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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to say M&S is not family-friendly !!

210 replies

GLS · 28/03/2009 19:17

Hands up if you've ever had one of those moments in a supermarket where your 2 year old is throwing the world's greatest tantrum and you're caught with no milk or snacks. Today I was in M&S at Lakeside. It was packed. My toddler decided to let loose with a super-dooper tantrum so I grabbed a banana to settle him as I tried to do the shopping as fast as I could without seeming like a crazed woman! The check-out queue was a real challenge but luckily a kids mag was the perfect distraction. So I checked out, paid the bill and was leaving the store only to be stopped by a security guard who said "Do you know why I'm stopping you?" I wondered if I'd won some prize like being the 1,000th shopper or something. He persisted in asking me "Do you know why I'm stopping you?" I hadn't a clue. Did they want my feedback on my customer experience perhaps? He escorted me off to a room where I was advised that I had stolen a banana from the store without paying. I had completey forgotten about the banana! After just spending £50.57 in the store I said sorry but you're kidding right? He advised me they were calling the police! After full-on interrogation & full personal data checking, and 30 minutes of ridiculously wasted time, I was advised I was being issued with a letter barring me from ever entering another M&S store ever again, and if I did police action can be taken. I said "Do you know how much I spend at M&S every year?" (the answer is around £3,000+ pa!). I was well-dressed and presented - not your average hoodie with that 'repeat offender' type of look! So there you go. I'm sure shareholders should be worried if this is M&S' practice on mothers! What's your opinion?

OP posts:
pooka · 28/03/2009 19:29

Saying "I'm sorry but you're kidding right?" doesn't sound massively concillatory to me. But I wasn't there so cannot pick up nuances....

I'm not saying that the response isn't rather harsh. But I don't think that it has anything to do with family-friendliness.

mollyroger · 28/03/2009 19:29

I'm sure it's not an M&S practice on mothers btw.

Perhaps a cheaper store like Asda may have have a more tolerant attitude.

justaboutback · 28/03/2009 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ilovemydogandMrObama · 28/03/2009 19:31

I found a Peppa Pig book once when I got back from Sainsbury's (in the shopping!)

I brought it back to the store and said I would pay for it, and was told not to bother, but thanks for honesty!

It could happen to anyone.

There but the grace etc...

NotPlayingAnyMore · 28/03/2009 19:31

"He advised me they were calling the police! After full-on interrogation & full personal data checking, and 30 minutes of ridiculously wasted time, I was advised I was being issued with a letter barring me from ever entering another M&S store ever again, and if I did police action can be taken."

Not that it will be taken over a banana they (presumably) couldn't be bothered to contact the police about first time around, because if they had, the police would have taken a very dim view of M&S crying wolf over what was obviously a simple, genuine and very common lapse of concentration in comparison to things some retailers are unfortunately subjected to (like armed robberies!)

YANBU and I'm very for you!

Ohforfoxsake · 28/03/2009 19:31

LOL at banning you. Do they have mugshots of 'banned' customers circulated to every branch? Is there a reward if I spot you in there?

Peachy · 28/03/2009 19:32

couldn't have happened to me, dont give banas I havent paid for to the boys

but it is a mega over reaction,an apology may have been better

at well dressed. I'm not, I buy from M&S and dont steal bananas

Lulumama · 28/03/2009 19:32

sorry, computer crashed mid post.

I wanted to add, i feel that if what the OP has described is true, that M&S were very heavy handed in their approach , especially if the police were involved, and might have taken a harder line if the OP had been defensive and of the opinion her £50 spend entitled her to a fre ebanana

oneplusone · 28/03/2009 19:34

I've done this in waitrose. But I always ask them to weigh one of the apples twice at the checkout so i pay for the one DS has eaten whilst shopping. But I have never forgotten I suppose, am not sure if waitrose would be any more understanding if the same thing happened.

I hate M&S for lots of reasons. A ban wouldn't bother me as I have banned myself anyway!

MmeLindt · 28/03/2009 19:35

Did you offer to pay for the banana?

Seems like an overreaction but from your OP you don't really sound as if your reaction was apologetic.

differentID · 28/03/2009 19:36

Working in Retail, the phrase "do you know how much I spend in here" is one that everyone trots out. shops don't give a flying f**k about how much you spend. It doesn't matter how much you spend- it matters If you eat an item that cannot be accurately paid for then it's stealing. Stores care about stealing.

differentID · 28/03/2009 19:37

I will say it was overkill however.

Sorrento · 28/03/2009 19:37

The police wouldn't even attend for less than a £20 item, handy to know isn't lol
I would have offered to pay though or next time pick up a packet of banana's that have to go through the scanner.

ChippyMinton · 28/03/2009 19:38

YABU
Why didn't you pay for it? Surely you had the soggy skin to remind you?

I'm sorry but that is a typical 'rules don't apply to me' reaction. I bet you are the type that complains if caught speeding too.

BoffinMum · 28/03/2009 19:38

YANBU - it is really easy to do things like this by accident.

They should have just mentioned you had apparently forgotten to pay for the banana and invited you back to the till. M and S must really resent having customers in there cluttering up their shop, particularly high spending families.

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 28/03/2009 19:39

I don't like your casual attitude to stealing as you should immediately have apologised and offered to pay.

bet that would have got you off the hook, instead of your "I'm better than all the common shoplifters dont cha know attitude"

LaQuitar · 28/03/2009 19:39

I agree with everything Ewe have said.

Lol at 'do you know how much i have spent'

and very at ' i was well dressed and presented'

BoffinMum · 28/03/2009 19:40

I do think apologies are in order when one cocks up, btw. But we are all human.

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 28/03/2009 19:40

I would be profusely apologetic if I had forgotten to pay for something

ForeverOptimistic · 28/03/2009 19:40

You haven't said whether you offered to pay for the banana.

I did the same once in waitrose with a packet of rice cakes but I just put the empty packet on the conveyor belt and paid for them after they had been eaten.

Did you forget to pay or had you not intended to pay? It is not clear from your OP.

mollyroger · 28/03/2009 19:47

I'm sure this must be a wind-up thread.

Tanith · 28/03/2009 19:49

No, never been in that situation. I NEVER reward a tantrum, let alone expect the store to pay for the treat. Whether you intended to pay at the checkout or not is irrelevant. The banana was not yours to give until it was paid for.

wotulookinat · 28/03/2009 20:02

57p for a banana?

ForeverOptimistic · 28/03/2009 20:04

That passed me by. In Waitrose it is only 22p for 2. Was it really just one banana she consumed?!

BradfordMum · 28/03/2009 20:05

I too think this is a wind up.
Have the school holidays started already?!