to be fed up with everyone we meet going on about how tall my DD is?

[mugwumpy]

literally every mother we meet goes on constantly about how tall or huge or big my DD is. She is 19 months and wears age 2-3 clothes and yes she is tall but shes also very good looking (fact not biast mother!!) and has beautiful long blonde ringlets so its hardly like theres nothing else to say about her... Sometimes I just feel like people are so fucking bitchy and feel very defensive. I dont go round pointing out how short/bald/ugly/scruffy etc other peoples kids are but maybe I should....?

I'm with you OP. My dd is now 13 and very leggy and lovely. But when she was younger it used to irritate me intensly when people used to comment on her height as if she was a freak. I even had a friend call her neighbour to come and look at my massive baby. I was horrified.

Sorry OP, but you are just going to have to get used to it. Most people see being tall as an advantage (and this has been proven in sociological studies too), and they will always comment about it. I have a very tall daughter and a tall son, and they are both fantastic in many ways. But the comment they usually get on first acquaintance (especially dd) is "how tall" and "she's not really that age is she"? followed up by the well you are tall too (and dh is 6'5" so if he's around we get the takes after you comments as well). These are not bitchy comments! It is what stands out most, and it is neutral at the worst, and probably intended to be complimentary.

Both children are very proud of being tall, and I don't expect it to be an issue for them until dd hits puberty, when she will probably be taller than ds, and may be bothered about being taller than the boys she knows (I know I was). On the other hand there are plenty of advantages to being seen as older (although these very advantages will worry me!) I give them lots of positive feedback, and the fact that our family is tall should help (both dh and me are the tallest in our families which is more tricky). I do worry about dd being taken advantage of by older boys in her teens, and finding age appropriate clothes can be tricky (the most recent top we bought her was 12-14, and she is 8!!!!).

Celebrate her tallness! I am always having women tell me how lucky I am to be tall, and I'm bloody glad not to have to wear high heels

So you are getting defensive about this why? Because you think tall is bad? No, tall is good. Lots of data supporting the fact that height is an advantage in more ways than being able to reach down an elusive packet of coffee from the top shelf.

I think the differnece, which I now point out to my dd on a regular basis, is that she will definitely be called big. She isn't big, she is tall and very slim. I spent my adolescent years trying to lose weight, although I was already slim because I was constantly told how 'big' I was. It reminds me of somebody who I used to work with who was short, but quite frankly fat saying "is there room for a small one". She wasn't small she was short. My dd is not big she is tall. In reality there isn't anything wrong in saying a child is tall, there is something wrong in saying, as I said earlier a friend had, that a child is massive, or huge or big, cos quite frankly they often aren't and this follows them around for years.

I don't think I've ever been called big, or not to be worried about it anyway. dd used to be called big, but only as a toddler. Now she is very clearly in proportion, she just looks at least two years older than she is.

I did feel quite unattractive as a teenager though, but I might have felt that way even if I had been average height. My parents weren't great on self esteem development. dh has more negative body image issues than me (it is not necessarily easier to be tall as a boy/man), but I think that's from being both tall and thin and also quite clumsy.

My advice would be to make sure that tall children (well all children really) get to do something active that they are good at and their physique suits. I was a lot happier with my body when I started rowing, and dd really enjoys basket ball.

Not read whole thread, mine are both tall, but especially my three year old DD. People are always commenting and she's taller than some of the six year olds in DS's class (she's three), so I would expect them to comment. Since before she was three people have said "Aren't you at school today?" She's always been tall, she was born tall and always will be. I love it when people say "Isn't she tall?" and DD loves it too, she feels like a 'big girl' which is a great thing when you're three isnt it?

My dd is 4 and v tall and people comment on it all the time too. I don't get pissed off. I'm not insulted. She is tall. So what?

I think you need to calm down a bit.

Don't take it personally. My sister has the same issue. My niece is five and wearing a 7-8, when she was two she looked like 5 year old. People always asked her what her disability was when she was out and my niece would have a tantrum. My sister would say, "Nothing, she's two, so shut up"

I'm tall. My DC are uncommonly tall. We all get comments, but as others have said it's just to fill a conversational void. I rather like being tall though, so don't have any issues to project onto people who make what are almost certainly innocent remarks. And so I hope my DC won't either.

I did encounter a rather mad woman once whose opening gambit was to ask how tall DH was, and when I told her, said "well, that's not really tall enough is it. My dh is 6'5" ". Which was rather disconcerting from a compete stranger, but amusing rather than offensive, surely?

I'm tall too (5'11"). And I have to say there are different ways of being told you're tall. Sometimes it genuinely is a compliment and comes out as such. Sometimes it's just because it occurs to them and they just say it because they notice it. Douglas Adams has some very funny things to say about human beings' propensity to point out the very very obvious. I mean what do you say in return?

"You're very tall"
"Am I? God! What happened? I was 5'2" yesterday!"

But sometimes it's said in quite an aggressive way, and can be very upsetting. And generally by people who are intimidated by you. I think back at all the people who've upset me most by making comments on my height and they were - well, a bit inadequate in themselves in the main, for various reasons. Once, three years ago, a very insecure girl a fair bit older than me reacted to me being complimented by someone else that I didn't look like I was 30 (my age at the time) by suddenly saying:

"Yeah but you're TALL though aren't you? I just look at you and all I see is TALL. I once dated a married man who was married to a woman your height and you can see why can't you? I mean, it was a challenge to his masculinity isn't it? You can see why he needed to be dating someone else!"

I replied - more bemused than anything else "Erm - that's a little bit offensive"

To which she announced she wasn't going to be spoken to like that and stormed off.

