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AIBU?

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Original poster

...to be annoyed that people are so negative about an August baby?

171 replies

KathrynAustin · 07/04/2009 08:34

DS2 was born end of August 2007.

After my fisrt scan we were thrilled and told everyone our due date of 27.08.07. I was pretty shocked when lots of people responded with "Oh no he/she will be the youngest in the year", "...they'll have problems at school etc etc".

Obviously none of this had occured to me and it was b**y annoying that everyone focused on it.

I have a colleague who planned coming off the pill so that her babies were born in September/October, so that they would be "...the cleverest in the class...". Arghhh.

I know that being the youngest DS2 will be up to a year behind some peers, but why don't we wait and see rather than label him now?

We go to weekly playgroups and the converstaion often turns to children's ages & birthdays. I've noticed that when asked I now say "Unfortunately he was born end of August..." before the mother can comment about our "bad timing".

My personal concerns are that at 4 years 1 month my eldest was still having the occasional accident, and the Mon-Fri in full-time school seem really long for a young child.

Our local primary has recently stopped staggered entry into Reception, so it is September for all.

Anyway, has anyone else encountered this? On a selfish note, 1 year less nursery fees is an attractive proposition!

Kathryn

OP posts:
MarmadukeScarlet · 07/04/2009 16:56

On the positive side, you are awarded extra points in the 11+ if you are an August birth - not many, but every little helps!

surprisenumber3 · 07/04/2009 17:22

My DS was due 27th Sept and born 19th August, so all these people who plan for September births can't always be sure it will go to plan!

He is 9 now and definitely in the top few in the class academically. He struggled in reception and had to try very hard in year one to catch up but then he just flew!

surprisenumber3 · 07/04/2009 17:23

oh and I was born in August too and had no probs at school whatsoever.

Hersetta · 07/04/2009 17:33

My DD was born on 31st August and i get a lot of pitying looks and occasionally a 'couldn't you hold on a big longer'comment to which I reply that unfortunately the 5 whole days I spent with contractions every 4-6 minutes plus 18hrs of contractions every 2 minutes was plenty enough for me. Now fuck off and make your condecending comments somewhere else.

My DD is only 19 months and she is ahead of all her developmental milestones and is very tall so i have no worries about sending her to school when she is has just turned 4. Sad that some people judge others based purely on when they were born.

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/04/2009 17:45

my friends dd was born end of august and she went to full time school at 4yr and 1 week - it knackered her for the first 6mths

my middle is a sept birthday so misses school intake this year by a few weeks and he is so ready for school - plus all his nursery friends wil move up and he will be on his own

im in july - was the 2nd youngest of the year and i survived

better to be end of aug rather than 25 dec as was another friends ds and one of my school friends - she hated it

piscesmoon · 07/04/2009 17:53

It can be a good thing. I have a friend with a DD, born 1st Sept, very mature and bright-she found she preferred the year above as friends -this causes difficulties-especially in yr 6 when they all moved on and left her.

The thing that really bugged me with my DS with Aug birthday was holiday activities-e.g going kayaking, they had to be 8yrs-all his friends were but he was too young. You get the same thing with something like go-karting in the summer holidays-all his friends could do it but he couldn't. It is one thing that struck me as unfair-the date should have been the cut off, not the age.

He found it very difficult when he wanted to learn to drive and he had to wait until last. The pub can also be difficult-they can legally get into things at 18 and he was too young. I tell him that now he has passed all the 'rights of passage' he has the last laugh-he is still a teenager while the rest of his friends start to feel old!

Hersetta · 07/04/2009 17:54

Blonde - i must live in a cursed house then as my DD is 31 August and my DH is 25 December. I am 28th Feb and just missed being a leap year baby!

SalBySea · 07/04/2009 17:55

I feel well within my rights to discuss this having always been one of the yonger kids in my class myself

My DH was also in the youngest half and we often compare stories and joke about how we were the scrawney, goofy ones haning out with the other younger kids. We never got things quite right like the older autumn born kids, e.g. if Levis were in we'd get navy instead of the light blue ones (which at 13 is the difference between cool and "gay")

We think its funny TBH but there definately is a difference socially between the older half and the younger half of the class.

I did much better socially after doing an optional year between GCSE level and A level, (schooled in a country where some years are optional). After that I was one of the older ones and much happier

Dont get me wrong though, we survived it!

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/04/2009 18:04

Hersetta - be thankful you werent born 29th feb

must be really weird not having a proper birthday for 3 years out of 4

NormaJeanBaker · 07/04/2009 18:46

DS is August and we are thinking of delaying his school entry by a year. His school is very small and has no Jan intake. DD was ready for school from birth. He might never be ready. Their school is a rural primary with mixed year groups. But no-one has ever been aghast he was born in August.

sarah293 · 07/04/2009 19:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
KathrynAustin · 07/04/2009 20:03

I hadn't even thought of the school outings/driving and legal age to drink issues. It's a minefield...

A big worry is that the young ones are labelled as such at school - it's hard to lose a label when you're given it age 4 - maybe the whole August baby thing is made worse by educators thinking it's going to be an issue, or am I naive - is it always an issue in reception?

OP posts:
slowreadingprogress · 07/04/2009 20:11

Kathryn I wouldn't worry - if my ds' school is anything to go by, the birth date of your little angel will not be at the forefront of their minds!

