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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that DD1 class be told all about Afghanistan when she's 5?

185 replies

MrsPurple · 31/03/2009 21:24

I don't think I'm over reacting and am looking for reassurance. My DD1 (year 1), came home from school yesterday telling all about fighting and the war in Afghanistan.

I had many difficult questions off her.

It turns out a classmates uncle came in to talk to class about his job etc.

No letter was sent out re asking parents to come and talk about jobs and no letter that it was going to happen, because I would have wanted her excluded from this.

I know children need to know re some stuff but when she's older, at the moment it's my discretion.

The man told them all about fighting and war and guns.

I had a problem re a teaching game used a few weeks back called shoot out that the teacher used (I asked for help on here re that). The teacher ressured me they wouldn't use it again.

I now fell that my worries weren't listened to and want to email the Head, who I know quite well. AIBU?

OP posts:
herbietea · 02/04/2009 10:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

paisleyleaf · 02/04/2009 10:48

Herbietea, sounds like your hand was forced by 9/11 though....you said you had 'no' choice.

madwomanintheattic · 02/04/2009 10:52

lol paisleyleaf, nice try but i suspect herbietea was talking about introducing her young child to the evil in the world, not the forces. as she had a daddy in the RAF she would have been completely au fait with the normality of armed forces existence lol.

paisleyleaf · 02/04/2009 11:19

yes, she did say "You can't go through life shielding your children from realities".....so i thought she'd meant "evil in the world" too.
I think there are some things we should tell children on a need to know basis....and herbietea's perhaps needed to know some realities then.

It is hard to explain to LOs "just how much we owe the armed forces for" without mentioning evils in the world.

herbietea · 02/04/2009 11:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

madwomanintheattic · 02/04/2009 11:34

absolutely, but that takes us back to age-appropriate introduction to police/ ambulance and (in this case it appears soldiers) as part of the KS1 PSHE Curriculum... 'people who help us' lol
difficult to introduce a policeman's job without some mention of 'evils in the world', too presumably?

paisleyleaf · 02/04/2009 11:35

"How do people explain Rememberance Sunday then without mentioning the evils in the world?"
to my 4 year old? ....I haven't yet. Maybe this year, I'll see where she's at.

madwomanintheattic · 02/04/2009 11:36

don't let her join the rainbows at 5 then if you're planning on holding off - they'll be wanting to wheel her out to the war memorial.

paisleyleaf · 02/04/2009 11:37

DD watches PC Plum.....not The Bill.
The OP's LO is 5, only a bit older.

paisleyleaf · 02/04/2009 11:39

Are Rainbows churchy like brownies?
I thought I would give them a wide berth anyway ta

madwomanintheattic · 02/04/2009 11:42

right. but the policeman going into school isn't talking about who dropped litter on the street is he? oh, yes, he probably is, that's because it's an age-appropriate introduction to policing. no soldier going into a yr 1 classroom is going to talk about blowing people up or drugs warlords, and preaching how evil muslims are.

police are allowed in.
why is it different for soldiers? it's just another job.

madwomanintheattic · 02/04/2009 11:43

lol. i was going to say that in my post - i do find it funny that most people who are anti-establishment in some way find the brownies evil lol.

paisleyleaf · 02/04/2009 11:45

he was talking about "fighting and war in Afghanistan"

paisleyleaf · 02/04/2009 11:48

I don't find brownies 'evil'
just uncomfortable about the worship side of things.

madwomanintheattic · 02/04/2009 11:57

the difficulty that i have is that i doubt that was what he was talking about lol. i just can't see it at all. which is why i'd really like to hear the teacher's view on what was discussed. it's not that i don't believe the op, i just think there has been a bit of chinese whispers. yes, her dd may well have come home asking about war and afghanistan, but that probably wasn't actually the focus of the talk. it's like a child coming home and asking about murder because after the police visit, one of the boys in the playground said 'police get to go and find dead bodies and work out who killed them' because of something he's inadvertently seen on tv.

it doesn't actually mean that the policeman was talking about murder victims, just that, even at 5, these things do seep into the consciousness.