If your daughter really is a bit of a stunner (and I'm sure she is , perhaps she is a bit of a magnet for the latter category. Wouldn't surprise me.

I'm very tall, my DC's are all tall.

When I was first almost seeing DP a pissed bloke was taking the mick out of my height, mainly because I had knocked him back, saying 'oh stand up, show us all how tall you are'(he was a shortie). My DP, who is a big fella, stood up and stared down into his face and said'she's THIS fucking tall, alright?'
just melted me heart!

i get it all the time anout my DCs too. I have a n 11 year old boy that people think is at least 14 due to his height and build.

PITA, but thats just life isn't it?

I think people think it is a compliment. My DS is very short and people never say 'gosh, isn't he short?' because obviously that would be a very mean thing to say, almost like saying he was ugly or something. Tall = healthy and attractive

Mugwumpy my DD is tall also. My HV told me "Don't worry if people thinks she is a bit retarded as she looks older than she is"

No I didn't smack her in the mouth.

It is funny now as people do sometimes think she is a bit behind as she looks older; but conversely they think DS born at 31 weeks is advanced for his age as he is was so small.

Just try to take it as a compliment.

I had people ask if my eldest had SN when he was younger, due to the fact that he looked like 5 year old when he was in fact 2.

But then, some peole have real problems, IYSWIM, and its not that big a thing, no word play intended.

I don't think it matters. My ds is very tall for his age so when he is acting his age (and playing up) I just say to him loudly that I expect better behaviour now he is 4!

What I found harder to deal with was when ds was a baby. He was a prem so at 6 months was still tiny. People used to stop me in the street to admire what they thought was a newborn and when they asked how old (expecting the answer to be one or two weeks) I'd answer and they'd ask what was wrong. It was always 'Eeew what's wrong with him?' I spent quite a while lying about his age as a result!

I do get why you are upset.My children especially DD2 are very tiny and I used to get very upset by people saying things .when DD2 was born the first thing the midwife said was 'Well,she's a bit SMALL' and I felt really hurt.
But at least with being small people do think its very cute on a girl, and I have obseved that adults in the school treat the dainty little girls differently to the taller ones and I think that is very unfair.

I too can understand why your upset and I don't think YABU. You know there is more to your DD than just her height but people will always comment. I am 6ft2 and have had comments all my life. Mostly positive but a lot of shitty ones too and yes it does get very waring.

My advice, as others have said, is be positive. My parents did a great job and I also had a very tall Aunt who was a great role model.

I had the opposite, people being surprised at Tink's size because she was a 31 weeker. I'm finding it funny at the moment that people are saying about Fifi "awww she's so tiny is she new?" when she's 7 weeks. It's only annoying in the "again?" way.

My brother was 6' when he started secondary school but has always been very skinny and people were always making comments to Mum, sometimes quite rude. We were in Fosters (who make tall clothes) and Mum said to the man "he's a 40" inside leg, 32" waist, what do you recommend?" he looked him up and down with a sneer and said "feed him"! Mum said "he eats plenty, but I came in for school trousers not parenting advice" (plenty as in one meal a day, casserole dish of cereal when he woke up and topped off with one before he went to bed). He even cracked his head on the canopy at High and Mighty!

I'm not sure why people feel the need to state the obvious regardless of how rude it is.

FFS get off your high horse!! People nearly always comment on my dd being tall and that she's going to be tall when she's older. I don't give it a second thought.

Aren't people allowed to say anything to you and your precious princess? Or have you totally lost the art of conversation. Perhaps if they called her ugly or strange looking you might react better?

You sound nice steviesgirl. Why so aggressive?

I'm nearly 6 feet tall and have never minded being tall. In fact, I have always liked it. Be positive about it. Say 'Yes, she is a lovely, tall girl' and then move on.

My DS is enormous for his age, too, btw, and I'm sure my DD (only 3 mths old) will be a big girl, too, as we are a tall family. I can't think of a single reason that it should be a problem.

People do make inane comments as part of polite conversation, don't they? We always get 'Isn't your DS's hair gorgeous?' (don't all^ mixed race kids get this? They must grow up to be bloody sick of it! ).

my dd1 is very tall. She always has been. She was in age 4 -5 clothes before she was 2.

It was the first and sometimes the only thing that people said about her.

I used to get upset about it because nobody mentioned her brilliant blue eyes or her infectious smile, or her kind and pleasant personality. Just her height and sometimes her big feet.

As she has got older, her growth has slowed down and she is now a slightly taller than usual 15 year old. Her peers no longer have to look up to have a conversation with her and she is no longer put at the back right in the middle for school photographs.

She's happy to fade into the background, but now she is "normal" I want my extra special blue eyed, smiley, kind girl to stand out so everyone can see how fab she is. Now she's just like every other kid her age.

Don't know if any of this helps or if I'm just rambling...

My mum was tallest in her class for years BTW and then stopped growing at 5'2!!

OP I know where you are coming from - I get exactly the same comments about my DD. However, I am aware that the 'isn't she tiny' comments probably get to people just as much - there is a mother at DS's school whose DD is 1.5 years older than my DD and the same height/slightly smaller - so which one of us should be worried when everyone else comments on that fact?

I do worry that with an October birthday she is going to be easily the tallest girl (if not the tallest child) in her year and that is not something that will be easy for her - DS had the problem of people expecting him to act the age he looked as opposed to his real age, but I think that will be compounded for DD.

I love our family photos from when we were younger. My 6ft7 Dad, his three daughters (bith my sisters are just under 6ft) and then my little mum, who actually is a very average 5ft6 but looks so wee. She often used to marvel at her huge brood.