My ds, poor lad, has colour blindness and hypermobility which affects all his motor skills AND has a mid august birthday; even with all that, and him being on the SEN register, his reception teacher had to be reminded that he was very young in the year

I don't think a label will necessarily follow!

iSOLOvechocolate · 08/04/2009 01:14

Traceybath, that's a coincidence! my Ds is 10th Aug and my Dd is Boxing day

sayithowitis · 08/04/2009 10:29

I don't think schools look at a date of birth and assume that a late summer born child will automatically bring problems. What tends to happen where I work, is that if a child has problems, we look at the DOB to see if that could be a factor, as I said before, of the children on our SEN register,most of them are simer born boys, but that doesn't mean that all the summer born boys in our school are SEN IYSWIM! Often, the problems are purely down to a lack of maturity when compared to other children in the same academic year, who were born earlier. We have a greater proprtion of Y3 children than Y6, because, for many, by the time they have been with us 4 years, they will have caught up on the maturity front and therefore, the academic front so they come off the SEN register. Often, those on the SEN are there because they are just not yet ready to cope with the things we expect of them. Remeber, the difference between a four year old and a five year old, is much greater than the difference between a ten year old and an eleven year old in terms of the proportion of their life so far: a quarter as opposed to a tenth. And that proportion continues to diminish as they go through school so that by the end of school, there is often no discernible difference that can be attributed to what time of year they are born.

sayithowitis · 08/04/2009 10:29

oops, too many typos!

spinspinsugar · 08/04/2009 10:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kidcreoleandthehotcrossbuns · 08/04/2009 10:56

It bugs me too regarding negative comments and august babies. My DS will be 4 on the 21st of august and starts school on the 1st sept. I could keep him back a year but I wont because he's ready for school. He's very bright, can write, count etc. Children should be judged individually and not when their birthday is. How can you plan to the month when your child will be born? Of course it can be done but you'd be vry lucky if it worked out. And then stop TTC at the end of the year to avoid an august baby? Bloody ridiculous....you either want a child or you don't. Does it really matter what month their born in? I find all this picking and choosing a bit strange.

stillenacht · 08/04/2009 11:02

My DS1 is late August (he is youngest in the year) he has struggled all through primary school (he is left handed as well and i think that his primary school doesn't really know how to deal with lefthandedness with regards to literacy etc)...I am a teacher (but secondary so don't really know about the benefits of Sept/Oct birthdays - hadn't ever thought of it really). We intend for DS1 to repeat year 6 in an indie school and go through until year 11 in that school so effectively he will be out of year group but in practice he will be two weeks older than his peers.

Consequently when i had DS2 i really wanted a Sept/Oct baby - My DS2 is the oldest in his year - early September- HOWEVER he has severe SN and is at a special school and has a mental age 4 years behind his actual age (he is only 5 and a half)

It doesn't really matter when they are born does it....

lucyflawless · 08/04/2009 11:04

I haven't read any of this post, but just wanted to say I'm an August baby and NEVER had any probalems academically (although I don't think I spelt that correctly!!!)

Anyway just enjoy it, don't let your child know it ever occured to you as a problem!

LittleMissBliss · 08/04/2009 11:15

I really don't understand why people find it weird that some people would TTC after a certain date to avoid the birth of their child to fall in a certain month.

People TTC often do so with lots of other restriction.

Wait untill married
wait untill they have perfect job and a career to go back to
start ttc straight after one baby to have a small age gap
wait a few years between children to have a larger age gap
wait untill they have the perfect family home
wait untill they are over 30.
TTC so that they are pregnant during winter months, as they suffer when pregnant in the heat.
TTC for a particular sex, just one more baby so that i can have my boy/girl

etc. etc. none of these are odd to me so i don't see why people would find it odd for me to wait untill after christmas to ttc to achive a due date post August? Its just careful planning. I wouldn't be devistated if i fell pregnant and had a due dat of august but would not plan for one.

LittleMissBliss · 08/04/2009 11:23

Oh and just to make clear the reason why i wanted a baby after August wasn't because i wanted them to be brightest in the class, of course that is mainly due to genes.

But more for the social aspects. It can be hard being the youngest and always the last to be able to do things. Of course this isn't that much of a big deal in later life but may cause a few problem whilst at school and waiting for mile stones such as learning to drive, drinking etc. But those are only a few years of a childs life out of many in their life time.

duchesse · 08/04/2009 11:25

After 5.5 years I was grateful to be pregnant at all. The fact that this one is due in the middle of August is the least of my concerns. Plus it will have lovely warm sunny birthdays, and if played right, the choice of which school year to be in. Can only see advantages personally.

duchesse · 08/04/2009 11:26

Sorry- 5.5 ttc.

kidcreoleandthehotcrossbuns · 08/04/2009 11:28

LittleMissBliss- I understand people waiting until they are married or financially secure before trying for a baby. And if having a baby NOT born in August is very important to you then of course that's your decision. But if you begin to TTC after xmas and then you get to Oct and still haven't conceived would you then stop TTC for a couple of months? All I'm saying is if people have been TTC for a while they might find it a bit strange that people place so much emphasis on the month a baby is born and not the fact that every baby is a blessing regardless of which month it has been born in.

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