To ask DH to bring a couple of bits of shopping home?

[starsnstripes]

Emailed DH to ask if he would bring some milk and bread home on the way back from work as thought I had some in the freezer.

He replied "Yes ok"

Then he sent a seperate e mail titled "Why"

It read
"why are running out of basic items?"

Know that sounds pretty tame but he has been really agrumentive recently and questioning everything I have'nt done or criticising what I have done.

It's just another case of him being verbally abusive and controlling.

I didn't catch that it was his birthday on Monday.
No wonder he was sucking up for a while earlier in the week. He was trying to justify some kind of special treatment on his birthday and to abuse you if it didn't happen. Having read about today's events, he couldn't even get that right but that's no guarantee he consider his previous, very brief good behaviour to count towards that.

Stars, I hope "I think tonight has just confirmed everything for me." means you're not going to let him confirm it for you again even once more. I don't mean to scare you but, as he'll at work tomorrow, I hope you take your chance to leave then as I can't help having such a bad feeling about what may happen by the end of tomorrow

thinking of you stars

Have just spent the last two hours reading your thread. I hope you and the DC are safe tonight, please don't leave it much longer before you leave him -he's a timebomb waiting to go off. Stay strong, and Good luck for the move xxx

Hi stars. Hope you had a peaceful night.

He sounds as if he is tipping over the edge with regard to the drinking. The other thing you might want to think about is that this level of alcoholism is likely to be effecting him at work. He may well lose his job and then be at home more. He will then drink more and be even more unpredictable and volatile and nasty to you. He will probably blame it all on you.

I think that when you do leave you will feel worried about him and guilty. Can I suggest that when you are safely away you contact his parents and explain that he is an alcoholic and that you have left him as you are worried for your safety and that of the children. Then he is their responsibilty. Doing that may absolve you of some of the guilt you feel.

Good morning stars. Thinking of you

Stars, seeing as you're on Pay As You Go, it doesn't matter which company you go with - it really depends where you live, as not everywhere is covered by mobile broadband. Do you feel comfortable emailing me to let me know where you are? Or rather where you will be - then if you like I can help you with which company would work out cheapest where you are?

Stars, I've been lurking for days but can do so no longer - please take care of yourself, get away, be safe!!
Thinking of you and sending hugs from very far away (Mistlethrush knows me) - (((((((HUGS))))))

stars woke up thinking about you. please let us know you are ok. birthdays can do funny things to people. i really think today is the day you need to get out of there. just call WA and tell them you need to leave, today.

God knows what he'll be like if he has "birthday drinks" which of course he will feel entitled to today. not that he needs an excuse of course, but birthdays are one of those dates that can make us feel even more emotional and in his current state of mind/behaviour i truly think he could be exceptionally dangerous.

please go. enjoy the easter break with your kids away from him. think of it as a short break if it helps but don't hang around.

Hi Stars, also a lurker who can lurk no more. I just had to write to add my love and support. The women of the world are with you in your hour of need, it seems. You need not feel alone. When you do walk out of that door, we will be walking beside you. x

Another thing I have been thinking about this morning as i potter about getting DS ready for school! I know you worry about removing your DC's from the stability that is their home etc. Stability is playing with Daddy in the garden all afternoon and knowing that he won't walk off and decide the pub is more fun. Stability is knowing that Daddy will be home every evening and want to chat about your day and his day and Mummy's day. Stability is not worrying that the key in the lock means more rows and shouting. Stability is knowing that Daddy puts his family before drink.

Yes they will be uprooted from their home and school. That will be hard on all of you. But the pay-off will be immense. The children may not see it like that straight away. They may well cry and be angry at you. But you are putting them first. As they get older they will understand that. And as I said before - this may actually save their relationship with their Dad.

starsnstripes, Another lurker wishing you and your children all the luck in the world.

PS. Once you leave home, you could use your local library computers to go online and usually the first hour per day is free !!!

stars, I think you'll find your ds is actually relieved to be away from his dad and your dd is young, she'll be fine with you

tell us you are leaving today

Morning everyne.
Thank you for all the good wishes.

Am in that numb feeling state of mind this morning ,which is usual after an incident the night before.

He left at 7.15am
I was still in the bed and DS was up in his bedroom but H never said a word to any of us.

PMSL-yes that's fine ,I will e mail you.
If you could let me have your e mail address please.

I would have thought after yesterdays drinking session he will not want to drink today.
He will probably be feeling sorry for himself.
Am a bit concerned I have'nt orgainised a card for him or presents.
But after last year when he was apperciative will say I wanted to ask him what he wants.
Maybe for his birthday I should just wrap up some bread and milk and put on the card
"see,I have'nt run out of basic items"

stanausaruswrecks-can't believe you spent 2 hours reading my thread.
Heavy reading before bedtime I am sure.

His drinking has always been fairly heavy and last nights incident has not been a one off.
He has always managed somehow to carry on and keep in his job.
He still gets up in the morning,in fact I can only think of a couple of times he rang in sick the morning after.

Forgotten DS had said last night that dad had told him when he went out he will only be half an hour.
Hate the fact he promises him and lets him down.

DS came into my room this morning and said out of the blue
"I know why dad did'nt take the car yesterday,he wanted to get the bus and have a beer"
So DS had obviously been giving it some thought.

Sorry ,that should have said
When he was not appreciative.

PMSL-is that sam dot mumfie or sam at mumfie?

Hello Stars, been offline over the weekend and unhappy to see you're still there, but happy to see you write things like 'wrap up bread and milk'. Strange to think of how far you've come since you asked that first AIBU question!!

Thinking of you and hoping that you find the strength soon. I agree with everyone who's suggested one step at a time. Why don't you try phoning WA again. Go on, do it now. I too am the world's greatest (worst) procrastinator and am currently putting off doing the ironing and hoovering the bedrooms. I blame it on my bump making me 'tired' but I know I'll feel better once it's done. Pathetic, I know, and I'll get up in a minute, once I've finished typing this. Go on, pick up that phone...

You sound amazing today Stars, really resolved. I bet you feel anything but amazing though.

I find it hard to believe that anybody can drink as much and as often as your H and it not have any impact on other areas of his life. I work with a couple of people who are heavy drinkers and you can smell it on them all the time, it seeps out of their pores. So even if, by some miricle he's managing to behave like regular human being at work, they must have noticed something.

Starsnstripes -It was very heavy reading- I can't believe what you've had to put up with over the years, just awful and you don't deserve it. Like a lot of the others on this thread, I woke up and thought of you. It sounds so cliched, but true.
I agree with Buda - it will only be a matter of time before his work do or say something about his turning up pissed. This will of course be turned around and it'll be something else that he'll twist and make you responsible for.
Have you seen your GP yet and talked to her? I hope you get away soon. We are all behind you x

Have been playing this a a lot lately.
Keeps me going.
(sorry can't do links}

what a great song!

Cracking song there, Stars! But don't let dreaming be all that you do.

(That sentence doesn't make as much sense as I want it to, but you know what I mean.)

Morning again Stars Have you had any luck getting through to WA yet?

Here's the link done for you, stars.

And Hi, minesacheesandpicklesandwich - join me over here on the procrastinators bench. My dses are on Easter hols, so I haven't even had to bother dressing yet. [waves] Anyhow - being here for stars is far more important than tidy beds and vacuumed floors.