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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to be annoyed that people are so negative about an August baby?

171 replies

KathrynAustin · 07/04/2009 08:34

DS2 was born end of August 2007.

After my fisrt scan we were thrilled and told everyone our due date of 27.08.07. I was pretty shocked when lots of people responded with "Oh no he/she will be the youngest in the year", "...they'll have problems at school etc etc".

Obviously none of this had occured to me and it was b**y annoying that everyone focused on it.

I have a colleague who planned coming off the pill so that her babies were born in September/October, so that they would be "...the cleverest in the class...". Arghhh.

I know that being the youngest DS2 will be up to a year behind some peers, but why don't we wait and see rather than label him now?

We go to weekly playgroups and the converstaion often turns to children's ages & birthdays. I've noticed that when asked I now say "Unfortunately he was born end of August..." before the mother can comment about our "bad timing".

My personal concerns are that at 4 years 1 month my eldest was still having the occasional accident, and the Mon-Fri in full-time school seem really long for a young child.

Our local primary has recently stopped staggered entry into Reception, so it is September for all.

Anyway, has anyone else encountered this? On a selfish note, 1 year less nursery fees is an attractive proposition!

Kathryn

OP posts:
fruitstick · 07/04/2009 10:39

My birthday is at the end of August and I'm really really clever .

The only time I ever felt disadvantaged was when all my friends learnt to drive.

rolandbrowning · 07/04/2009 10:51

What a lovely time of year to have a birthday!

allthoseeggsaremine · 07/04/2009 11:08

The comments about birthdays in August are so right!!! I always envied my brother because he could plan outdoor parties for his dd they had some wonderful times. Even now that she is older she can have teenage bbq's in the garden, so lucky. Even my dd who has the September birthday misses out abit cos it usually rains by then!

I have never done the 'competitive mother' thing so didn't have to worry about the late/early thing.

Maybe you need to change your circle of friends

FairLadyOfMuslinCloth · 07/04/2009 11:11

Kathryn,
I must admit the whole "the youngest in the class" thing DID worry me (especially as ES was a June Baby, so, not the youngest, but DID have problems learning...he has caught up on it though)....but ys is getting on wonderfully and is, by no means , behind the otehr children academically (well, as much as you can tell so far...he is only in Reception)....and emotionally, well, he is quite sensitive, but that isn't so much age related, it is more in his nature....

I am an August Baby myself...but rules in Germany are different, and a child starts school when they are ready, rather then by Birthday cut off....so...it doesn't really count...

as a child the thing that bothered me was, that people usually forgot my Birthday, because of Holiday season and lack of Parties, because of Holidays, etc...!

strawberrycornetto · 07/04/2009 11:12

My DH and my best friend were both born on 30 August. They are both very bright, high achievers. DS is also sporty and was his county cross country champion. I think any early difficulties will iron themselves out pretty quickly. Its just another thing people get in a panic about I think.

prettybird · 07/04/2009 11:26

Move to Scotland The age year is from March to February and for those kids who are not yet 5 when school starts, and whose paretns don't consider thme ready, there is the option to (genuinely) keep them back so that they start the folowing year, when they would the oldest, rather than the youngest in the year.

martinemorris · 07/04/2009 11:31

Hello,

Both my husband and I are August birthdays and we never had any problems. We were both top of our classes and also went through university with flying colours.

We both have very good jobs so it just goes to show that being born in August has never been an issue and never should be!!

jujumaman · 07/04/2009 11:42

I find this whole August thing ridiculous

We have a super-pushy mum friend who is devastated because for some reason her planning went wrong and both her dcs have summer birthdays. Her dd1 (August) has got into a v competitive prep school but the mum is dithering on whether to hold her back a year so she starts school the oldest and steams on to even more academic glory. I just think where will the buck stop - if all the August mums hold their dcs back a year, then July babies will be the youngest, so then maybe they'll be held back a year and so on and so on and so on.

My fil, as one example, is an August baby. He has a doctorate and is the CEO of a huge multinational, it doesn't appear to have held him back.

Northernlurker · 07/04/2009 11:54

Sounds like August is a good month to have a baby - the maternity units will be 1/2 empty as all the obsessive planning mothers wait till September 1st!

Regarding school - your child is not compelled to be in education until they are five. If they're not ready - whenever their fourth birthday falls then hold them back for a bit.

madairyMilkEggday · 07/04/2009 12:20

Yanbu at all. I remember being flabbergasted when I was pg with my dd who was due on August 31st that I had 'better keep my legs closed' til Sept 1st so she wasn't a youngest in year, then when she was late getting comments like 'Oh I bet you're glad you held on to September aren't you' - well no, at the time I was just desperate to meet my baby, and a day didn't make a smut of difference. Actually in the end I'm glad she was a september baby, but because she is actually young for her age anyway so would have found it v difficult in the year above - just shows you can't judge in these things, all children are different and they all balance out.

