to say M&S is not family-friendly !!

[GLS]

Hands up if you've ever had one of those moments in a supermarket where your 2 year old is throwing the world's greatest tantrum and you're caught with no milk or snacks. Today I was in M&S at Lakeside. It was packed. My toddler decided to let loose with a super-dooper tantrum so I grabbed a banana to settle him as I tried to do the shopping as fast as I could without seeming like a crazed woman! The check-out queue was a real challenge but luckily a kids mag was the perfect distraction. So I checked out, paid the bill and was leaving the store only to be stopped by a security guard who said "Do you know why I'm stopping you?" I wondered if I'd won some prize like being the 1,000th shopper or something. He persisted in asking me "Do you know why I'm stopping you?" I hadn't a clue. Did they want my feedback on my customer experience perhaps? He escorted me off to a room where I was advised that I had stolen a banana from the store without paying. I had completey forgotten about the banana! After just spending £50.57 in the store I said sorry but you're kidding right? He advised me they were calling the police! After full-on interrogation & full personal data checking, and 30 minutes of ridiculously wasted time, I was advised I was being issued with a letter barring me from ever entering another M&S store ever again, and if I did police action can be taken. I said "Do you know how much I spend at M&S every year?" (the answer is around £3,000+ pa!). I was well-dressed and presented - not your average hoodie with that 'repeat offender' type of look! So there you go. I'm sure shareholders should be worried if this is M&S' practice on mothers! What's your opinion?

BTW in case I am coming across whiter than white, I've done it myself - think everyone has. Once stole some cotton wool balls from Boots, when I finished looking round the toys and realised they didn't have what I wanted. Oh, I took the basket they were in as well - not very sneaky! I went back in and don't think they even noticed!

Jazz hands, that wasn't stealing because you did go back and pay when you realised

Yes, I did wonder about the banana peel and what became of it - it would certainly be a reminder that it needed to be paid for.

And JH - you did say you went back in and paid for it right away. You didn't act as if the store owed you a free banana because of what you had already spent in the store or spent yearly (just guessing here). So you did take responsibility for it. In most instances where this type of thing happens, an appropriate attitude, an apology, and a sincere offer to pay for the item make a big difference in how the situation is viewed. Unfortunately, store security see people using the "I forgot" excuse and using their children as excuses for shoplifting on a regular basis and tend to get a bit jaded about it.

But then, seeing the comments the OP made about being "well dressed" and such, she comes off as one of those that feel they should be "ultra-privileged" anyway. Again, just my opinion.

So in view of the fact that I can't absolutely guarantee 100% that this will never happen again, I should indeed keep out of shops altogether as per Triggles.

Thanks girls.

Am particularly impressed that going back and paying for something in no way lessens the crime.

I want to know how a brown stinking banana skin didn't remind her she had an extra item to dispose of.

If the security guard was watching the whole thing then he will have seen her take the banana, unpeel it and hand it to her child.
If the OP had HELD onto the effing peel, she would have been reminded by the smelly lump that she needed to pay for it.
If however, she peeled the skin off, dumped the skin back into the display and handed the banana to the howling toddler before pulling the child away from the scene to complete her shopping, then yes, the guard is going to follow her all around the store.

Of course it lessens it! They'd be cutting off their nose to spite their face if they thought it was worth prosecuting at that point.
Personally I'd weigh up the risks of it happening and the store actually prosecuting, against the benefits of going shopping, and continue shopping.

Didn't say that JH, just said people need to be responsible. I guess if that's too much for some, then perhaps they should stay out of shops.

dispose of? pay for. duh!!!

But if a store security person had stopped me before I had gone back into the store to pay for it, my excuse that I had forgotten and was just going back to pay for it would fall on deaf ears, and rightly so.

The moment you leave the shop you have committed the theft. I committed theft.

If you do 33 in a 30 zone but realise and correct your mistake, no harm done. Doesn't change the fact that driving at 33 in a 30 zone is a crime, and that if you get stopped while it's actually happening it will be treated as such.

The store is private property, and as such, has every right to ban someone from their premises according to their own policies. If that policy means they have a zero tolerance towards theft, then that is what it means. Pretty good incentive to either be prepared ahead of time with a snack in case of child having a meltdown or making sure you pay for the item before you leave, I guess.

but by returning to the store you were not intending to deprive the store of the item/ money in place of that particular item. you wished to correct a mistake and would have been really apologetic about it.

"Sorry, but I realised I hadn't been charged for this!"
Most people would smile and say "thanks you for coming back" and "you're not the first".

Exactly. So if I had been stopped by security they would have been well within their rights to prosecute me with the full force of the law.

I was just very very lucky I suppose.
And as per Triggles maybe I should stay out of shops, as I am irresponsible.

by returning to the store you were making an offer to pay- yes?

the OP made no attempt to pay for the item and appears to think it is her God-given right to help herself to fruit on behalf of her child without doing so.

Do you not think that's an overreaction given the chances of it happening in the first place, and the chances of a store choosing to prosecute someone like you who made a mistake and is apologetic?

Don't know about irresponsible, as I don't know you. But you're beginning to sound a bit... um. .. repetitive.

If it's such an issue for you, then fine, stay out of the shops. Whatever.

It's a question of risk isn't it.

I'm not sure I want to run the risk of being arrested. And I don't think I can 100% guarantee that something like this will never happen again, especially when I get older, I know my mum once walked out of boots with some moisturiser by accident. She went back and paid for it obviously, but she could have been nicked before she went back in.

I thought this was common and that people were usually understanding, as no-one is perfect, but I am now seeing that there is "zero tolerance" approach in operation which is a bit more scary.

Maybe you are right Triggles I will have to have a thnk about it and see how it can be done practically.

Think I'd better leave this thread and go and have a chat with DH about all this.

Thanks everyone I'd never have realised that my assumptions about what happens in these types of situations were so wide of the mark if I hadn't come on here.

it is common and people are understanding!
Why do you think that isn't the case?

I have seen a thread about this before, and someone pointed out that the stores don't have a very strong legal position against repeat shoplifters, whereas if the person repeats the offence while banned from the store they can be more effectively prosecuted for trespass.

Do you suppose the police would have been called At All if the OP had just said "God, I'm so sorry, I completely forgot - how much is it?" And then got out her purse. I suspect they got heavier because she got v. snotty about her £50.57 bill - which is a pretty light basket in M&S.

"I said "Do you know how much I spend at M&S every year?" (the answer is around £3,000+ pa!). I was well-dressed and presented - not your average hoodie with that 'repeat offender' type of look!"

OP sounds like a right poncy twit

I think if the OP had apologised and offered to pay they would have let her off with a caution. Her attitude smacks of arrogance. Spending £50.57 does not entitle you to a free banana, nor does being well dressed and spending £3000 a year in M & S (How the other half lives ...)

Where is the OP anyway?

come on does anyone not think this thread is a wind up?

i imagine OP squawking how very dare you and "do you know how much" i spend demeanour probably didn't endear

after all she was a thief much like common criminal