...to be annoyed that people are so negative about an August baby?

[KathrynAustin]

DS2 was born end of August 2007.

After my fisrt scan we were thrilled and told everyone our due date of 27.08.07. I was pretty shocked when lots of people responded with "Oh no he/she will be the youngest in the year", "...they'll have problems at school etc etc".

Obviously none of this had occured to me and it was b**y annoying that everyone focused on it.

I have a colleague who planned coming off the pill so that her babies were born in September/October, so that they would be "...the cleverest in the class...". Arghhh.

I know that being the youngest DS2 will be up to a year behind some peers, but why don't we wait and see rather than label him now?

We go to weekly playgroups and the converstaion often turns to children's ages & birthdays. I've noticed that when asked I now say "Unfortunately he was born end of August..." before the mother can comment about our "bad timing".

My personal concerns are that at 4 years 1 month my eldest was still having the occasional accident, and the Mon-Fri in full-time school seem really long for a young child.

Our local primary has recently stopped staggered entry into Reception, so it is September for all.

Anyway, has anyone else encountered this? On a selfish note, 1 year less nursery fees is an attractive proposition!

Kathryn

It does depend very much on the child.

Our three are born within a 6 week period over the summer, so we have two that are young for the school year and one who is old.

DC1 was born at the end of July and has been absolutely fine academically (top sets all the way through). He isn't that big for his year though, so in some ways he may have benefited from another year at home/nursery.

DC2 has an early September birthday and was very bored last year before starting school. I had his little brother to look after and just couldn't quite find enough to stimulate him, despite nursery and lots of trips out. He has found the start of school fine and hasn't been tired. He is a much bigger build and looks huge compared to some of his classmates and I think may intimidate some of them due to his age and height.

DC3 hasn't started school yet, but has a birthday at the end of August.

I was too old when ttc to worry too much about when they were born, but I think given an absolute choice and all other things being equal, I would aim for October onwards as far as their education is concerned. But, it's lovely having a baby in the summer months and great to have all those parties over the holidays and opportunities for parties in the garden.

It does depend very much on the child.

Our three are born within a 6 week period over the summer, so we have two that are young for the school year and one who is old.

DC1 was born at the end of July and has been absolutely fine academically (top sets all the way through). He isn't that big for his year though, so in some ways he may have benefited from another year at home/nursery.

DC2 has an early September birthday and was very bored last year before starting school. I had his little brother to look after and just couldn't quite find enough to stimulate him, despite nursery and lots of trips out. He has found the start of school fine and hasn't been tired. He is a much bigger build and looks huge compared to some of his classmates and I think may intimidate some of them due to his age and height.

DC3 hasn't started school yet, but has a birthday at the end of August.

I was too old when ttc to worry too much about when they were born, but I think given an absolute choice and all other things being equal, I would aim for October onwards as far as their education is concerned. But, it's lovely having a baby in the summer months and great to have all those parties over the holidays and opportunities for parties in the garden.

I do feel our DD has social issues because she is an August! It is very difficult that academically she is up with the top of the class but not yet emotionally. I think this makes the first few school years VERY much more difficult than they could be!
Mind you, if she's this bored as the youngest in the class I don't wish to imagine how bored the eldest bright ones are

i haven't read all the posts so sorry if I am repeating anyone.

this issues irritates me enormously - the more we say "august / summer born babies are likely to have problems" the more we treat them as if they will. They might not!

DH is born 1 december, and is from NZ where the school year runs from jan to December. so he is their equivalent of an august baby. No problems at school, uni, work etc - his parents treated him the same as if he had been born earlier in the academic year.

DS1 was due on september 5th (not planned), but great we were told by anyone who could open their mouth - he'll be the oldest in the year etc etc - he was born by emergency section on 14 july. so he is a summer baby. doing everything his peers are doing already and more in some cases, more articulate than some, huge vocabulary etc.

It depends on the child - when will people realise this. As does when they are born - remember you're due anytime from 37 to 42 weeks - your lo will come out when it's ready for whatever reason, and nothing will keep them in till september 1 if they're not meant to stay there.

sorry for rant - just bought a brand new soapbox

DH is 1st Sep, but was moved up to the year above so was the youngest. He's now an Assistant Headteacher and super bright and clever. He loved being the youngest as he could play in both rugby / football / cricket teams so got to play loads.

