Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think perhaps this wasn't the most appropriate way to bf baby in a public place?

464 replies

lollipopz · 27/02/2009 14:29

OK I am usually all for breast feeding have breast fed all 3 of my dcs and if they were hungry in restraunt on train etc I would cover and feed them, however this shocked me.
Was in supermarket last night with 2 dds aged 5 and 7. Dds had nipped off to pick up some juice when dd1 rushed up to me with a bright red face and ushered my to the next aisle. There was a woman standing with her shirt unbuttoned feeding a baby who was sat upright in a trolley so every one that walked by could see exactly what she was doing and also had a clear view of her other boob that was hanging out her bra . Not only that the baby must have been about 7 or 8 months and was straining to reach as she sort of crouched to it's level.
Surely this is not the best way and she could have left her trolley and went into the baby room she didn't have that much stuff in there any way.

OP posts:
Dalrymps · 28/02/2009 12:15

Lol now that would have to be a long breast indeed

foxytocin · 28/02/2009 12:29

was she bfing in the dairy section? i'm sure it was alt=ready ask but i can't trawl thru 400 posts to find out.

StealthPolarBear · 28/02/2009 12:32

it was the juice and crisps aisle I think

wastingmyeducation · 28/02/2009 12:32

next to the fruitshoots I think foxy!
giantkatestacks, I stopped leaking at letdown well before DS was that age.

foxytocin · 28/02/2009 12:33

i agree with giantkatestacks at 11:40:36 any way. I want to see the CCTV tapes before I believe it happened the way this OP said.

BananaSkin · 28/02/2009 12:45

Good for her feeling relaxed enough to do it there. Personally I fed everywhere and anywhere, and would happily walk through [some] shops feeding. But, I was covered up and most people wouldn't have known what I was doing. That said, I didn't have much to hang loose - I guess if you are big busted you might not have much choice. Perhaps she had a bad back and couldn't sit on the floor?

honie · 28/02/2009 13:28

I once saw a women walking around the fruit and veg section feeding at the same time, whilst not offended (although she could have put the spare booby away!) I was a little disturbed by the thought of 'spray' hitting any of the goods on sale, good for baby, but not my cuppa tea!

StayFrosty · 28/02/2009 13:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HenriettaJones · 28/02/2009 14:39

I saw this thread title and was ready to be shocked and appalled by the OPs intolerance, and yet....

IMO - YANBU

Ok, I am pro breastfeeding and I did bf DS until he was 13m. (including on park benches and probably supermarket benches) And I do feel that each mother has the right to find her own way, to do things in the way she feels most comfortable. It is also a pertinent point that we don't know exactly what happened from this mother's point of view.

BUT just because she has a "right" to bf in this way, does not mean that we all have to be comfortable with it, or that we are trolls for having an opinion on it.

The people using the Nuts magazines argument - you are assuming that we all are fine with lads mags! I don't particularly like them, I don't particularly like low cut tops, I don't particularly like builder's bum, I don't particularly like the idea of a woman squatting down with her boobs out over a shopping trolley feeding a child. These things do not have to be mutually exclusive!

We are NOT tribal women! They don't take vitamin supplements in the amazon. They don't have central heating. They don't wear Boden. We're in England. And it's like Libras says, we have a lot that nature has given us, but in our culture we don't necessarily reveal these things in public. It is not unreasonable to feel shocked or surprised at something which we don't see every day. Squatting half naked in the crisps aisle.

It's not about her breastfeeding, it's about not taking her child out of the trolley, and about having both boobs out. It's an image of carelessness. Her choice, yes, but our choice to have an opinion. And by making the choice she made, she chooses to mark herself as a certain type of person.

I would also like to point out that as a "judgy mummy" I don't like mothers who give their children bottles on the move either. It's bad for the child's health to not stop to feed. So don't be too quick to assume that people who are agreeing with the OP are necessarily doing so because they want limits on bfing. It's also about taking a bit of time to do things properly and not being lazy. (And before I hear gasps of shock, I am not saying this woman was lazy, because like many of you say she may have had a desperate need to do something straight away. I'm just saying that feeding is important enough to do properly. And it's contradictory to say that the most important thing a breast does is provide food and to then not consider this job important enough to take a bit of care over.)

Having said this, when DS was a newborn I was so hungry once (and didn't realise until he was firmly latched on) that I had to hold him with one arm while I made a sandwich with the other, it was a very tricky task! So I do get how difficult it can be.

wastingmyeducation · 28/02/2009 14:46

Henrietta, plenty of women don't stop to feed, they feed the baby in a sling or simply in their arms.

