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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to be annoyed that people are so negative about an August baby?

171 replies

KathrynAustin · 07/04/2009 08:34

DS2 was born end of August 2007.

After my fisrt scan we were thrilled and told everyone our due date of 27.08.07. I was pretty shocked when lots of people responded with "Oh no he/she will be the youngest in the year", "...they'll have problems at school etc etc".

Obviously none of this had occured to me and it was b**y annoying that everyone focused on it.

I have a colleague who planned coming off the pill so that her babies were born in September/October, so that they would be "...the cleverest in the class...". Arghhh.

I know that being the youngest DS2 will be up to a year behind some peers, but why don't we wait and see rather than label him now?

We go to weekly playgroups and the converstaion often turns to children's ages & birthdays. I've noticed that when asked I now say "Unfortunately he was born end of August..." before the mother can comment about our "bad timing".

My personal concerns are that at 4 years 1 month my eldest was still having the occasional accident, and the Mon-Fri in full-time school seem really long for a young child.

Our local primary has recently stopped staggered entry into Reception, so it is September for all.

Anyway, has anyone else encountered this? On a selfish note, 1 year less nursery fees is an attractive proposition!

Kathryn

OP posts:
VinegarTitsTheVirginNun · 07/04/2009 09:16

My ds1 was an august baby, he was always top of his class, it makes no difference to most children, or parents for that matter, some people are just stupid in their thinking

edam · 07/04/2009 09:18

ds is a very late July baby and doing extremely well at school (Yr1 but has been consistent since nursery). There are two boys in his year with August birthdays - both doing fine, one took a little longer to get to grips with reading but within the normal range and has caught up now he's five.

He's clearly a bright boy and I do think it was unfair that his mother was made to worry ? it's entirely reasonable for a 4yo not to be that into learning to read at first. (But she's a former primary teacher and confessed that she worried because of that - as if it was kind of her job to get him at the top of the class, IYKWIM. She knows it's daft but couldn't help herself)

Try not to worry too much. The research is about a whole population of children, doesn't necessarily mean your child will struggle.

I think what it means is that teachers and parents should cut reception/Yr 1 who are very young for the year some slack and have age-appropriate expectations, not compare them to September-born peers.

racmac · 07/04/2009 09:21

DS1 was born in Nov so pretty much one of the older ones in the year but has struggled with absolutely everything - he is on school action plus so i think it makes no difference.

DS2 was due on the 27th August but didnt arrive till 5th Sept! Sadly all his friends from bf group are all older and will be in year above at school! He gets another year of pt nursery but Im quite happy by that.

So YANBU - its annoying when people think its going to make that much difference - in the long run it will all balance out anyway

annmar · 07/04/2009 09:21

DD1 is an August baby and started Reception in January.

She has settled in fine and according to her teacher is picking things up easily.

After three years trying to conceive, I really didn't care when she was born. Not everyone is able to plan conception, for most people it happens when and if it happens.

Vicky31 · 07/04/2009 09:25

When I was at school the youngest in the class was a girl with an August birthday. She went on to get a PhD and is now a research scientist. Was also head girl, attractive, sociable and sporty....grrrr!

gardeningmum05 · 07/04/2009 09:28

i was born on the 27th august, the youngest and smallest in my class, and not to blow my own trumpet, was one of the cleverest in my year. i passed all my exams and am a happy well balanced intelligent woman
and my birthday was always a sunny day

Sbeanmum · 07/04/2009 09:33

I haven't read all the posts on this topic, but for all those 'planners' amongst you - not everyone can plan when they have their children and it's cynical and selfish to make comments to parents who do have August babies. My advice to those of you who smugly planned their deliveries is to button it in order to avoid offending those less fortunate (or fertile) than you! Some people have enormous difficulty in conceiving and timing is just not an option.

Grrr. FWIW, I don't have any DC born in August.

troutpout · 07/04/2009 09:38

Yeah gardeningmum ...but you would have been even 'cleverer' if you were in the year below
Gifted even

pinkdelight · 07/04/2009 09:43

I was born on 30 Aug, loved always being the youngest, and was always around the top of the class so it never held me back. Have to say, I'd never even heard of this stressing about August babies till I came on Mumsnet. It would never have crossed my mind that it was a bad thing and I truly don't believe it is. YANBU at all!

wotulookinat · 07/04/2009 09:43

I would NEVER have thought something like that. Tell them to sod off.

LibrasJusticeLeagueofBiscuits · 07/04/2009 09:46

Before I came on here I had never heard of trying to concieve so the baby is born in a certain month, it seems to me to be taking helicopter parenting to a new level. I really don't understand it.

I was born in septemeber and was the youngest in the class being a year ahead and got good exam results and have a good career. (lucky private education where they are able to care more about the actually progression of the child than the age of the child)

"However, I have 2 friends who are pregnant and due in August this year and I'm keeping very schtum on my perspective in their company."

oh aren't they lucky to have you as a friend.

