to not allow my child to do a reading in church?

[GooseyLoosey]

Dh and I are atheists. The dcs attend the local school which is C of E (although wholly state funded). There are no alternative non-C of E schools locally.

The school tends towards being very religious and there is a special Easter service in church for the school this week. Ds (5) has been given a reading to do at this service. It includes many "Praise God" and "God is good" type statements.

I don't wish to over react but getting ds to actively participate in an act of worship may be a step too far for me. AIBU to object and to consider telling them to get someone else to do this?

exam, many of us don't have a choice though - like the OP my local school is CofE, no one in this country (as far as I know) has only a Muslim school to choose from as there are so few of them.

I would love to live in a world with no faith schools but that doesn't exist so we have to make the best of what we've got. I went to a CofE school and was taught at home that god didn't exist - managed just fine and I was certainly not the only one of my friends who was not praying in assembly!

Gosh, am surprised that you feel sorry for my dcs believing that there is no God. Do you feel that your own children are similarly deprived if they believe that there is a God?

I don't think that ds is telling us what he thinks we want to hear - he's not really like that. He has asked a lot of questions about what he has been taught at school. He has asked how it is possible that Jesus can have arisen from the dead; why dying on the cross was of any benefit to him; and what the difference between "God the Father" and "God the Son" - how many Gods there in fact are. As an atheist, these questions are very easy to answer and if the school cannot provide him with answers he thinks are rational, I am not quite clear why I should tie myself in theological knots trying to.

Christmas and Easter both came about because the church did not want to deprive people of existing and popular pagan festivals. Likewise Halloween.

Given your circumstances and the choices you've made I think YABU.

I also think it's inappropriate either to teach, encourage, or allow your children to use words like "silly" and "nonsense" in relation to the faith they are being taught or are observing in practice. Apart from it being contemptuous and rude, it's undermining the school in the same way that slagging off a teacher at home undermines the school. It's not tolerant.

I can't believe that parents teach their young children that "God doesn't exist".

It is hard to believe I admit, and I don't have a faith myself, but I wouldn't be arrogant enough to think I had the definitive answer to that one!!!

thats not what i said at all

my three children were brought up catholic

i am very very proud to say that i now have a self proclaimed bhuddist, a catholic and an athiest. which i think reflects perfectly on my style of parenting.

please re-read my post. i did not say i feel sorry for your child becuase he doesn't have a faith.

The only choice I made was to allow my children to go to the local community school. There is no non-C of E alternative. This is the school we are zoned for. All the surrounding village schools (which we probably couldn't have got in to anyway) are also C of E. The nearest town is in a different LEA and is not that near and it is unheard of for anyone from the village to get into a primary school there.

I did make a choice to live here and be part of the community here but interestingly, the majority of the community appear to have rejected the church which now has an extremely small weekly congregation.

Tbh if you dont want your son to read for whatever reason and he thinks its 'silly' then maybe he should step aside and let someone else do it whose parents would be really proud - I know I would be and I dont believe in any religion.

And your comparison of a Christian child reading in a mosque wasnt the same at all.

custardo, my message was a thought following Sponge's post..

YABU - I presume the schools SATS results are good enough to allow you to compromise your beliefs in order to send him there ? Another case of picking and choosing which bits of your beliefs best serve your needs ?

Margot, lol!! Why on earth is it appropriate to teach children that god does exist but totally wrong to teach them that he doesn't?

I would not make it a daily lesson to tell my DS that god doesn't exist, but if he asked questions I would use the line I always used when teaching myself, "some people believe . . ." and, if he asked me if I believed I would say no and tell him why.

Totally ludicrous to suggest that this is any different from Christians teaching their children from Day one that god exists and that's a fact that they shouldn't question.

You are doing your child no favours.

Actually the SATs results and the last ofstead report were not that good, but as I said it is the ONLY choice.

sassy, the OP has said before - she doesn't have a choice of schools!

Why does everyone always assume that church schools are the best and atheists use them for good results?

I taught at a non-denominational school that had excellent pastoral care and SATs results. I would love a school like that near me but sadly I don't have one, and neither does the OP.

Well Sponge, serious answer, my children go to church school (and church) but I hold back putting forward my own opinion on the matter. I don't nail my colours to the fence for now. I will let all of this wash over them for a decade or so! and then inevitably they'll have some questions and I'll try and answer in tersm of 'what I think". But I won't try to give a definitive answer eg, God does exist or God doesn't exist.

I don't feel equipped to answer that one. But, I do know that I benefitted from a church upbringing. I liked Sunday School and am familiar with the bible stories. I enjoyed being in the choir and I knew people from school who went to my church too but were a few years ahead of me.

I look back on it as being a good part of childhood, not a harmful part of childhood.

why did you post in AIBU? You clearly have made up your mind that you are right.

I went to a CofE school and often did the reading up at the church at Easter etc. I loved going to the church and the taking part.

Neither my family nor I were religious in the slightest.

YABU.

we are Jewish and i would not want my child doing a religious reading in church, and they don;t have to participate in pointedly chrisitan worship. I don;t think YABU but i think it is important for children to get a feel of religion in general and learn about other faiths and beliefs. but they don;t have to actively participate

Spongebob - if you are so scared of your child being 'indoctrinated' by a school, surely you'd make sure that you had choices ? It makes me laugh that people aren't passionate enough to make life changing decisions (Move house if you feel so strongly or home ed ? ) but save their energy for undermining the ethos of a school that they CHOOSE to send their kids to. Cos around here no one forces you to write the name of a particular school on the application form.

Good for you Margot, my experience is completely different and therefore I choose to parent differently. Your children are being taught every day that god exists - as will my children because they will have to go to a religious school.

So, as an atheist, I have every right to counter balance that at home by teaching them there are other ways of viewing the world and that dh and I do not believe in god and the reasons why.

It's just a matter of opinion. I was brought up an atheist and also look on it as being a very good childhood, not lacking in the slightest because I didn't do church or Sunday school. I still have a full set of morals and understand the difference between right and wrong!

Exactly spongebrains. I have never set out to teach my children atheism but if they ask me questions about God, I will tell them that yes, some people believe in God and their beliefs are very important to them, however I do not. When he asks very specific questions I answer them from an atheist perspective. I cannot understand why this is wrong. His teacher teaches him incorrect use of apostrophes too - is it wrong to correct this?

The OP does have a choice. She could go private, she could home educate. She could move. If her atheist principles were so very important she would be prepared to do that.

As others have said, you appear to be happy to accept the good things about the school (principally your own convenience) but you are undermining the ethos of the school.

If you don't believe in God, fine. I don't believe in Sleeping Beauty but if DS was told to do a reading in class about Sleeping Beauty I wouldn't get on my high horse about it. If religion is nothing more than a pretty fairy story to atheists (as so many of them maintain on MN), why do you feel so threatened?

spongebob i understand where you are coming from

private education - v v expensive

home ed - certainly not a choice for everyone

different shcool - catchments, waiting lists etc

you all say there are so many alternatives, but in reality, there probably aren;'t

and moving house, as that is so easy , especially right now

i thikn it is always a fine balance to make between what is believed and taught at home and in teh school

SlebMner - thank you - that was my point really. I can accept what he is taught in school. He knows we have different views at home but also that what he believes is his choice - we have discussed this. However, the active participation in a church service is what makes me uncomfortable.