BettySwollux · 07/04/2009 12:42

DS1 was august baby, he is in the top 5% of all his classes, very socially mature, quite tall for his age (11), so Im glad he is youngest in the year, if he was oldest in year below, he would seem massive compared to other kids (already bigger than most kids in year above!)
DS2 born september, but only 19 months, so will have to wait to see the outcome of that .
But, honestly, I dont think it matters.

kentmumtj · 07/04/2009 12:44

my dd was born 1st sep all my other preggie friends had their babies in the aug. At the time she really felt left out when her freinds started school and she had to wait another whole year.

perhaps i should have tried to push her out 7 hours earlier lol

jeee · 07/04/2009 12:45

I once tactfully said to someone pregnant with a very much wanted baby "oh, February, what an awful month to have a baby in." Sometimes mouth is detached from brain. Anyway, you may go overdue, and come the end of August everyone will be saying "haven't you had that baby yet."

Orangesarenottheonlyfruit · 07/04/2009 12:46

Weirdly, my DH and about 8 of our friends are all july/ August birthdays. They are all ridiculously clever engineers or techie types and reasonably well-adjusted. In fact DH got 5 A's at A-level and runs his own business designing microchips. I think the only bullying he got at school was for being bright rather than anything else. Hope that cheers you up!

KinderEggKayzr · 07/04/2009 12:49

I'm not really bothered. A lot of my friends at school that were born in August were the cleverest.

When we try for DC3 I'd to be due in July/August/September because DS1 is March and DS2 is December so it will be in the middle.

kitkatqueen · 07/04/2009 13:04

Hiya, I also have a baby due in August ( no 4) and I couldn't be happier , at last one of my children will get so have a summer birthday party!!! My dd2 was born in October and as such SHE is going to have to wait an extra year before she is going to be starting school and she could really do with starting this year not next. Hey Ho theres nothing you can do about it, every child is different. A month or 2 at this point in their lives isn't going to make a jot of difference later on anyway!!

I too have had lot of comments about "Oh no an August baby, shame about school" and also "Oh No pregnant through a hot summer poor you didn't plan that very well LOL"

Pesonally I count myself very lucky to be having a baby at all, I am sure there are lots of women out there who would kill to be pregnant and really wouldn't care about what month, ignore daft comments. They are not worth worrying about, but it is v annoying I admit...

sayithowitis · 07/04/2009 13:19

YANBU to me annoyed that people are passing comment on your DS2 without knowing his abilities etc. However, IME, it is true that most of the children on our SEN register at work, ARE summer born boys. My own DS2 was summer born and it wasn't really until year 7 that the age/maturity thing levelled out. I am not saying that all summer born children, boys especially, are destined to be SEN, just that of the children on the register, a very real majority do fit the timings.

It is not always possible to hold a child back a year, because that will also put them at a disadvantage. Mostly because they will still start school into the same year group that they would have been with had they started at the 'right' time. Therefore, they will have missed several terms teaching and unfortunately, the way things are now, there is not always time to go back and repeat stuff. Bl**%y national Curriculum.!

Lilymaid · 07/04/2009 13:24

DS2 is an August birthday and he has taken a long time to achieve his potential academically ... so when people tell me they are expecting an August birthday I always mention his friend who was born on 31st August and has always been top academically!

PurpleCrazyHorse · 07/04/2009 13:25

I went to a grammar school and there were plenty of July/August kids there (and very clever they were too, probably more than me - a Jan baby!).

Lilymaid · 07/04/2009 13:32

A slightly depressing academic report

YanknbeforetheCockcrows · 07/04/2009 13:35

I'm also expecting in August (25th) and am just happy to be having a baby at all since I've tried for three years!

I was a July baby and so was my mom. She got moved ahead a year due to being smart, and the same thing nearly happened to me (but mom didn't like the experience herself so said no). I was always in the top of the class, and was reading before everyone else. Lots of kids screaming at being left at school, while I marched up and introduced myself to the teacher!

DH is another July baby, now with a PhD. My response to anyone saying anything negative about our summer baby will be 'it certainly didn't do us any harm!'

crockydoodle · 07/04/2009 13:40

In Northern Ireland, July and August birthdays are the older ones. My ds (19th August was the oldest in his class)

Shambolic · 07/04/2009 13:43

Can you respond with "I see your surname is in the second half of the alphabet.... What a terrible crying shame..."

popsycal · 07/04/2009 13:44

my august baby is fab -0 bright, intelligent and wonderful
I also have a march baby and a spetember baby and tbh i am more worried about the reverse of this for my september one

Gorionine · 07/04/2009 13:44

I think it is very insensitive for someone to comment in that way to you when you where so happy announcing the good news.

sayithowitis, can you expalain a bit more about why it would disadvantage him to start a year later? a friend of mine's dd was born the first week of September and had to start shool the a year ater her friends born the same year before September. Would a week difference really be that big a deal? Genuine question BTW not having a go for the sake of it? but you see to know the subject well.