EachPeachPearMum · 07/04/2009 09:47

My db is an august baby- always youngest and smallest in his year- never held him back. He is musically talented, and went to a specialist music school, went on to university (different subject) and is a British record holder in rowing. The only negative I can see is being heavily pg in a heatwave- but that's unlikely in Britain

Congratulations!

chocolateismyonlyweakness · 07/04/2009 09:50

Hi Kathryn, my ds was born the end of July, he started school at 4yrs 1month. I didn't have any of those reactions, I must have met more sensitive people!

His social skills were not as advanced as alot of his peers, but the school responded and help him with this.

at people who plan their babies for september/october birthdays. I've seen threads with people who tell us they are August birthdays and have phds!

SouthernMeerkat · 07/04/2009 09:50

I haven't read the rest of the thread (am supposed to be at work, working!), but I'm an August baby, and I consistently vyed for top spot in the class with another girl, who was also an August baby. It was a fairly academic private school, so slightly selective on entry - but even at my (non-selective) prep school it was the same story.

I have a late July baby who is starting school in September - I have worries about how she'll cope with the long days, because my April baby who started reception this year found going FT after Christmas tiring, but I think that's just par for the course, whether you have a September baby or an August baby - they are learning so much, and coping with so many new experiences, that it's just hard work generally!

I wish people would think before they open their mouths sometimes - we can't all plan babies perfectly around school years!

BalloonSlayer · 07/04/2009 09:50

I did find this report interesting.

I think the one I read at the time contained more detail though.

They seemed to think that children born in the summer months were so much smaller than those born in Autumn when they started school that they were slower runners etc (even if they were naturally gifted athletes) and therefore lost confidence in their sporting ability at an early age.

NormaJeanBaker · 07/04/2009 09:52

DS is 5th August. DD1 is October. They are part of a carefully planned educational experiment.

Shiner · 07/04/2009 09:57

It's funny, but I was discussing with my DH the tendency in the local mums to do the opposite to what you are finding - round here they are all trying to get their little ones into the year ahead, so making them the youngest in their year! We live in Germany, and here you have a choice of when your child starts school only when they are born Sept-Oct time (maybe also August, not sure).

The local mums are all hell-bent on getting their kids out of the creche and into Kindergarten as quickly as possible, and then into school a year early. As a result "young for the year" children are more common here, it's practically a sign of success ("little Johnny was too intelligent and mature to be held back...").

If I would you, I would start practising a nice smug line of "my Johnny is top of his class, and he's the youngest, you know". It would come in handy, round here at least!!

allthoseeggsaremine · 07/04/2009 09:58

I didn't even think about this when having children! Didn't give it a thought. My brothers dd is a late August child, she is a teenager now. I don't remember my brother/sil mentioning the age thing at all throughout her school years.

Some people make a big thing of everything, i say, chill out, there are far bigger things to worry about in bringing up a child!

FWIW my dd is one of the oldest in the year (born end Sept) i never even thought about that until a couple of people mentioned it. She is probably one of the more imature in her year, so it doesn't always go the way we think or are told!!!

trixymalixy · 07/04/2009 09:59

My DS will be born in August, but here in Scotland if I feel he is not ready to start school then I can keep him back until the following year's intake.

I was born in July, but was always top of the class, got a 1st at Uni and qualified as an Actuary more quickly than the average. I think it is more to do with genetics.

peanutbutterkid · 07/04/2009 10:03

Maybe it depends what the people are like in the circles you mix in. I've never heard anybody in real life (and I've spent a lot of my life in toddler groups, on preschool committees and at PTA meetings!) comment on where a birthday fell wrt the school intake. Only comment I sometimes hear about summer-borns is along the lines that it's hard to send them off to school when they're still so little (wibbly mom moments).

Milkmade · 07/04/2009 10:17

Tell them you're planning on moving to Oz where the school year is dec-jan? Should at least derail the conversation for a bit!

FigmentOfYourImagination · 07/04/2009 10:19

I have an August baby (08.08.02) and have never had the negativity.

FWIW, she is now in Yr2 and loves school, made friends easily and is coping well with the work. She's not the highest achiever in that class but nor is she the lowest. She is on the lower end of average, which is to be expected.

roulade · 07/04/2009 10:33

I have a ds who will be 3 in july, he goes to ft nursery ( 8.30-5pm mon-fri ). He can do a 60 piece age 4+ jigsaw easily in about 5 mins. I am not worried, he is a genius

Takver · 07/04/2009 10:37

I have a friend born late August, and she says that in 36 years it has never once rained on her birthday .

I am an October baby and (along with plenty of other 'oldest in year' children I should think) I got moved up a class in primary school because my year was too big. So I spent all my primary school years except the last being the youngest by miles, and I don't remember it being an issue at all.

FWIW the same thing happens in DD's school at the other end of the year - all the post Easter babies tend to get kept down a class for a while again because her year is a large one - similarly, they all appear to survive the experience

bronze · 07/04/2009 10:38

And if noone had their babies in august then the yungest would be in july so people would stop planning them for july and go for june and so on.

I have an august baby and worries but for other reasons (prem)

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