YANBU. I am a teacher myself, and although some younger ones struggle, others thrive. People should keep their opinions to themselves!

2 of my 3 children are both August babies and doing just fine at school. Only when my eldest started school did I realise that he would be youngest in the year and must admit I was a little worried.

However, I needn't have been, their school is great and have been encouraging the younger ones where needed and whilst my son may have been a bit behind at first, he is at the same level now and my daugher is a little ahead so I wouldn't worry if I were you.

I know what you mean about the comments though and honestly if I could choose a birth date it would be spring but who gets to choose!?

Like you say, 1 yr less nursery fees

DS3 is a July 27th baby, so close enough to August.

My experience- well I think that idf everything else is fine and dandy then an August baby is fine tbh, every meeting I have attended RE my boys has had notes on the age that take that intoa ccount.

If your child has delays (as does ds3) I think its mroe problematic- ds's delays added to an already natural gap IYSWIM, making him seem even further behind.

But YANBU..... a baby is a baby and is a blessing, birth date should be the alst concern! These things do even out and in a sympathetically led class are an irrelevance

hotcrossbuns I have said earlier in the thread about a baby being just as lovely no matter what month they are born in. I am looking forward to ds going to birthday parties in summer!

Also if i had got to October and hadn't concieved yes i would have a break ttc over christmas and new years enjoy the festivities and try again after christmas. But then i have time on my side, if i was say 38 then of course i wouldn't i would carry on TTC. So i do understand that not every one has this option, which i have also said before.

Its is just a personal preferance of mine that i decided to TTC to avoid August i know that i am lucky to be able to concieve easily but i have decided to have children in my early 20's so this may be the reason. I do understand that it does take some mothers years and lots of treatment to have children and of course to them it does not matter, (nor should it to anyone) what months a child is born in. I know it is a luxury to be able to pick and choose. But i will not appologise for my decision. I do not see it any different to mother saying 'oh we are trying for one more' after say having 4 boys but would have stopped if the 4th baby had been a girl.

My DD is a late July baby and the smartest at nursery, it depends on the child, she will start p/t in September and fulltime from Jan, she is going to find it hard just going half a day when her friends are there all the time.

I sort of planned to have a september baby (when TTC dd1) not for school/being clever reasons just so i would be able to take maximum maternity leave (i work term time only). anyhow had dd on August 31st and am now glad she was august because it does make childcare a lot easier and if she is not ready initially i am sure she will catch up.

DD has a September birthday and it's really wierd thinking that she will be in the same school year as her cousin who is 7 months younger (May birthday). At 2.6 and 1.11 y.o. there is such a massive difference in their ability to communicate, understand how to behave, etc. However, by the time they start school I'm sure that the gap will definitely have closed.

DD will be really sad that all her friends from day nursery will go to "big school" in September.

I also believe that the 11 plus exam results in this area are adjusted to acount for age differences within the year group.

As a grammar school teacher the large majority of our kids are born Sept-February - sure they say they adjust the marking but in reality it doesn't make that much difference tbh- we prob have one or two August birthdays in each class of 30 - Sept-Dec we have sooooo many birthday balloons around the school.

dd was born end of august and had no probs at all with school, and also saved me a year's nursery fees - yay.
in fact, now we're in the US, she is still one of the youngest and the top of her class in every subject, so not exactly struggling.
she loves being around older kids

also, one of my cousins is born 1st sep, and hates being the oldest - some of the girls in her class are less mature, and there are no 'older boys' for her to flirt with - she's a teen. she's def NOT the cleverest in her year, except for an astounding ability to talk her way out of homework.

there are loads of kids with birthdays around this time of year - tis 9 months after the christmas season. office parties & christmas drinkies have a lot to answer for.

My brother and my DH were both born right at the beginning of Sept and because back then the cut off for which year you went into was whether your birthday fell before or after start of term (and their birthdays were before the start of term) both were very much the youngest in their years. Neither had any issues at all. My brother was consistently top of his class throughout his school years putting me (a good middle of the school year baby!)to shame!

