to not allow my child to do a reading in church?

[GooseyLoosey]

Dh and I are atheists. The dcs attend the local school which is C of E (although wholly state funded). There are no alternative non-C of E schools locally.

The school tends towards being very religious and there is a special Easter service in church for the school this week. Ds (5) has been given a reading to do at this service. It includes many "Praise God" and "God is good" type statements.

I don't wish to over react but getting ds to actively participate in an act of worship may be a step too far for me. AIBU to object and to consider telling them to get someone else to do this?

Sponge, ok, I see your point. But see things differently.

After World Maths Day, I said to my dd6, "ha! any chance of World Apostrophe Day?". The teacher is the one who would benefit the most.

sorry, i said spongebob when i meant gooseyloosey !! an easy mistake to make

Goosey, what does your ds feel about actively participating in the service and doing the reading?

sassy, you are not seriously suggesting that I have to home ed cos I have no choice but to send my kids to a CofE school - that is laughable!

And of course moving house is so easy .

I will not spend my time undermining the ethos of the school, I will answer questions honestly that my children put to me. And I have plenty of passion to make life changing decisions - you know nothing about me so that is a hilarious accusation to make.

I'm not remotely scared that they will be indoctrinated because I know that education begins at home - and, IMO, religious education should stay at home.

Regardless of the circumstances, you made the choice to send your child to a C of E school. Pushing it to the limit, you could have opted out entirely and home educated.

Now, you must decide if you are really unable to tolerate the religious element. If not, presumably you can withdraw your dc from religious practice.

Like the idea of "World Apostrophe Day" - not sure how keen the school would be though!

Slebmner, my Jewish friend's 3 year old went to a c of e pre school, and when her grandparents gave her a new doll called baby annabel, my friend's little girl said, no, not annabel, baby Jesus

too slow as usual

georgie, x-posted - can't really believe you are serious about suggesting private ed as an alternative. How many people can afford that?

That's a joke right?

sleb, absolutely, well put.

and i did not let my DCs take their teddies to church to be baptised, they went to the church, but did not take a toy. i don't think they have been scarred for life by not actively participating and staying on the periphery of it

i also attended a christening a couple of years back with the DCs, and DS was very upset when he was picked on by the woman leading the children's service for not joining in , i had said we were jewish, but she ignored me and DSs uncomfrotableness and insisted DS could worship as lots of jews worship jesus. I had to speak quite firmly to her to get her to stop insisting to DS he should join in

that was far more upsetting to him than not joining in at school etc..

he felt singled out by her actions, not mine

sponge - I think sassy is suggesting that and tbh if my only choice were catholic then I would move...just as if my only choice was a school in special measures but then I rent so its much easier.

think of it as a performance - and go along and be proud of her

Let's campaign for World Apostrophe Day! Teachers all over the World could compete against eachother for the worst use of the apostrophe.

I nominate my dd's teacher, who always requests that children wear trainers on Monday's and Wednesday's.

I didn't say any of the alternative were easy, I said they existed. If these principles were so important, she'd do one of them. It's what I'd do in her shoes.

Tell the school you don't want him to do the reading. This isn't really a big deal.

He's missing out on an important experience in public speaking, not to mention the important life lesson that sometimes we have to do stuff we don't want to, or that we think is a bit silly, and should still do it to the best of our ability because life is like that - still, why should he? The rules are the rules until mum says otherwise. Brilliant.

Then we wonder why we're breeding a generation of sociopaths with no concept of community or empathy.

YABU
If I felt as strongly as you seem to about religion then I would not have sent my child to a CofE school.
If the only school locally was a Muslim school I would send my child to that school respecting the beliefs of the people who run/attend the school not debunking it at every turn.

hear, hear georgimama.

End of last term I saw a little boy who is a practising Hindu stand up and read one of the readings at the CoE schools Christmas Service. His mum and gran were sat there in the church watching him proudly............

you can be empathetic and understanding and empathetic of different cultures without actively worshipping and participating.

i find the black & white stance taken by some posters very difficult

surely the key is compromise?

the OP can teach her children her beliefs, tehy can learn about the various religions, but still be allowed to opt out of active worship

i do not want my children actively worshipping Jesus, it is not just a 'performance', worshipping a different god in a christian place of worship is not what i want for ym children

but it does not mean that i debunk things or talk insultingly about christianity

our beliefs as a family should be respected too

surely that is part of community and empathy?

that does not mean that every practising hindu family should and does feel the same though

no - but he wasn't the first child that attends the school that I've seen perform/participate/take part (whatever you want to call it) in the various Christian Celebrations the do in the church.

YANBU at all.

I don't see why it's so hard for people to grasp how little atheists' views are respected when it comes to schooling. If you are CofE or Catholic then you almost always have the chance to send your child to a school where the views taught will entirely reflect your own. If you are an atheist then in a lot of rural areas you are forced into a faith school (unless you can afford to go private or HE) and even if you send them to a non-faith school you still have to deal with the compulsory worship element.

Then when an atheist parent wishes for their child not to partake in a more strongly religious activity they are accused of being intolerant/hypocritical/breeding sociopaths (wtf??). It is ridiculous -- the Christians want to have it all their way.

Spongebob - defensive and jumping up and down much ? You can't pick and choose which bits of your belief system you utilise. You choose to send your kids to a C of E school, you can't then tell them that what they learn in school is 'wrong' (which is essentially what you do when a kid at a religious C of E school is told that God doesn't exist. What kind of message does that send to a child ? 'It's ok - I don't have to listen to teachers cos mummy says they are wrong....'

Jump up and down and do all the angry faces that you want. Sending your child to a Cof E school for your own convenience and then contradicting the ethos of the school makes you a hypocrite, as I'm sure a C of E parent whose child perhaps didn't get a place at that school would agree.

But you're right - I don't know you and I don't really care how narrow minded and selfish you and the OP are. I feel sorry for any child whose parent feels the need to indoctrinate them into 'anything'.

YANBU if it conflicts with your beleifs.

Taht's why they ask permission: say no thanks, and et a child for whom it means something (there will be many) have the chance instead.

Unless of course it will upset him and I do beleive in allowinga child to develop their own beleifs- as a Christian (Quaker style leanings, struggle with the whole high Church deal) I have one Atheist and one who loves the local C of W Church: I consider it a matter of some pride they ahve the ability to make their own choices.

I could not have chosen to home-ed my child. Like many people, I need to work as does my dh. I could not afford private education.

As I said, I can tolerate the religious element in the day to day activities of the school and we do not have daily atheism sessions at home to counter this. However, it is an entirely different thing to get ds to actively participate in (not just attend) a church service.

and I agree totally with what Georgimama said

"
He's missing out on an important experience in public speaking, not to mention the important life lesson that sometimes we have to do stuff we don't want to, or that we think is a bit silly, and should still do it"