to say M&S is not family-friendly !!

[GLS]

Hands up if you've ever had one of those moments in a supermarket where your 2 year old is throwing the world's greatest tantrum and you're caught with no milk or snacks. Today I was in M&S at Lakeside. It was packed. My toddler decided to let loose with a super-dooper tantrum so I grabbed a banana to settle him as I tried to do the shopping as fast as I could without seeming like a crazed woman! The check-out queue was a real challenge but luckily a kids mag was the perfect distraction. So I checked out, paid the bill and was leaving the store only to be stopped by a security guard who said "Do you know why I'm stopping you?" I wondered if I'd won some prize like being the 1,000th shopper or something. He persisted in asking me "Do you know why I'm stopping you?" I hadn't a clue. Did they want my feedback on my customer experience perhaps? He escorted me off to a room where I was advised that I had stolen a banana from the store without paying. I had completey forgotten about the banana! After just spending £50.57 in the store I said sorry but you're kidding right? He advised me they were calling the police! After full-on interrogation & full personal data checking, and 30 minutes of ridiculously wasted time, I was advised I was being issued with a letter barring me from ever entering another M&S store ever again, and if I did police action can be taken. I said "Do you know how much I spend at M&S every year?" (the answer is around £3,000+ pa!). I was well-dressed and presented - not your average hoodie with that 'repeat offender' type of look! So there you go. I'm sure shareholders should be worried if this is M&S' practice on mothers! What's your opinion?

There have been similar posts on mumsnet before: see here
Any more and they will start training their security guards to look out for mumsnetters (maybe whispering AIBU to buggy pushers?)

This OP has been done before... I remember the phrase 'barring me from ever entering another M&S store ever again'... was something put on top of the buggy last time...

Er they banned you because you stole! So sorry but having worked in M&S how many times have I heard the phrase 'do you know how much i spend in M&S' well actally no but what I do know is you stole from the store and forgive me if don't know your previous. My buggie bound ds once stole a hat whilst shopping...did i think it was ok beacuse i'd bought things in the shop and spend alot annually in shop, no I ran back to the shop and gave it back because it wasn't mine! Don't give your DS produce if your going to forget about it!!! Have you ever thought about how many people 'forget' to pay for things?

Having worked for years as a manager at M&S then they followed their procedures to the letter. Ideally of course, they could have suggested that you pay for the banana but how did they know that you don't go around stealing food all the time. Sure you probably don't but lots of people do start off with the odd item and it grows rapidly to more things. The fact that you were well dressed and had spent money is irrelevant, most of our shoplifters were well dressed women with small children. I don't think that they'd actually prevent you from entering any m&s store again, but if you did get caught more than once then your picture would be round the local stores in seconds.

I agree a banana is nothing and it's easily done but tbh they do need to cover their backs as often it's not just a banana.

do you think the OP is an undercover security guard from M&S trying to let us all know they're watching us

i agree with others.....banana not the best choice of temper tantrum food....am shocked at how they reacted to you over a banana - But i suspect you pissed them off by acting all hoity toity and presuming that cos you are perhaps reasonably well off they should somehow not think bad of you

This thread is absolutely bananas
How to avoid being banned from M and S
1)Don't give food for tantrumming toddlers.
2) Pay for all food at checkout.
3) Leave evidence in an obvious place to
remind you to pay .
4)Remember to climb off high horse when caught!

and a wee bit contrition goes a long way not squawking do you know how much i spend in your tawdry store

tends to get folk back up (esp whrn you are a thief)

bont ask me why

Have read whole thread!

Feel it's only fair to tell you about the "other" side of M&S. Only because I can see why the OP would want to complain, loudly, about her experience, but people very rarely say if they've had a positive experience. Given that, I feel I should. So:

I'd just moved to our new house and was out fetching something or other and fell over in the street.

It was a bad fall and I partially broke it with my hand, which swelled up and I couldn't move my fingers.

I was very shocked and in a weird, disoriented and very shocked state, i wandered into the local M & S.

The security guard took me off to a little room, called for the first-aid trained person (they have one in every store, apparently,), who came and checked my wrist/fingers weren't broken. She then made me sit there, and went off to get me something to drink, while the shock wore off. And no, she didn't charge me/wouldn't accept payment. She even offered to 'phone for a taxi to get me home! (Which I declined - by that time, the shock was wearing off and I was feeling a bit silly).

