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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave DD (10) home alone for 4 hours and expect her to cook lunch for our return

227 replies

Quattrocento · 14/03/2009 14:20

Well, AIBU?

OP posts:
JackBauer · 14/03/2009 20:16

Well done QC for letting her prove to you she can do it! Now get her a cookbook
From the age of 3 until I was 9 my parents owned a restaurant that was on the ground floor of our farmhouse, teh chefs used half the kitchen and the other half was ours so I could have and did cooked a full meal from the age of 6 or 7.
The risk all depends on the child IMO, and QC obviously knows her own child (albeit a bit nervously!) so good on her.

DeeBlindMice · 14/03/2009 20:16

I think only you can know when your own child is ready to be left to cook unsupervised.

Having set rules about the age a generic young person should be allowed to do certain things and then applying it indiscriminately to all people of that age is ridiculous.

What a school can allow and what a parent's judgement can permit or encourage are and should be entirely different things.

JackBauer · 14/03/2009 20:16

Well done QC for letting her prove to you she can do it! Now get her a cookbook
From the age of 3 until I was 9 my parents owned a restaurant that was on the ground floor of our farmhouse, teh chefs used half the kitchen and the other half was ours so I could have and did cooked a full meal from the age of 6 or 7.
The risk all depends on the child IMO, and QC obviously knows her own child (albeit a bit nervously!) so good on her.

JackBauer · 14/03/2009 20:16
Xmas Hmm
mumto2andnomore · 14/03/2009 20:37

Poor girl bless her.

JackBauer · 14/03/2009 20:40

mumto2, whay do youj say that? QC's DD asked to be left at home and be allowed to do this, how is she a 'poor girl'?

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 14/03/2009 20:48

I would say poor girl/boy should apply to all those 10-12 year olds who have never been given the opportunity to cook a family meal by themselves. It is well within the competence of most children that age and they really do enjoy it.
Potnoodles indeed!

mollymawk · 14/03/2009 20:53

Wow. How lovely. I'm chuckling at the thought of your DD telling you to stop bugging her - Basil Fawlty-esque "Yes. Im doing it. I'm doing it NOW".

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 14/03/2009 20:58

DD1 made an apple pie today. It took her two hours - I thought I was never going to get the kitchen back - but it was delicious.

FairLadyRantALot · 14/03/2009 21:00

yeah...poor girl not really applicable at all...
think boys and girls are a bit different maybe...but that might just be mine...

Original poster
Quattrocento · 14/03/2009 21:02

It's great to hear about all the other children cooking - omelettes and apple pies and stuff.

FWIW DS is the one who is really keen on cooking (and eating too).

OP posts:
FairLadyRantALot · 14/03/2009 21:08

my es loves cooking...and can do more than supernoodles, really....but....I still would not trust him by himself using cooker....it's him...
who knows how I feel when ms/ys are older.....might be happy for them to use the cooker alone at that age....such an individual decision, really....

es does yorkshire puds, scrambled eggs, beans on toast, pasta and egg, supernoodles, eggy bread, popcorn, flapjacks, ...
not great, but getting there...

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 14/03/2009 21:10

Sounds like he does a lot already Fairlady. Why don't you get him one of the Sam Stern cookbooks. They are written by a teenage boy - DD loves them.

FairLadyRantALot · 14/03/2009 21:12

sounds good...got a student cookbook from dh, as I am now a student but haven't really looked at that....but who knows it might be good

Original poster
Quattrocento · 14/03/2009 21:14

That's interesting LGP. I'll have a look at those. They've kind of outgrown the baby baking books and not really into Nigella/Delia yet.

OP posts:
Squiffy · 14/03/2009 21:19

Echoing an earlier post I remember rocking up to my first cookery class at grammar school a couple of weeks after my 11th birthday and being horrified that the first lesson was 'lemonade' and the second lesson was 'scrambled egg' - I'd been cooking for years at home.

Saying that, I had the kind of mother who wouldn't let me stay at home alone till I was around 15.

Squiffy · 14/03/2009 21:23

Q, I bought the Jamie Oliver 'ministry of food' book for the au pair to use, and reckon that is also perfect for kids to use - though probably less cool (sic) than a book written by a teenager. I have even started using some of his recipies myself for the kind of comfort food that I have always 'thrown together' before...his meatloaf is a triumph.

elastamum · 14/03/2009 21:23

Well done you! My DS who has just turned 8 point blank refuses to leave the house if I have to go and pick his brother up so I frequently leave him in alone with 2 large dogs for company. At 11 i used to let myself in some days and get the dinner on. The idea that a 10 year old shouldnt cook a meal by herself is an unfortunate sign of the times

FairLadyRantALot · 14/03/2009 21:26

Jusat thinking back..by age 10 I was a latch key Kid, cooking by myself and all sorts...

MamaMaiasaura · 14/03/2009 21:27

wow. Feel guilty as dont think i would let ds do that for my own fears of it going tits up.. I am actually at the fact that i am not demonstarting more faith in his ability (although at 13 i set the toaster on fire)

MollieO · 14/03/2009 21:33

My ds (4) gets his own breakfast so I'm looking forward to some corden bleu cooking when he is 10!

dylsmum1998 · 14/03/2009 21:45

my ds regularly cooks, and has done since he was 7/8. he can cook a meal for 3 very well, with me in a different room. he got the Jamie ministry if food book for christmas, and the gordon ramsey one (frget what its called something like quick meals/ fast food)and regularly cooks from them. both my children help with meals everyday, dd is 2 and loves cooking
he is 10 now, i havent left him home, but i dont know my neighbours to leave him
qc well done your dd she did great.

mumto2andnomore · 14/03/2009 21:57

Poor girl because she should be having fun with her family or friends at the weekend, nor stuck on her own in a house ! My 9 year old was at swimming and ballet this morning.

As for cooking unsupervised words fail me I dont understand this rush for them to grow up they are children for such a short time, let them enjoy it dont rush it away. Cooking is great but do it together.

Seems like Im in a minority on here !

FairLadyRantALot · 14/03/2009 22:00

rofl at kids that age needing fun with family....my ds prefers friends or his own company....

and swimming and ballet...sounds a bit much if you want to do either well and proper....but that is just me talking from the had to cycle to class for 1/2 h by myself perspective before getting to any class

Habbibu · 14/03/2009 22:01

But she wanted to stay, mumto2! And at her age I wanted to cook unsupervised, and did, a lot. It was the start of a lifelong adoration of cooking - still one of my favourite things to do, and I still love to do it alone. Just because you wouldn't have liked it doesn't make Quattro's dd a "poor girl".

I'd rather have stuck pins in my eyes than do ballet, but it doesn't mean I pity your daughter.