I dont think the disadvantage of being one of the young 'uns is academic. I did great academically and so did most of my summer baby friends *

The big difference IMO is socially - there was a massive difference between the older kids in the class and the younger ones when it came to social maturity. The older ones seemed to do much better socially whereas we were always kinda tagging along not getting it quite right and being the little scrawny goofy ones running behind LOL

*perhaps because we had more time to study cause we just weren't busy being cool like the older half (purely because we didnt know how)

Stille- in my daughter's high performing selective independent school (in the top 10 girls' schools in the country), she is the youngest in the year group by 6 weeks with her 27th July birthday. There a couple born in June, a smattering in May, and the rest are born earlier in the year. Many are born in the months September to December. I don't know if it's a statistical blip, but it don't look like it to me.

11+ results here are dependant on the childs Birthday so a September baby would have to do significantly better than my August baby to beat her to a place.
I actually think that works in her favour because whilst she maybe immature socially she's still been at school the same amount of time and yet gets extra credit for being younger.
However I am aiming for March for the next one.

I agree that it's all about their social maturity. That can, of course, affect how they do academically in the short term but it's not about aiming for the 'cleverest' child.

I'm a teacher and when teaching Reception you become aware of the gap. In general, summer born babies (especially boys) are more tired and less mature. Not all of course and you will always get the odd autumn baby who is just as immature but overall. It usually sorts itself out as they move on through the infants and IME you can rarely tell the difference from Y5.

There are plenty of positive tales on here about how well summer born babies are doing. That's great but statistically (see link above) they struggle more for no reason other than being a whole year younger in some cases.

I knew before I started trying that I would take a break between Nov and Jan and I was 35. I don't see this as any different to any other kind of family planning. As it happened, all three of mine have their birthdays within a 4wk period 2 Oct and 1 Nov which I guess isn't everyone's ideal.

It's obvious but of course they are all different. My early Oct DS is shy and sensitive and would really have struggled socially in the year above. DD1 on the other hand could easily cope with going a year earlier than she will.

I think you are understandably annoyed. Education is only one part of a persons life-but they will always be able to enjoy a summer birthday!!

Duchesse - as i have an August DS myself i have been paying particular attention to the intake of year 7's for the last coupld of years to see when their birthdays lie - as i said the large majority are Sept-Feb consistently year after year.

honestly sorrento - where we are in Kent they give extra credit for younger children but effectively it means very little when you see the intake ages.

In all honesty I'm not entirely sure a single sex education is the best idea for DD anyway, but I have been assured that she will not be disadvantaged by her age and the appeals procedure here seems to be very strange, so am planning to divorce DH the week before the exam to make sure she gets an offer

Good luck to her and you

My DS's teacher told me last week that he isn't going to pass (tell me something i don't know) but he is still going to sit it cos statistically someones gotta get lucky with the multiple choice!

It's great to hear the anecdotal tales of August born DC doing so well, but the fact remains that the research indicates that statistically (looking at the results of large numbers of children)summer born children, especially boys, do less well at school. My work is related to special needs, and it involves more boys than girls, and many many children with summer birthdays. Friends/relatives in teaching who were reasonably able to plan their families all aimed for autumn babies. We had fertility issues so were glad to have children at all - 1 is July, 1 is August. 1 is doing really well; 1 is worrying me hugely.
I'm not saying any of this to sound negative, and of course it's awful to say insensitive things to anyone expecting a summerborn DC, but I'm not sure how helpful it is to deny all the evidence because of 'Freddie nextdoor the child genius born in August,' tbh. - Not that I'm saying that parents should always expect a summerborn child to have problems automatically!!!!!!
Ooooh, and I agree - summer birthday parties are not brilliant and perfect, it's a nightmare of planning to arrange things for when the 'essential and most bestest' friends are actually around......
[VW has PMT emoticon}

My cousin told me yesterday that she has been working in a primary aged school for MLD in the class she took 20 out of 21 were boys - a high percentage of those had summer birthdays.

I have said before i will continue to say that the education system as it stands favours girls/is more female-centric.