have struggled even if i had been the oldest in the class, i just wasnt intrested in learning in the way the teachers taught.saying that there was one girl in my year at school who really struggled and her birthday was in september. as with any child, regardless of when their birthday falls, as long as your there to offer support, which from the tone of the op you obviously will be there wont be any problem.

alicecrail · 07/04/2009 09:00

My birthday is the beginning of september and i couldn't wait til i could go to school. I was at nursery from 2 1/2 for up to 9 hrs a day anyway, so that probably helped.

As for not being as clever - B*llocks! My little sister's birthday is at the end of august and she was the brightest kid in her class at primary school

LittleMissBliss · 07/04/2009 09:01

I also 2nd the pain about being the last to learn to drive and go to pubs etc.

But on a positive their friends can drive them arround and by the time it comes to their 18th Birthday everyone will be 18 and more people will be ale to celibrate in the pub with them !

gingernutlover · 07/04/2009 09:03

i'm a reception teache4r and I would say that it totally depends on the child, some sept/oct birthdays still find school very hard going to begin with and some august borns are ready at an early age.

When i first started teaching reception I had a little girl born august 31st in my class - she was young to be there iykwim and did struggle to read and write until later but she has just got the news that she is going to the top grammar school in the area because her marks in the 11+ were in the top few pupils. They are at school for a lot longer than just reception and things do even out for most children

llareggub · 07/04/2009 09:03

I'm end of August too, and started school, mornings only, 5 days a week, a week after I turned 3. My mother reports that I had no problems and tells me no-one worried about such things in the late 70s. I turned out alright, so it really does depend on the child.

MrsBeakman · 07/04/2009 09:04

YANBU. I think it's a bit anal to plan exactly when to have a baby actually. But i never had the luxury anyway as I had 3 mcs before i had my dd1, so was pretty delighted to have her at any time of year. She is a mid July baby and tbh is doing really well in reception. They don't always struggle. Your friend who thinks she can plan for her child to be the "cleverest in the class" by having him early in the year is barking up the wrong tree. There is such a wide range of ability in a reception class that her child may be the September born class dunce

welshbyrd · 07/04/2009 09:05

my sons b/day is in august, he"s the youngest in his year, he"s smaller than the others in his class, is a little behind. I think this is only a problem when they are young, when they hit 10-11, my son will be no smaller than any of his class mates. so dont worry. Only problems i find with a august baby is, then school term finishes, towards the middle of July, which means it is almost impossible to arrange a b/day party, and have all his classmates attend. even if you send invatations out on last day of term, most parents forget, and you find not many atted, its horrible. My daughters b/day is in may and she has a lovely party each year, but unfortantly with my son, we end up deciding to go to theme park or something.

funkybuddah · 07/04/2009 09:05

my nephew was born on the 24th of august.

he is on the gifted and talented register and has been over achieving in everything except his handwriting (its a bit messy) since nursery. big load of bowlocks!

LittleMissBliss · 07/04/2009 09:07

I also planned so that my dcs would have a two year age gap that probably makes me pretty anal too[hmm!

Original poster
KathrynAustin · 07/04/2009 09:12

Thanks!

I really agree with the comment about August babies not being so different from June/July babies in their abilities - yet they don't seem to be seen as such a problem group. Can 1 month make that much difference?

As DS1 is 2 1/2 years older than DS2 I hope this will be a benefit - DS2 is MUCH more independant & confident (and taller!) than his big brother at the same age. I'm sure he gains a lot from having an older brother in terms of being stimulated in a way that DS1 wasn't by toys/books for older children.

Most of the messages seem very positive about August babies, which is what I wanted to hear!

OP posts:
Furball · 07/04/2009 09:16

I too have an August boy who is now 7 and in year 3.

I wouldn't of planned to have an August child, because of my perseption prior to having ds, which I now know is completely untrue.

It's not like you can choose your slot like a tesco delivery is it?