Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think perhaps this wasn't the most appropriate way to bf baby in a public place?

464 replies

lollipopz · 27/02/2009 14:29

OK I am usually all for breast feeding have breast fed all 3 of my dcs and if they were hungry in restraunt on train etc I would cover and feed them, however this shocked me.
Was in supermarket last night with 2 dds aged 5 and 7. Dds had nipped off to pick up some juice when dd1 rushed up to me with a bright red face and ushered my to the next aisle. There was a woman standing with her shirt unbuttoned feeding a baby who was sat upright in a trolley so every one that walked by could see exactly what she was doing and also had a clear view of her other boob that was hanging out her bra . Not only that the baby must have been about 7 or 8 months and was straining to reach as she sort of crouched to it's level.
Surely this is not the best way and she could have left her trolley and went into the baby room she didn't have that much stuff in there any way.

OP posts:
MarlaSinger · 27/02/2009 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 27/02/2009 16:39

It is only a problem if you are seeing the breast as exclusively sexual. If you see it as primarily in this instance, a piece of body for feeding a child, it is not a problem that the one not being used for that purpose just at that particular instance, is showing.

LGoodLife · 27/02/2009 16:40

Oh this is hilarious!!!! I just love it all - and fact fact that the op noted that it was in the crisp aisle!!!!!

FairyMum · 27/02/2009 16:41

Does your DD get embarrassed by walking past magazine-aisles with all the lads mags and porn-mags with semi-naked woman and their breasts on full display?

Do you never go on a beach in the summer because you might come across a topless woman sunbathing?

See, I think its the idea of breastfeeding a baby which makes people uncomfortable and not really the breasts. If it was the breasts you would complain about women in low-cut and tight fitting tops too because most of the time you can see more of their breasts/nipples than you can of a bf mother.

MarlaSinger · 27/02/2009 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

charleymouse · 27/02/2009 16:44

Oops HBLB by the time I had typed my post you had said it all.

I have to say I once want out for a meal shortly after having DD and had a lovely wraparound top that I thought would be dead handy for BF in a restaurant in, nice and discreet and smart. As it turned out the whole side needed moving away and I was very exposed. I had thought it would be perfect as I also thought blouses would be until I tried them, I did not wear the wraparound again for a long time.

MarlaSinger · 27/02/2009 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NKb1329fcX116e31c56d1 · 27/02/2009 16:50

HBLB, I don't see a penis as exclusively a sexual thing as it's needed for a man to pee, but I would be shocked at seeing a man with it hanging out in the supermarket.

StealthPolarBear · 27/02/2009 16:51

I thought wrap tops would be perfect as well...can't remember why, they are useless!

BoffinMum · 27/02/2009 16:52

I have done broadly similar things, but in this case I would have got the baby out of the trolley and held him/her to spare my back, tbh. I am quite capable of walking around the supermarket bf whilst continuing to shop. I would not flash my norks around too much though, because it's not necessary to make a big deal of it.

sweetkitty · 27/02/2009 16:52

I say good on her, huge well done.

I am not that brazen, I would have quickly got the shopping then fed in the car in the car park as I often do.

Today I was quite as I was in the GPs surgery and DD3 was moaning and it was feeding time and the GP was running half an hour late, they do have a designated BFing room so I thought, I really cannot be bothered with the staring today so I fed her in the room.

It's kind of a tricky one, theres a room provided so I should use it but part of me thinks why should I have to have a designated room, is it something to be hidden away? I don't think it's used that much as the receptionist nearly fell over when I asked to use it.

insertwittynicknameHERE · 27/02/2009 16:55

I have BF DD while walking round the supermarket, admittedly I did have DH with me so while he pushed the trolley, I held DD a BF'd her. I didn't cover up as such but I made my own BF'ing tops so you couldn't see anything.

wotulookinat · 27/02/2009 16:56

Are feeding rooms just there for mothers to feel less on display (can't think of a better way to put it!) or so that others don't feel uncomfortable.

I do get a bit annoyed at the whole bf'ing thing. Some people don't want to see it. Yes, it's natural and everything, but can be done discretely.

Wanking is natural but not acceptable in public.

BoffinMum · 27/02/2009 17:04

I don't think I have ever used a bf room in my life. I just push my top up a bit. Nobody has to see much then and I can carry on with the job in hand in the easiest way possible.

StealthPolarBear · 27/02/2009 17:04

But babies need feeding regardless of whether other people feel a bit uncomfortable or not. It;s not up to the mother to account for everyone's sensibilities, it's up to her to feed her baby.

earthpixie · 27/02/2009 17:06

I'm all for bfing and have done plenty of it myself (!), however, we need to get a little bit real about this. In this culture, breasts are private things. The lads' magazines that some posters have mentioned do not negate this - if breasts weren't 'private' then those pictures wouldn't be titillating.

So yes, a women with both breasts clearly visible in a supermarket aisle, no matter WHAT she's doing with them, is going to make a lot of people feel uncomfortable - if only because they would suddenly feel very aware of not making the woman feel uncomfortable.
It's not the breastfeeding that's an issue, it's the unexpected exposure of private areas of the body - particularly unsettling perhaps to a child or person from the older generation.

It's very possibly to breastfeed discreetly in public, so IMO, YANBU.

wastingmyeducation · 27/02/2009 17:07

wotulookinat - I try not to flash everything, but to be perfectly honest I couldn't give a toss whether other people want to see it or not. Not my problem.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 27/02/2009 17:07

I knew someone would come up with the comparison of breasts to willies.

But willies can't feed children. Breasts can, which is why they are not inappropriate in public while feeding a child.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 27/02/2009 17:09

No, it is not always possible to breastfeed discreetly.

And the continual call for discretion, makes breastfeeding sound like something shameful. Tampons are discreet, panty liners are discreet, brothels are discreet - why the hell should breastfeeding be? Why should feeding a baby be private? It is simply wrong to say that breasts are private in our culture - otherwise, WHSmith wouldn't be full of Nuts and Loaded.

GetOrfMoiLand · 27/02/2009 17:11

BClass: Have fed dd in the booze aisle at Waitrose - how Mumsnet is that? Was not wearing Boden though. quote of the week

wombleprincess · 27/02/2009 17:12

how the f did she manage that? but each to there own. dont understand why this would put people of bf?

motherinferior · 27/02/2009 17:12

Can I suggest you find something else to tut about?

I bloody hate this 'breastfeeding is OK discreetly line'. Stash yourself away, woman! Someone might see!

LucyEllensmummy · 27/02/2009 17:13

blimey - i was ready to come on and say yabu i used to whip my boobies out anywhere and wasn't too anal about covering up, but that was a bit much really. LOL i would have laughed

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 27/02/2009 17:13

Hmm. 10 points for feeding at Waitrose. An extra 5 points for doing it in the wine aisle. Lose 8 points for not wearing Boden.

earthpixie · 27/02/2009 17:15

But they are private in our culture - those magazines trade on their 'naughtiness' by ignoring that privacy. It's naive and insensitive to think that you can simply switch off the sexual connotations of breasts because of breastfeeding.

Why isn't it possible to feed discreetly?