To leave DD (10) home alone for 4 hours and expect her to cook lunch for our return

[Quattrocento]

Well, AIBU?

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm carbonara....

I look forward to having older dc now... ds1 is just 4 and loves cooking but his solo efforts in the kitchen have been notable for their lack of culinary success - filled enormous saucepan to the top (no water) with pasta, put in the hob and turned it on and when dh asked what he was doing said "he's cooking pasta for lunch he is hungry" as the stench of burning pasta filled the kitchen.
He has also microwaved ds2's monitor. He only gave it 11 seconds but it was enough.
So carbonara sounds a bit tricky for now although he is an ace biscuit basher - made cheesecake together today and he loves that bit!
We were allowed to cook at that age, but with someone in the house, I think (not in the kitchen, though). My mum was quite keen on us doing things for ourselves - were allowed to go alone to town on the bus younger than our friends etc. She also let me take my younger sister away youth hostelling when she was about 8 and I was 16 or so.

oh if we're talking boys and microwaves - my bro nearly set fire to my parents' microwave when he was 17 - he put the newspaper in it "to dry". Yes, he really did. He was crap at cooking as well (and any other sort of useful homey thing) until much older.

so i should expect to wait a little for my two boys to (safely) produce lunch? maybe 21...
FIL exploded their microwave aged 59 using metal tin.

From the age of eight, I was often left home alone to mind 3 younger siblings plus I was expected to tidy up the kitchen and sitting room before DPs arrived home otherwise there would be hell to pay.
Doesn't mean I agree with it, I would not leave 8yo DS home alone for 5 mins.
OP, your DD sounds like a trouper. I know at the age of 10 I was well able to cook. I'd say YA on the border of NBU

QC, you have done a great job :-) I don't think I've ever made carbonara from scratch. Actually I KNOW I've never made carbonara from scratch...

Clearly then girls can be left from 8, whereas it is frankly going it some to leave boys alone before the age of 52!!!!

Mybaby, your DS sounds like one of my APs. I caught one cooking frozen peas once without any water in the pan (ruined the pan), and another one left the gas on but not lit for ages until I could smell it upstairs (it's a big house) and nearly caused a major incident, looking at me vacantly when I had the temerity to suggest this was a patently stoopid thing to do. I mean, she had studied science at uni!!!!

And then people will complain about their MILs, BoffinMum, and not leaving their DHs alone suddenly becomes bad parenting! I have all DSs so think it is very important, that as boys, they know how a washing machine works and that I trust them to cook etc.

Too right, PiscesMoon, but boys get all adventurous and start extending their remit. It's what they are apparently programmed to do.

gosh....at some peopel so misconstruing (can't spell that word, sorry) the law....!

Like I mentioned, I think...I was a latch key Kid at the age of 10 (my sister was 4 years older but tried to be out of the hosue as much as possible)....my didn't have a choice...and I did do my own lunch (and as german tradition, it would be hot lunch)....
still wouldn't trust my son on his own cooking properly, lol....
my son has also on the odd times looked after his younger brothers who are now 4 and 6....but they would be in bed, and next door neighbours were aware and on standby, or we would actually be at the next door neighbours house....so far so good...

Yes children should be children as long as possible....but, I do think we also have a responsibility to encourage our children towards independence...mollycoddling doesn't do anything for anyone...

Bravo, My son is 4 and can get a cake together and I put it in the oven. He watches and helps with cooking, Uses a sharp knife with my supervision. He happens to be very careful child and sensible. By the time he's 10 he'll either be writing cook books or gone off the idea. Children need little adventures on their own, we need to help them trust their own skills. It not growing up to early it's having independent fun

umm, i think it is actually illegal to leave a child of that age alone for 4 hours, and i certainly wouldnt leave a 10 year old unsupervised in a hot kitchen, but hey ho, whatever floats ya boat

It is not illegal at all, loopy.

It is NOT illegal to leave a child of ANY age alone. There is NO LAW about it.

quattro,

I simply MUST have your dd's recipe for carbonara.

I'm gonna print it out for my dd(11 - if yours can do it surely mine can?) and am looking forward to staying in bed all next Sunday morning.

Please?

you're both right, have just googled,i find that quite shocking actually.
this is a piece from the NSPCC

Leaving children at home alone
What the law says

The law does not set a minimum age at which children can be left alone. However, it is an offence to leave a child alone when doing so puts him or her at risk.

I think it's quite sensible on the whole

I do believe someone's already said that LGP

Isn't it funny how people hear what they want to hear?

I think good on your DD, you obviously know her well and feel reasonably confident that she'd cope, or know who to turn to in an emergency. The only thing that would MAYBE worry me and I'm being incredibly pedantic is that something went wrong and no neighbours were in. But then you wouldn't go too far away so you could be back quickly... I think it's good really! Just had to convince myself there!

the recipe.....the recipe......pleeeeeeeeeese.

I know you didn't start this thread to share recipes, quattro, but am so fed up with cooking - tis time I got the dd's trained up.

Help!

Quattro, well done to your dd!

dd1 stayed alone at home at the same age, but I vetoed cooking in case she burned herself ("10 year old left alone by wicked irresponsible sponger SINGLE MUM to cook FAMILY DINNER scarred for life"). I would have left something in the oven, and instructions when to switch it on.

Sorry, just supervising lunch

Carbonara is quite easy actually.

1. Put some pancetta (or carefully chopped ham) in a frying pan
2. Add some seasoning, bit of oregano if you like. Don't add salt if using pancetta.
3. Add an onion
4. When the onion is translucent add a glass of white wine and let it simmer for a few minutes
5. Add a small pot of cream and some water
6. Around about now, boil a kettle and put some fresh pasta on to cook
7. When you take the sauce off the heat, add an egg yolk. It's very important to separate the egg white carefully otherwise the sauce coagulates.

well done Quattro junior!

Interesting how so many people are convinced that something they've just dreamt up is the law. Where do they get this idea from? Any why don't they bother to check before insisting this is the case?

ooo thanks quattro.

I guess the egg yolk is beaten first?

Sounds yummy, and better than my version. Will def get the dds to do it.

I am very impressed by your dd's prowess.

I find it interesting that there is a view that giving children responsibility and independence is somehow taking away their childhood. I would look on Enid Blyton's Famous Five as a golden age, I don't think that many children got that amount of freedom, but parents weren't worrying about them choking on apples or setting fire to the tent. While it was highly unusual to be sleeping on islands and tackling smugglers etc, no one suggested that they shouldn't be going to a shop on their own or preparing their own lunch-it was all considered perfectly normal. I would think that the things that take away childhood are too much exposure to adult concerns,watching inappropriate TV and films, too much time on a computer, 6 yr olds worried about body image, 9yr olds wanting make up, pierced ears and a boyfriend,7yr old worried that if they don't do well at school they won't get a good job etc. I would much prefer that they were left on their own, if they wanted to be, and that they had an interest in cooking lunch!

Hear, hear, PiscesMoon.

Have you thought of standing for election???