And I wasn't well-dressed - I looked very scruffy and grubby.

So, the OP had a very unpleasant experience but I don't think you should extrapolate their whole customer service ethos from that.

Agree bananagate sounds a bit heavy-handed.

Well, I'm now truly fed up...............I have some fantastic banana pictures (don't ask ) and can't post them on this thread!

But surely a banana is a perfect temper tantrum food? High energy will raise the blood sugar. The mistake was that the OP didn't take it from a pre-packaged bag that didn't need to be weighed.

FWIW, my usual weekly shop involves presenting an assortment of opened and half eaten items at the till - my DS will usually eat a banana or orange, half a punnet of strawberries, a pouch (or 2) of petit filous, and 1 or 2 rice cakes on the way round. (And that is after giving him lunch ). I always present the packaging at the till though.

I wonder if my local Sainsburys have me on permanent shoplifter watch? Half the time I wander so aimlessly around the store that even I think I must look suspicious.

Message withdrawn

The OP might have started off intending to pay for the banana (or not) but her mistake was being increibly rude and she deserves what she got imo.

incredibly

Total over-reaction on the part of M&S, but a good reminder of why you should support your local shops anyway. IME, they would have taken your child out the back, given them some of the tuna salad they were going to have for their lunch, played with them and given you a coffee and time to sit down and read a magazine for 20 minutes.

But perhaps I have an exceptional local grocer.

LOL ScottishMummy±

Just to correct an incorrect statement from a previous poster - the police WILL attend if the item is under £20. I worked for the police before I became a SAHM, and the majority of shoplifts are for £20 or under. If the offender is stopped by store employees, the police will attend regardless of the amount of the item stolen. Even if it's just pennies.

I wouldn't even consider taking a toddler shopping at Lakeside on a Saturday. It's just asking for trouble in my view.

Agree with ninedragons, where possible shop locally. Toddlers far prefer taking their time and helping you choose things.

Bit sad at how people on this thread have condemned OP, Boden cardi or no Boden cardi. Wouldn't it be a nicer world if people were encouraged to fess up and pay up and told off nicely with a twinkle in the eye, rather than being treated like the spawn of Satan? Are we going to start chopping off people's hands over banana theft next? Or deporting them to far flung reaches of the globe? Won't a bit of humanity and gentle pressure in the right direction to Do The Right Thing achieve much more in cases like this than ritually humiliating people?

Most people are pretty honest underneath - if you don't believe me, go and stand in a lost property queue at any transport facility and see how many wallets and briefcases are being handed back to their owners with the contents intact. It always warms my heart to see things like this.

And it's a funny old world when it's OK to more or less rip off an investment fund so you get a whopping end of year bonus, with no real consequences, but inadvertent banana theft gets you a major rollocking and slamming on a thread like this.

"God help any elderly people whose memories aren't what they were who erroniously wander out of a shop with something in their hand if there are this many kind hearted people around... "
I think this would have all ended differently if she'd just apologised and got her purse out

I do not shop at M&S but wherever else I have baught bananas, they are either in a bag or have a little "hook" with the price on it so even if you take a banana out for your children whilst shopping, the correct price is there. Maybe M&S should use a similar system to make sure everything is payed for?

OP YABU to have reacted the way you are("You are kidding right?") Taking without paying is NOT allowed for anyone. It does not matter how much money they spend in said shop or wether or not they are hoodies. An appology would probably have been better!

This is indeed true Stealth, grovelling and self-deprecation works wonders in such circumstances, just like when you are stopped for a daft traffic violation and so on.

However I think attack was a form of defence in the OP's case and if the security guard had been a bit more sanguine he could have calmed the situation down more effectively.

I walked out with a bottle of wine in the hood of my buggy the other day and got half way down the road before realising. When I took it back they seemed totally nonplussed and looked annoyed that they would have to put it back on the shelf (I left it with someone as I was v late by then).

Ah, but the security guard has his quotas to meet and his job to justify so he has to apprehend someone.

And a woman with a child is a much easier target that a grown man or group of teenagers. He definately picked on an easy target.

Not that that excuses the OPs behaviour though.

Quite right Scumdog.

We have the reverse problem in Waitrose with inadvertent shoplifting. When my DH goes and uses the self-scanning thing, he often forgets to deduct things he has changed his mind about and put back on the shelf. It can work both ways, absent-mindedness.