FrannyandZooey · 28/02/2009 15:06

"Squatting half naked in the crisps aisle"

oh ROFL

really you are all being very funny

i must remember next time i whip ds2 on for a quick feed when i am doing something else - i am not breastfeeding him, i am SQUATTING HALF NAKED IN FULL PUBLIC VIEW

and appalling 7 year olds to boot! my word
i hadn't realised feeding your child could be so very subversive and anarchic

FrannyandZooey · 28/02/2009 15:10

and to clear up a couple of suggestions - my ds2 is 7 months old and no way could i carry him and breastfeed at the same time, without a sling
i think the scenario in the op sounds quite uncomfortable for the woman but sometimes needs must
i have leant over ds2's car seat and fed him that way, while stuck in traffic - it isn't how i would choose to feed (that would be lying on silken pillows, being brought soft drinks and having my feet massaged by cheerful young men)
but still
who CARES
he got his milk, that is the main thing

the other thing - if he wanted a breastfeed and was offered a slice of apple instead he would ROAR
and quite right too
however maybe you would prefer hearing him screeching, rather than see me squatting half naked in the crisp aisle?

HenriettaJones · 28/02/2009 15:49

First of all, just realised I said we're in England of course many of you are in Scotland, Wales, Ireland. I am in England. Sorry.

Yeah, I didn't really mean it's not ok on the move it's the whole thing that chippin is saying, I wouldn't want to see a bottle propped up on a blanket (which I have done) and this sounds just as half-hearted. I think that's the issue here.

Ok, it MAY not have been, but it sounds it.

Also, I had read her as having both boobs fully out, and have since read the other posts that clarify this is not the case, so i take the half naked bit back! ;)

HenriettaJones · 28/02/2009 15:51

Also, the original question was AIBU "to think that perhaps this wasn't the most appropriate way..."

Who thinks it was THE MOST appropriate way?!

Horton · 28/02/2009 15:53

I can't tell if it was the most appropriate way because I don't know this woman or her child or how they normally manage feeding or the time constraints eg whether maybe she absolutely had to finish the shopping to go and pick up another child and was already late. It might have been the most appropriate way to feed for her and her baby.

foxytocin · 28/02/2009 15:55

"Actually. Some. Posters. Have. Mentioned. The. Age. Of. The. Baby. And. Suggested. That. The. Woman. Could. Have. Given. It. A. Solid. Snack. Instead. Of. Breastmilk."

And acksherly, breastmilk is a perfectly asseptible 'snack' to give a baby while rushing around doing the weekly shop.

(I bet you supernanny wouldn't agree with my sympathies though. )

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 28/02/2009 16:00

"Our culture won't change while people insist on their rights to do what they like even if it upsets others. It will happen slowly over a long period of time and the quiet, unassuming people are the ones who will do it."

LOLOLOL.

What, like votes for women, the movement against slavery, anti racism, etc.?

I think you'll find that every single social change that has ever happened, has been won by people not being quiet and unassuming. You can be as quiet and unassuming as you like, but no great cause was ever won just by the quiet and unassuming. There was a section of the suffragette movement that thought that, and if they'd been in charge we wouldn't have the vote now.

mrsgboring · 28/02/2009 16:05

Why does a breastfeed always have to be peaceful, reverential and full of quality time, yet it is okay to shove a bit of apple in the baby's hand while being wheeled round in a trolley? [for it to masticate horribly with its mouth open, drop half of on floor, choke on other half and puke up, thus causing revulsion to all bystanders, incidentally]

At seven months many babies are only just getting going with solid food and plenty are very difficult to feed solids.

beansontoast · 28/02/2009 16:14

what a great read this thread has been so far...loads of hilarious posts and others that made me all sentimental about b/feeding 'in public'

hercules1 · 28/02/2009 16:34

Yes, the post about social changes happening due to the quiet people!! ROFL

WHy should breastfeeding be a quiet, sitting down, baby in the arms time? Once a child is past a certain age a good % of feeds dont happen that way. An older child can latch on quite happily in all manner of "odd" positions.

THis thread should be renamed the judgey thread. I should imagine though the woman in question as someone else has already pointed out couldnt care less what these judgey people think!

hercules1 · 28/02/2009 16:36

I've cooked, dog walked, eaten countless meals, entertained, shopped, read, done jigsaws, mumsnetted plus a 1000 other things whilst breastfeeding.

Bumperslucious · 28/02/2009 16:39

Actually Franny, that stuck in traffic situation is probably when I have considered just leaning over DD. Never actually done it though.

So, if the baby was hungry and needed a snack which is better?

Vote:

A for leaning over and bfing while LO is in the trolly
B for taking some grapes before paying for them and feeding them to the LO

HenriettaJones · 28/02/2009 16:52

or
C taken baby out of trolley to give a feed

;)

Bumperslucious · 28/02/2009 16:53

But what if there is no where to sit?

HenriettaJones · 28/02/2009 16:59

Didn't someone mention cross-legged on the floor...