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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not allow my child to do a reading in church?

934 replies

GooseyLoosey · 30/03/2009 08:45

Dh and I are atheists. The dcs attend the local school which is C of E (although wholly state funded). There are no alternative non-C of E schools locally.

The school tends towards being very religious and there is a special Easter service in church for the school this week. Ds (5) has been given a reading to do at this service. It includes many "Praise God" and "God is good" type statements.

I don't wish to over react but getting ds to actively participate in an act of worship may be a step too far for me. AIBU to object and to consider telling them to get someone else to do this?

OP posts:
SlebMner · 30/03/2009 09:52

yes, but that does not mean it should be expected that all of those of different faiths should or would

if i sent my DCs to a faith school, which i could not, as there are none in the area, i would be castigated for that

just can;t win , can you?

and no, i can;t home ed, and can;t afford private school and can;t move to a faith school area.

SlebMner · 30/03/2009 09:53

there will be opportunities for him to learn about public speaking later, this child is 5!!!!

Peachy · 30/03/2009 09:53

(FAQ as an aside some Hindio sects ahve Jesus as an avatar- wonder if they were a member? If so they'd see Jesus as a divinity, just not the divinity, IYSWIM?)

or more likely they were just evry relaxeed,a nd good on them.

SlebMner · 30/03/2009 09:56

sassy, but what is the school teaching then, if not 'indocrination', just the oppposite of what goosey is teaching her children?

i am not seeing much tolerance and empathy from some posters , i though they were good old fashioned christian values?

anyway, do unto others as you would have done to yourself

live like that and you can;t go far wrong

FAQinglovely · 30/03/2009 09:56

if the OP's family don't believe then I don't see how standing up doing a bible reading is any different to participating in a class assembly or similar with a fairy tale where a pumpkin is turned into a carriage - another silly thing that we know didn't really happen.

SlebMner · 30/03/2009 09:58

because there is religious meaning and it is an place of worship, surrounded by symbols of taht religion

a church or synagogue or mosque is not just a building, it is a holy consecrated place.

it makes what you say and do in there different. well, that's what i thikn anyway

fircone · 30/03/2009 09:59

It's just a reading, for God's sake (perhaps a pun intended!).

Either he does it and enjoys the occasion, or bends to your will and sits it out.

FAQinglovely · 30/03/2009 09:59

oh gawd - so what do you reckon to a sing-a-long Mama Mia happening in a church then (as so many people turned up it was too many for the hall to cope with )

georgimama · 30/03/2009 10:00

No one's jumping up and down. Don't let him doing the blooming reading. It's not a big deal.

I'm just surprised that a committed atheist considers it a big deal. I would allow DS to read something praising Allah, actually (as I believe that the one main monotheistic religions are essentially the same and worship the same God - which they do - the strife and warfare is manmade and in the detail), but if I felt that strongly about it I would question why I had agreed for him to be in the school in the first place!

FAQinglovely · 30/03/2009 10:00

and surely if the OP's family are atheists it has no meaning to them - it's just another fairy tale/load of nonsense in a building that has no meaning to them??

Original poster
GooseyLoosey · 30/03/2009 10:01

Peachy - actually, the school have not asked my permission. There was just a little note in his bag saying he was doing it and could I do through it with him.

For those of you who appear to think that I chose this school. I DID NOT. The dcs were born into the community that they live in, they are part of it. They have been brought up with a strong sense of community and to believe in the importance of it. I would not move and take them away from that and there are NO alternative state schools.

OP posts:
georgimama · 30/03/2009 10:02

What does a daily atheism session involve btw? Do you sit and chant "there is no god, there is no god" and stuff?

Tn0g · 30/03/2009 10:02

Goosey, does he want to do the reading?

I understand the points you're making [and respect them] with this thread but I'm just rather curious as to whether your ds wishes to take part in the service.

georgimama · 30/03/2009 10:03

You did choose it. You chose it by choosing to live in this community. You chose it by choosing to use state education. You chose it by choosing not to home educate.

100yearsofsolitude · 30/03/2009 10:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
GooseyLoosey · 30/03/2009 10:04

georgimama - I'm not sure how big a deal I do consider it, hence starting the thread. If I was absolutely sure that it was the wrong thing for him to do, I would not have asked for views.

I must say, I am surprised at the strength of the opinions that suggest I have to lump it as I chose a C of E school and it is wrong to teach atheism to my children.

OP posts:
ruddynorah · 30/03/2009 10:04

it is just a reading. same as if he was asked to read a passage from any book. he is being asked to participate in something with his classmates, a good thing surely. doesn't have to mean as much as you seem to be worrying about.

when he's questioning things like the holy trinity why not just turn it back at him? get him to think for himself through the ideas. no need for you to have to come up with very much at all. perhaps if you had a better understanding of the religion he's asking about you would be able to help him reach an understanding of it. same as you would with any maths or english homework.

SlebMner · 30/03/2009 10:05

georgie, am i obliged to convert to christianity and attend church, as that is what my community and local area do?

i am finding the intolerance on this thread shocking

Tn0g · 30/03/2009 10:05

Hello

Hello

Testing, testing...

justaboutback · 30/03/2009 10:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

100yearsofsolitude · 30/03/2009 10:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
GooseyLoosey · 30/03/2009 10:07

Tn0g - ds says he does not want to do it and does not want to go to the church. However, I think that this is because he finds the service boring rather than any deep seated athiest conviction on his part. However, I would say that he tends towards the view that God does not exist.

100yearsofsolitude - I have never called Christian or any other act of worship silly. I have simply questioned whether I want my child to take an active part in it.

Georgimama - I wish I lived in your utopian world of choice.

OP posts:
justaboutback · 30/03/2009 10:07

This reply has been deleted

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SlebMner · 30/03/2009 10:08

goosey, i am with you on this

i find it really unpalatable that christian beliefsa re being likened to fairy tales, which surely denigrates it, and that it is a like it or lump it approach

again, what about compromise and empathy?

this child is 5 , doing the reading won;t scar him for life, but similarly , neither will not doing it

the glib comments of 'home educate/ move house ' are ridicolous

the child surely has friends at shcool and is settled, but that does not mean he has to particapate actively in christian worship

justaboutback · 30/03/2009 10:08

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