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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think perhaps this wasn't the most appropriate way to bf baby in a public place?

464 replies

lollipopz · 27/02/2009 14:29

OK I am usually all for breast feeding have breast fed all 3 of my dcs and if they were hungry in restraunt on train etc I would cover and feed them, however this shocked me.
Was in supermarket last night with 2 dds aged 5 and 7. Dds had nipped off to pick up some juice when dd1 rushed up to me with a bright red face and ushered my to the next aisle. There was a woman standing with her shirt unbuttoned feeding a baby who was sat upright in a trolley so every one that walked by could see exactly what she was doing and also had a clear view of her other boob that was hanging out her bra . Not only that the baby must have been about 7 or 8 months and was straining to reach as she sort of crouched to it's level.
Surely this is not the best way and she could have left her trolley and went into the baby room she didn't have that much stuff in there any way.

OP posts:
Bubbaluv · 27/02/2009 14:36

Lucky she didn't need to go to the loo - might have just taken a dump right there in the dairy cabinet!
More seriously, other than the bit about going to the baby room (hate those things) I agree that a little discretion goes a long way when bf in public. The kind of behaviour you describe just provides ammunition for those who seek to paint bfers as wierd and freaky.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 27/02/2009 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Meglet · 27/02/2009 14:39

multi tasking at it's best!

I won't even get changed in a communal changing room, let alone bf in the supermarket.

Original poster
lollipopz · 27/02/2009 14:40

Well thats what I thought apart from the fact that there were young guys leering at her. This was in the juice/crisp aisle.

OP posts:
MrsTittleMouse · 27/02/2009 14:40

Blimey, even my DD1, who was a complete greedyguts, could wait long enough for us to get around the supermarket by 7 months. I'm all for public breastfeeding and have fed both mine in all sorts of situations, but I can't help but feel that this sort of thing puts people off public breastfeeding.

Wizzska · 27/02/2009 14:41

I'm all for breastfeeding. I breastfed DS in public places but never like that. You can do it discreetly. I don't think you should hide the fact that you are breastfeeding a baby or have to go into some dark, stinking back room to do it but you also have to think of other people's embarrassment. There really is no need for getting your tits out in public. I agree with Bubbaluv, this gives ammo to the anti bf brigade.

notnowbernard · 27/02/2009 14:41

I'm pretty certain I wouldn't have fed in the way you describe (would have gone back to the car/used the baby room)

But I certainly wouldn't consider it an 'inappropriate' thing to do (as thread title suggests)

And wouldn't be embarassed or offended seeing it being done by someone else

Original poster
lollipopz · 27/02/2009 14:42

She was more embarrased by the situation I think she knew it was quite inappropriate she has sat with me bf ing her brother in a cafe etc and not batted an eye lid also she gets changed in communal changing and doesn't seem to fussed about flesh on show

OP posts:
notnowbernard · 27/02/2009 14:42

lol "in the crisp/juice aisle"

yes, she should have gone to the booze aisle for MAXIMUM impact

Nabster · 27/02/2009 14:43

I fed mine queuing to pay and the checkout operator had to be a 17 year old boy didn't he. He was like this

andiem · 27/02/2009 14:44

I would think how uncomfortable why doesn't she just sit down on a chair and take the baby out of the trolley

wastingmyeducation · 27/02/2009 14:44

I don't think I'd do it that way, but you can fuck off with your baby room. And what's your point about the baby being 7/8 months old? They shout louder!

Original poster
lollipopz · 27/02/2009 14:44

I don't mean the bf was inappropriate just the way she was doing it with no attemp to cover up and the baby didn't look too comfy

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 27/02/2009 14:44

"This was in the juice/crisp aisle. "

That's brilliant

Would it have been better in the frozen section, or amonst the toilet paper?

coppertop · 27/02/2009 14:45

It's not something that I personally could do but I don't see a problem with it. Why let leering men dictate what people can or can't do? Why should women have to hide away and cover up?

Stretch · 27/02/2009 14:45

I don't see how it could have harmed anybody though. Most adults (proper ones) would just notice and avert their eyes. It's a good way for children to see the normality of bf! My 7 year old DD wouldn't have batted an eyelid!

Original poster
lollipopz · 27/02/2009 14:46

Just mean it was sitting up right in trolley rather than a younger one that goes in the slopey seat, just trying to help form a mental image

OP posts:
Stretch · 27/02/2009 14:46

And I've found leering men to leer whether you've got your baps out or not!!

independiente · 27/02/2009 14:47

Feel exactly the same as notnowbernard.

shootfromthehip · 27/02/2009 14:47

Odd- it does seem a bit pushy- 'look at me, I am so chilled out that I will feed my baby in the middle of this shop'. As someone who also BF 2 DC, I am really pro feeding in public but that seems a bit silly. I was reading about a mum (not on here I hasten to add) who was shopping with her DH and got in the trolley to feed her LO (covered up) as her DH pushed her round the aisles. She shouted out what they needed and then he put it in the trolley beside her! Obviously some people have busier lives than I ever seemed to as I can't imagine doing either!!!

Original poster
lollipopz · 27/02/2009 14:47

Just mean it was a busy aisle, perhaps baby aisle would have been best

OP posts:
popperdoodles · 27/02/2009 14:47

Sounds a bit painful, just trying to imagine how she is managing to push trolly and get items of the shelf at the same time?? I sat on the floor to feed my babies in all sorts of places but would not have done what you describe. By the age it seems the baby was surely he/she could have been pacified by another means??

andiem · 27/02/2009 14:49

was it waitrose or asda? if waitrose I hope it was organic

independiente · 27/02/2009 14:49

And also feel the same as coppertop and Stretch. (I'm being v lazy I know).

theyoungvisiter · 27/02/2009 14:50

why would she have both breasts out at the same time? (confused) Or do you mean you could see the other breast in its bra cup?

Setting aside the appropriateness or not of feeding a child in a supermarket (personally I'm surprised you're shocked enough to bother starting a thread about it but hey ho) I just don't understand why she would deliberating get the other boob out just for kicks?

FWIW I have seen a woman bfing in our supermarket while doing the shopping and thought good on her (she was in the beans and tomatoes aisle in case you were wondering). I was pushing a screaming, newborn DS1 round at the time and if I'd had the nerve I would have fed him there and then too. As it was, I was too nervous/unselfconfident bfing in public at that stage so I didn't, I rushed round the shops practically in tears myself with milk spurting through my shirt and then fed him in the carpark - hope that would have met with your approval?