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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think perhaps this wasn't the most appropriate way to bf baby in a public place?

464 replies

lollipopz · 27/02/2009 14:29

OK I am usually all for breast feeding have breast fed all 3 of my dcs and if they were hungry in restraunt on train etc I would cover and feed them, however this shocked me.
Was in supermarket last night with 2 dds aged 5 and 7. Dds had nipped off to pick up some juice when dd1 rushed up to me with a bright red face and ushered my to the next aisle. There was a woman standing with her shirt unbuttoned feeding a baby who was sat upright in a trolley so every one that walked by could see exactly what she was doing and also had a clear view of her other boob that was hanging out her bra . Not only that the baby must have been about 7 or 8 months and was straining to reach as she sort of crouched to it's level.
Surely this is not the best way and she could have left her trolley and went into the baby room she didn't have that much stuff in there any way.

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 27/02/2009 22:43

it's not a battle, the poor short forrin woman with the bad back was just feedin' her baby.

AitchTwoOh · 27/02/2009 22:44

lol at extreme bfing.

she could do the freezer aisle in preparation for scaling kilimanjaro.

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 22:44

wasting - I think you know what I mean by 'choose your battles'.

wastingmyeducation · 27/02/2009 22:46

I do know and I think it's not relevant in this instance. The only thing she's fighting against is prudish MNers attitudes.

Qally · 27/02/2009 22:47

A bloke had a go at me in the Border's Starbucks for bottle-feeding a month ago.

So - indiscreet bf in public is wrong, bottle-feeding is wrong. A woman's place truly is in the wrong.

Divineintervention · 27/02/2009 22:50

Dalrymps It's what I've been told... I will check as long as DCs Indiana Jones Cake isn't ready for icing before I find my proof.
It is why I thought you used a hot flannel to assist let down (is that what it's called??) and any blockage...... Now I'm uncertain.....

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 22:51

No, that's not what I meant, wasting! IMO showing too much cleavage is more or less on a par with a builder's bum hanging out of jeans (though the latter would make me vomit, which boobs wouldn't). What's prudish about that? I genuinely don't see this as a feminist issue.

Qally - I'm speechless.

chegirl · 27/02/2009 22:55

Dunno what I think really.

I do think we should bf where we need to. I certainly did. I live in a very low bf area and was a bit of an oddity amongst my friends. They actually said 'we didnt think you were the type'. Cos apparently there is a type - I think they were referring to the supermarket woman 'type' .

It just doesnt sound very practical to me. I cant quite picture it in my head. How do you feed a baby sat in a trolley. You must have to bend right over. Was she doing it whilst getting her crisps off the shelves? Ouch, babies have teeth at that age.

I think I wouldve thought 'must you do it like that, there is surely and easier way' BUT if anyone had said anything mean to her I wouldve jumped right in to defend her.

I suppose that makes me wishy washy or something. Oh well.

FrannyandZooey · 27/02/2009 22:55

oh i think everyone should breastfeed wherever they want, but that won't come as much of a surprise to anyone who knows me
it's just such a pleasant thing to do and makes any sane person smile IME
i was in a shop the other day when ds2 needed feeding and ds1 led me to another part of the shop, saying "there is a LOVELY place for you to feed him here mummy"
turned out to be in the middle of the beanbag display inspired! i thought "too RIGHT this is a good place" and settled down
another woman wandered past, did a double take when she saw me, laughed and said "i think i will join you"
she got a beanbag sat next to me and we had a chat
dp came back from buying hammers or something and did eye rolling at me
it was one of those perfect unexpected moments

Divineintervention · 27/02/2009 22:56

I can only find a website, in this short time, that sites poor let down causes: fatigue, being cold blah blah....

FrannyandZooey · 27/02/2009 22:59

if breastfeeding didn't work in the cold i think my ds would be a bit skinnier by now

Divineintervention · 27/02/2009 22:59

I was when I saw a woman very awkwardly and embarressedly(not a word but fits) fed her baby in John Lewis baby dept on a lovely rocking chair, she did look very coy about it. I so wanted to tell her that a new feeding room had opened about 10 metres away. But didn't because I didn't want her to think that I didn't think she should feed where she was!!

Divineintervention · 27/02/2009 22:59

embarrassed.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 27/02/2009 23:01

"I don't especially want to see another woman's breasts"

So don't look. Whenever you have these threads, anyone could be forgiven for thinking unsuspecting members of the public are being forced to watch a parade of militant bf mothers.

Qally how outrageous, what the fuck business was it of his?

FrannyandZooey · 27/02/2009 23:02

those baby rooms always smell of poo IMO
and don't have lovely beanbags or rocking chairs in them
bfing isn't a peculiar niche practise that needs a special ROOM to do it in
it's just part of life

FrannyandZooey · 27/02/2009 23:03

practice

hunkermunker · 27/02/2009 23:04

I'm just wondering - my eyes move side to side and my head turns from left to right on my neck and I can do a 360 if I so choose (seated or standing).

And yet people often talk about being "forced to look" at women breastfeeding. Why?

hunkermunker · 27/02/2009 23:05

Ah, my first customer at Shitbin Cafe.

Divineintervention, skinny latte? Would you like, er, sprinkles?

Gemzooks · 27/02/2009 23:10

I might think it was a bit along the lines of teenage girls who have that horrible visible thong thing, generally people have their bits out on display more these days, but fundamentally I would be very glad to see the baby getting breastfed... which would outweigh the maybe very slight feeling of 'oh she's not being very considerate'.

AitchTwoOh · 27/02/2009 23:12

rofl ay shitbin cafe.

MrsMerryHenry · 27/02/2009 23:12

Franny - I agree about bfing rooms - not necessary IMO. Though sometimes I found them a godsend when I wanted a bit of peace and quiet from the bustle of a busy shop.

I used to bf wherever I was - on trains, buses, anywhere and everywhere. I'd just cover up my breasts with a cloth/ my clothing. Why is it such a problem for some women to do that?

I've not said anything anywhere about being 'forced' to look at a woman's breasts, and I also note that nobody criticised my distaste at builders' bums on display . A bit selective, no?

Goodomen · 27/02/2009 23:14

I bf my dc at my Dad's funeral.

I have never thought more of it than my hungry baby needs feeding.

That's all there is to it. Hungry baby - feed baby!!

It's easy.

Divineintervention · 27/02/2009 23:18

hunkermunker, Now John Lewis feeding room is cleaned and nappy free.....

Litchick · 27/02/2009 23:25

I really can't see a problem with it. Baby needs feeding, mum fed it.
But please, lets not use 'other cultures' as a support. Women in Africa are some of the most disadvantaged, oppressed people in the world. Let's not think that because no-one bats an eyelid at breast feeding that they are somehow 'free'. It belittles their situation.

Qally · 27/02/2009 23:34

MrsMH - best thing? It was ebm.

I genuinely don't understand why people want bf to be uber-discreet. They're just feeding their baby, the simplest/best way for them. It's no big deal, surely? I've even heard a theory that one reason women in our culture struggle so much with bf is we rarely see it done, so have no model to draw on. More openly bf societies, and women think it's instinctive.