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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask DH to bring a couple of bits of shopping home?

1004 replies

starsnstripes · 20/03/2009 15:42

Emailed DH to ask if he would bring some milk and bread home on the way back from work as thought I had some in the freezer.

He replied "Yes ok"

Then he sent a seperate e mail titled "Why"

It read
"why are running out of basic items?"

Know that sounds pretty tame but he has been really agrumentive recently and questioning everything I have'nt done or criticising what I have done.

It's just another case of him being verbally abusive and controlling.

OP posts:
purplesponge · 05/04/2009 21:23

That's some serious alcohol he's consumed in 6 hours then stars. He has a major problem that he just cannot see.

I hope he stays passed out until you've gone to bed. I take it he has work tomorrow?

Original poster
starsnstripes · 05/04/2009 21:24

sorry bratnav-meant to say yes it is good he has gone to sleep but when he is this drunk he has in the past woken and started wondering where he is and making a scene.
Hopefully not tonight.

OP posts:
Original poster
starsnstripes · 05/04/2009 21:27

x posts-purplesponge,yes he is truly drunk.
He has got work tomorrow and also my DS has an appointment tomorrow and he was going to take us.
Not likely now,no way is he driving us anywhere,the drink will still be in his system come 9am tomorrow.

OP posts:
ssd · 05/04/2009 21:27

stars, I don't know how you've hung on this long, anything is preferable to the life you now lead

purplesponge · 05/04/2009 21:27

Oh stars, I would just leave him. Don't try and speak to him, or help him, he will just try and lash out. If I were you I would do any jobs that need doing quickly, take your laptop and go to bed. He can sort himself out when he sobers up a bit. He won't let you help him anyway.

Remember though, if things get bad, ring the police.

ssd · 05/04/2009 21:28

where are you stars?

theDreadPirateRabbits · 05/04/2009 21:28

for you, but hopefully you won't have to be put through this for much longer...

Have you sorted out something for his birthday to cover your back? Kids made or making cards? Wouldn't want him getting suspicious...

Look forward to talking with you tomorrow - maybe after lunch?

purplesponge · 05/04/2009 21:30

And you're spot on about not letting him drive you anywhere tomorrow, he should not driving himself anywhere either. Does he always drive the morning after a bender?

theDreadPirateRabbits · 05/04/2009 21:30

Xposted.

Can you taxi to the appointment? (Maybe with all important paperwork in your handbag so you can decide not to go home again?!)

Original poster
starsnstripes · 05/04/2009 21:43

I will just leave him there.
He is bound to wake up sooner or later.

The children have made cards but I have not got him a card or presents.
Will try and ring tomorrow dreadpirate.

He always drives the next day after after a bender.

I can make arragements for the appointment if needs be.

OP posts:
theDreadPirateRabbits · 05/04/2009 21:46

How far does he drive to work? And what would happen if you gave his registration number to the police?

Original poster
starsnstripes · 05/04/2009 21:47

dreadpirate-he drives about 15 miles.

OP posts:
Original poster
starsnstripes · 05/04/2009 21:48

As for telling the police,have thought about it before but could never do it.

OP posts:
theDreadPirateRabbits · 05/04/2009 21:54

That's a long way to go when drunk. However, I have read that alocoholics metabolise alcohol quicker than usual (all the practice...) so it may not be as bad as if you or I were to try it.

Hoping you get a chance to call tomorrow (and that you get the rest of the night to yourself). Look after yourself,

xx

bratnav · 05/04/2009 22:00

Off to bed, but I hope you have a peaceful night stars

Flibbertyjibbet · 05/04/2009 22:06

The only reason I think people are saying why take the 2 weeks to sort your self out is that its the school holidays.

The earlier in the holidays you go, the more time you have to get the children arranged with schools etc and the more lovely time you can spend with them out of the shadow of their drunk dad.

Original poster
starsnstripes · 05/04/2009 22:21

He was just crashing around in the cloakroom and came out ranting to himself.
He was talking about work.

Then he asked me not to stand over him.
He reckons I have a twisted head and turn everything around he says to me .
He then went on to say am not saying anymore in case you are recording me.

He has now gone up to bed thankfully slamming the doors behind him.

OP posts:
clam · 05/04/2009 22:23

Oh God. He's not read this thread has he? From when I made that daft suggestion of recording him?????!!

Cazzaben · 05/04/2009 22:25

Oh my god..
Don't frethe must just be paranoid...

Original poster
starsnstripes · 05/04/2009 22:25

Thanks again everyone.
I think tonight has just confirmed everything for me.

He just came down and told me not to wind him up as that is what I always do when I talk to him.

OP posts:
Original poster
starsnstripes · 05/04/2009 22:28

x posts

I don't think so .
He may well have been referring to something at work as he was saying something about an audit he had last week.

He was talking rubbish.
When I went to get passed him to go into the cloakroom he said "you are not qualified to go into the toilet"

OP posts:
solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 05/04/2009 22:33

Keep your mobile handy. Keep it in your pocket. If you have to call 999 do it and don't hesitate. I think he is working up to something.

ravenAK · 05/04/2009 22:38

All of this - the megalomaniac pronouncements, the aggression - sounds like my dh1 in the throes of alcoholic psychosis.

I don't want to scare you, but I'd not be putting a 2 week time frame on your plans. PLEASE call the refuge, or your sister, or just go to a hotel....

purplesponge · 05/04/2009 22:39

He is off his fucking head, and he says it's YOU who is twisted! Oh the irony!

I'm glad this has firmed things up for you stars, but I'm not glad you've had endure yet another shitty night with this cock end.

Alibabaandthe40bunnies · 05/04/2009 22:40

Stars he sounds almost like he is hallucinating he's had so much to drink.

I am so sorry that this has happened, but part of me is glad that finally something has clicked inside you.

You sound so different. Calm, strong. You can move on from this and make a wonderful new life for your children.

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