springlamb · 02/04/2009 12:00

Dd is Yr 2 and last October/November the class did a lot of work around Armistice Day. However, someone must have focussed a little too much on the injuries sustained during war because dd decame quite obsessed about people losing arms and legs, and how they coped afterwards.
Every night at bedtime we had the same conversation. Took a few weeks for it to peter out. However, I do think children eventually file the information away.
I had no objection to the lessons taking place but it was clear dd had taken in one aspect more than any other!
I am a firm believer in watching the news with the dc - I remember talking with ds and watching coverage of 9/11 when I was 7 months pregnant with dd and feeling so scared about the children's future.
Yesterday I made them watch Obama arriving at No 10 at 8am (whilst talking about G20 and the protests) - it didn't go down too well as they try to sneak a peak at Hannah Montana at that time usually.
I think we learnt much more about the world from TV and radio news when I was dd's age, back then in the early 70s we had no Cbeebies of course, only one TV in the house, and parents ruled.

Shambolic · 02/04/2009 12:04

Nice to see you back mrspurple

I was wondering if you could tell us what your child was told/what the difficult questions were that were asked so that we can try and get to the bottom of this! At the moment we are all working on assumptions about what would/would not have been said.

Personally the age appropriate thing for me is the key, as I'm sure it is for the vast majority of other posters.

I have made clear throughout that children do not need to know "the whole truth" by a long chalk...

What were they actually told?

madwomanintheattic · 02/04/2009 12:05

springlamb - yes, we had similar with the great fire of london topic in yr 2 lol. it didn't make me go in and ask them to change the curriculum because the children were now afraid of being burnt in their beds lol. we just talked about how it happened, spread, and got a few lessons in about smoke detectors lol.

did i post my query about john craven earlier? do we still have newsround? i do vaguely recall many attempts to deal with news stories age-appropriately. has that been censored too or is it still around?

Shambolic · 02/04/2009 12:11

Newsround aimed at 6-12 yr olds though

MillyR · 02/04/2009 12:17

In my children's school they often do whole school topics, and they did WW2 as a whole school topic. Everyone, even nursery year, came into school as people from WW2 (although many as civilians - women factory workers etc) and they all had a Victory tea for the end of WW2. They also all watched a play put on by the top class. They had WW2 veterans come in and do talks in assembly and help out in the classes.

They also observe 11/11 every year, and have a silence and sell poppies. I presumed every school did this.

I know that in other primary schools, the whole school does an ongoing project, run by current soldiers, where pupils adopt and tend the grave of WW veterans, and older ones research that individual's history.

Soldiers should routinely be in school, as they are part of our society with a strong public presence. I think it is disrespectful that you would want to complain and I am less than impressed that a year 1 child isn't familiar with war, given its huge role in the shaping of our current society and the debt we owe to the older generation.

The argument that it isn't part of a current topic is very weak; teachers should be able to be flexible and bring in committed people like this when they are available, without parents moaning about it.

madwomanintheattic · 02/04/2009 12:18

is it still on after blue peter? i have no idea . were we supposed to be turning off after bp if they were under 6 lol?

madwomanintheattic · 02/04/2009 12:19

tee hee. come to that, is blue peter still on? i vaguely recall a drugs incident involving one of the presenters... recentish?or so last millenia dahling?

Shambolic · 02/04/2009 12:29

That was the bloke who goes out/went out with Connie Huq - Richard someone? Does the wright stuff sometimes - he was in a tabloid cocaine story and was sacked.

I was a john noakes/simon whatsit generation girl myself

Blue peter was extremely dull though...

I liked morph and rhubard and custard...

Anyways...

Interesting point MillyR about the WW etc. I do wonder if the current situations we are emroiled in around the world are as clear cut as those. In WW2 you really did have a "baddie" - more than one - and it was us versus them, goodies and baddies and very straightforward. The current conflicts are not quite the same though... For eg in Afghanistan who is the "baddie"? I'm not even sure...

Would be great if we could find out what actually was said!

MillyR · 02/04/2009 12:41

Shambolic,

Yes, I agree, that Afghanistan is totally different to WW2. But that is a political issue and the responsibility of politicians. The job of the soldier is to serve his/her country and as such they are often involved in community campaigns about people who serve, or have served in the past.

Soldiers (ex and current) going into school is as much about the wellbeing and inclusion of veterans and the armed forces as it is about the education of the children.

Shambolic · 02/04/2009 12:44

We really really need to know what was actually said!

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