To be upset that DD1 class be told all about Afghanistan when she's 5?

[MrsPurple]

I don't think I'm over reacting and am looking for reassurance. My DD1 (year 1), came home from school yesterday telling all about fighting and the war in Afghanistan.

I had many difficult questions off her.

It turns out a classmates uncle came in to talk to class about his job etc.

No letter was sent out re asking parents to come and talk about jobs and no letter that it was going to happen, because I would have wanted her excluded from this.

I know children need to know re some stuff but when she's older, at the moment it's my discretion.

The man told them all about fighting and war and guns.

I had a problem re a teaching game used a few weeks back called shoot out that the teacher used (I asked for help on here re that). The teacher ressured me they wouldn't use it again.

I now fell that my worries weren't listened to and want to email the Head, who I know quite well. AIBU?

What about the child whose uncle it was? Don't you think that child benefitted from an understand of what her uncle dies. And don't you think it did him/her some good to have her uncle come in and share with the whole class.

All these soliers in Iraq and Afhanistan are somebody'd daddy, brither, uncle and I think we should teach our children to honor and respect them. To hide them away and tell them not to talk to our children is outrageous slap in the face in my opinion.

There are nice stories to tell, like this one

World War 2 is part of the year 1 curriculum at our school. I assume this in line with national curriculum and not just at our school. How can you teach this subject wout relating it to modern day soldiers?

Wanna you are missing my point. No I don't know exactly what was said, however I know what my DD told me (and also what other DCs in her class have told their parents), I'm not stupid enough to get upset without checking some facts out.

My original post was for reassurance about approaching the school. Which I'm glad to say I did. I am reassured by the head that the teacher will be asked about the talk and fed back to me about the exact nature of it.

Although she did agree if it had glorified things in any way it was inappropriate and that this would be considered re any future talks.

Sham
Glad to see I'm not on my own in wanting to want to bring my children up to feel safe and address some things at more appropriate times.

Wanna
The question re the trains was because alot of people feel I am protecting my DCs to much and that your DC know about War and Afghanistan because of your DH. Well my DD knows about train crashes as it relates to my DH job. Not because I feel it is age appropriate but situational as you feel about your DH job.

But on the same point I wouldn't expect the school to talk about it to other children without asking parental opinions first, and if my DH was asked in to do a talk (which the Head said wasn't the case), then he would make sure any questions of this manner were not glorified and tell them the bare minimum as at their age they don't need to know about them.

Hmm this is interesting!

I read your post, thought why do I remember MrsPurple - then you mentioned the shoot out incident!!

I agree with you totally, you expressed your concerns on that issue. I agree that children need to learn about all kinds of things. But war, guns and 'deading the baddies' is not for 5 year olds (And as an aside WHO are the baddies anyway, I digress!)

Permission should have been asked on this one imho.

I think your train driver analogy is relavant too tbh. My X works with people who have serious mental health problems - would your dd's school like him to talk about how he deals with their aggressive behaviour, voices and medication too - I think not

I am also not anti soldier at all btw.

YANBU I would definitely complain

Thanks Yurt, I'm glad I contacted head. I'm still getting questions re this nearly 3 weeks after the event.

I'd be worried about this and would want to know the content of the talk. Ds is in Yr1 - he knows a very little about war when stuff has come up in conversation or he's noticed something in the paper or heard the radio. He asked a few questions about the Poppy Appeal, for instance. He knows his great-grandparents and great-great grandad served in WWs 2 and 1.

But these are things I've explained to him in terms I think are appropriate for his individual level of understanding.

Would be concerned that some guy I don't know from Adam might give him information that was frightening, or from a viewpoint that I have profound objections to. Ds automatically believes that anything said at school by a grown-up is The Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing But.

Think it's the lack of advance warning that would particularly irritate me. If I knew it was coming up, I could watch out for any distress, give ds some context and so on.

You've hit the nail on the head, some people have thought it was because I'm Anti forces which I'm not.

Still not heard full content of talk from Head but as it's holidays I image it will be after.

I wouldn't have a problem with a parent coming to talk to my ds about 'normal' jobs and not to know in advance. I would want to know about someone like a soldier though in advance precisely because of the issues it may give rise to. I don't let my ds (4) see the news because I'd rather he didn't know about the awful things in this world at his age. He has his entire life to deal with that and I would like him to have a childhood.

I was nearly killed in a terrorist attack when ds was small but it isn't something that I have chosen to discuss with him yet despite the profound affect it has had on my life. He will know about it when he is older and able to have some understanding.

I am not sure what the benefit is of exposing very young children to all the evil there is in this world.

No, I'm not anti-forces either, ds knows one of our friends is a surgeon in the navy and my BIL is ex-army.

He understands that there are such things as just causes where you have to stand up and fight. I've explained that it's very sad because people get hurt and killed so good and sensible people try very hard to avoid war but sometimes it has to be done.

Actually, watching Doctor Who has really helped, especially as the Doctor is such an interesting moral figure who is opposed to guns and tries very, very, very hard never to kill anyone, even a Dalek.

(Sorry about all the 'very', fell into using the same language I use with 5yo ds!)