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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to be able to take my children to my friends wedding

252 replies

sleepsforwimps · 02/04/2009 10:49

She politely told me that only children from her family are allowed at her wedding. The reason I'm given is she doesn't want the risk of anything spoiling her day..

This wouldn't be such a big deal if my ds was older, but he will be not much over a year by the time of the wedding. I am breastfeeding and I am now feel pressured into getting him drinking milk from a cup well enough that I can leave him with my parents by the time of the wedding. He has also never spent any time away from me and I don't like this pressure of having to leave him somewhere and getting him off the breast quicker than I maybe would have.

AIBU I want to take him with me, he's a very good baby, she wouldn't even know he was there.

OP posts:
LilianGish · 02/04/2009 23:17

We should go into business - can't use your name though Shambolic Wedding Planners doesn't have a great ring does it?

Shambolic · 02/04/2009 23:19

Depends on the target audience.

Could be right up the street of thunderducks family!

You have a point though...

I know - how about "Sham Weddings" - that has a nice succinct ring to it I think?

mrsblanc · 02/04/2009 23:19

SGB you speak a lot of sense

thumbbunny · 02/04/2009 23:24

oh what a tricky one. See, I didn't have mobile children at my wedding but did allow the 2 bf'ing babies to come (despite the fact that one of those bf'ing babies had 2 older sibs who didn't come)

The parents of the bf babies would have removed them instantly had they started to make lots of noise; and no one seemed to mind leaving their DC behind for the day.

Thunderduck · 02/04/2009 23:26

You guys have done this before haven't you I can tell.

Who were your former clients? Jack the Ripper? The Addams family?

Shambolic · 02/04/2009 23:35

Well thunderduck, if you're looking for a sham wedding look no further.

Lilian and I have it all under contol...

So far we have a "mood board" comprising...

  • Museum, possibly crime or insect
  • Brides family's children to be locked in cellar with guinness
  • Ball and chain to be attached to groom during ceremony

Reception includes chocolate fountain with selection crunchy insects. Lilian to negotiate possible consumption of exhibits.

I've got a ? over the wedding night cannibalism - you may want to think about that one - it is a bit more pricey as well.

I think it's all really coming together!

mummy2isla · 02/04/2009 23:37

YABU.

Thunderduck · 02/04/2009 23:37

..squeals it's perfect!

My sides hurt now, but it's worth it.

Shambolic · 02/04/2009 23:41

Yes. Unforgetable.

LilianGish · 02/04/2009 23:44

Just had a thought - if you went for the prison option you could possibly have live uncaged cockroaches.

Thunderduck · 02/04/2009 23:45

Throw in a few plague ridden rats and it's a girl's dream come true.

LilianGish · 02/04/2009 23:48

And if anyone who has the temerity to disagree with you they do have a pillory (it is the bride's day after all!)

Thunderduck · 02/04/2009 23:49

I suppose it'd be too much to ask for an Iron Maiden? If so I could settle for a rack.

LilianGish · 02/04/2009 23:53

If my memory serves me correctly they have both. How about incorporating a few life sentence references in the invitation?

Thunderduck · 02/04/2009 23:57

I love it. You guys have the best ideas.

Speaking of which I know I should leave it to the pros, but I was thinking of either nipple clamps or thumb screws as favours? What do you think?

Shambolic · 02/04/2009 23:58

Gosh such fantastic new ideas!

But it is bedtime now...

I will be interested to see what we have planned in the morning!

Thunderduck · 03/04/2009 00:01

Good night and thankyou both for the laughs, even if I did wake dp up.

The innocent responses did make me laugh too.

LilianGish · 03/04/2009 00:03

Night night - you've made my evening. I love Mumsnet.

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 03/04/2009 00:37

As a humanist wedding celebrant ( our motto at least ought to be 'Up a tree or in your own front room, we do the business) I am quite liking a lot of these ideas. But reserve the right, as visiting professional, not to have no bugs put on me OK?

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 03/04/2009 00:38

I have however had a shag in the Clink Museum. Many years ago it used to be a venue that allowed some rather naughty parties afte hours...

Thunderduck · 03/04/2009 00:41

Sounds fair,though presumably you've no objection to the rats? They come from only the finest of plague breeders and are lovingly hand picked. They're not just rats, they're M&S rats.

Rach1523 · 03/04/2009 01:11

I went to a local wedding when my bf dd was 6 months old, she wasn't invited so I left her with my mum and she brought her down to the reception and the hotel let me use a room to bf her. I did this mainly so I didn't explode, and I have to admit it was quite nice for me and dh to spend some time together minus child!

loulou35 · 03/04/2009 01:21

......a friends baby (who was usually good) cried during my service- was really distracting- felt really pd off. Id say respect their wishes or dont go. My friend wanted to watch the ceremony so tried to 'hush' him, everyone looked at them, eventaully she gave in and went out, only to return a few minutes later (through noisy old wooden doors) so he could start again!!! I wish id implemented the no kids thing!!!!

( now divorced anyway, but husband was pd off as it was 'my' friend,i still remember discussing it on honeymoon ffs !!)

mrsblanc · 03/04/2009 08:35

At my sister's wedding, friends of hers (self obsessed pitas) allowed their baby to yell throughout the speeches at the reception.

Perhaps that is why many people don't want children at weddings.I don't blame them.

My sister would never have expected those parents to be so selfish and stupid.But they were.

KathrynAustin · 03/04/2009 08:57

I'm on the bride's side here.

Luckily when I got married no friends/family had babies, so wasn't an issue for us but I've been to too many weddings since where the vows are drowned out by a baby, or the focus of the wedding switches from bride and groom to the baby, no matter how discreet & well behaved they (the children!) are.

I see weddings as an important baby/child free time to catch up with friends and have fun with DH.

Also wouldn't your DS be happier surrounded by his toys somewhere were he make make lots of noise than at a wedding?