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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think perhaps this wasn't the most appropriate way to bf baby in a public place?

464 replies

lollipopz · 27/02/2009 14:29

OK I am usually all for breast feeding have breast fed all 3 of my dcs and if they were hungry in restraunt on train etc I would cover and feed them, however this shocked me.
Was in supermarket last night with 2 dds aged 5 and 7. Dds had nipped off to pick up some juice when dd1 rushed up to me with a bright red face and ushered my to the next aisle. There was a woman standing with her shirt unbuttoned feeding a baby who was sat upright in a trolley so every one that walked by could see exactly what she was doing and also had a clear view of her other boob that was hanging out her bra . Not only that the baby must have been about 7 or 8 months and was straining to reach as she sort of crouched to it's level.
Surely this is not the best way and she could have left her trolley and went into the baby room she didn't have that much stuff in there any way.

OP posts:
KingRolo · 27/02/2009 14:50

I'm happy to BF in public but I do try to bear in mind that not everyone else want to see my knockers so I try to cover up as much as possible. It's nothing to do with me seeing BF as wrong or unnatural or embarrassing or weird, it's just because there's no need to make a bloody song and dance of it.

People who do what the OP described are exhibitionists of the highest order IMHO - kind of 'Hey look! I've got tits and I?m not afraid to use them.'

Dalrymps · 27/02/2009 14:50

I don't think it was 'inappropriate', unusual perhaps. I wouldn't have the guts to do that myself but good for her if she does.

I think it is actually quite sad that our society has sexualised breasts so much that a woman can't get em out to bf in public without everyone getting all .

Nobody seems at all bothered that 'mens' magazines have massive tats all over the front of them every month ffs!

Of all the reasons to get your tits out in public, I think hers was the best reason. After all, you don't see those amazoian tribes covering up whilst bf do you.

wotulookinat · 27/02/2009 14:51

Can't have been comfortable for her or the child.
I think the point about the aisle was that it would be one frequented by people who might leer, ie the young men mentioned.
YANBU.

chainstitch · 27/02/2009 14:52

silly stupid method of feeding.

hunkermunker · 27/02/2009 14:52

Oh, fgs, maybe she thought the baby would be pacified by a quick suck till she got through the supermarket. Maybe it turned into a longer feed than she imagined and ended up being a bit more complicated?

I do find it interesting that people on MN are so keen to look at a weeny snapshot of someone's life, automatically assume they know everything about that person from that tiny glimpse, then come on here to ask for validation.

Can't you just, like, live your lives, smile kindly at people, offer a hand if you can if someone's having a hard time and quit with the judging at dawn stuff?

Doesn't it get tiresome, always being on judge alert?

Stretch · 27/02/2009 14:53

Okaay.....??

Joy27 · 27/02/2009 14:53

Poor woman, she was probably really frazzled and pressed for time with a screeching baby, and had to feed the babe somehow.

But in the juice/crisp aisle?!!

Personally I'd feel a bit squeeby about being so "out there", but a) I don't have a child yet, b) I feel quite in awe of someone who's able to be so free. I think it sort of rocks actually.

If men were leering or others embarassed, that's their problem.

Sounds a tad uncomfortable physically though!

theyoungvisiter · 27/02/2009 14:53

[applauds hunker]

Stretch · 27/02/2009 14:54

Not aimed at you Hunker!!

I agree though, I really don't see who it hurts??

Dalrymps · 27/02/2009 14:54

amazonian

ToiletRollCover · 27/02/2009 14:55

"Dump in the dairy cabinet" Rofpmsl!

wotulookinat · 27/02/2009 14:56

well said KingRolo!

Blu · 27/02/2009 14:56

What Coppertop said.

I guess she has her reasons...if she isn't bothered by leering teens (of all ages) then that's her business, not that of other shoppers, really.

You can see absolutely anything on the tv now, before-watershed age children shouldn't need to feel embarrassed, affronted or terrified by seeing a woman's breasts so whereas it is a bit uusual, what's the issue?

Blu · 27/02/2009 14:58

Agree with Hunker, too.

apostrophe · 27/02/2009 14:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ToiletRollCover · 27/02/2009 14:59

Hang on! The women was in a cafe bf ing her brother? OP is this right? Posted at 14:42?

independiente · 27/02/2009 15:00

V good point Dalrymps! Semi-porno mags boldly staring out in every supermarket. But no, it's the frankly breastfeeding mother who is 'inappropriate'.

theyoungvisiter · 27/02/2009 15:00

i think the "she" in that post is the OP's daughter - the OP was referring to sitting with her daughter in a cafe feeding her son.

belcantwait · 27/02/2009 15:01

crikey i used to feed dd as a toddler (fed up til she was 2) when we were out and about. often for eg i would be sat on a bench and she would be stood next to me like a baby goat bending down having a gulp or two! was prob kind of ridiculous in its own special way. so actually i feel a bito f an affinity with the supermarket woman

Threadworm · 27/02/2009 15:01

Other than it sounding a bit uncomfy, I wouldn't think anything of it.

Odd for a 7yo to be embarrassed. My 9- and 13yo DSs weren't in the least bit phased my the well-used stretch of nudist beach that our holiday walks took us through in Crete last year. Didn't really seem to notice.

Dalrymps · 27/02/2009 15:03

Thanks independiente

claireybeemine · 27/02/2009 15:06

I was pushing ds around ikea once and he leant forwards and latched himself on so I can kind of see how it's possible

But I did lift him out and hold him to feed him rather than continue to feed him leaning over the trolley, it was uncomfortable for one thing!

belgo · 27/02/2009 15:07

'I'm all for breastfeeding BUT....'

There's always a BUT. Always a condition. Why can't we just see breastfeeding as a totally normal activity and not raise an eyebrow when we see a women breastfeeding, in whatever position/circumstances? And can we not raise our children just to accept it and not be embarrased by it?

DaddyJ · 27/02/2009 15:07

Yes! Another cracking supermarket thread!

Tell us, tell us..which one???

I am tempted to scream ASBO but I think it's more likely to have been Tescos.

Bubbaluv · 27/02/2009 15:08

I feel Quite brave to have gone first on this thread now!
FWIW, I bf while walking around M&S and various other shops (discreetly) but if I had seen this sort of behaviour I probably wouldn't have as I would not want to have been lumped in with the Amazonian crowd.