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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up with everyone we meet going on about how tall my DD is?

155 replies

mugwumpy · 19/02/2009 07:31

literally every mother we meet goes on constantly about how tall or huge or big my DD is. She is 19 months and wears age 2-3 clothes and yes she is tall but shes also very good looking (fact not biast mother!!) and has beautiful long blonde ringlets so its hardly like theres nothing else to say about her... Sometimes I just feel like people are so fucking bitchy and feel very defensive. I dont go round pointing out how short/bald/ugly/scruffy etc other peoples kids are but maybe I should....?

OP posts:
dancingonmice · 19/02/2009 09:11

broguemum I think that people saying that in front of your daughter is terrible. I'm just shy of six foot and it has never given me any problems!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/02/2009 09:14

That OP is sooo nasty....the people who say it are just making conversation or indeed see it as a compliment to your DD, and in fact they don't know that everyone else says it either..

You don't come across as a very nice person from that OP I'm afraid

deepinlaundry · 19/02/2009 09:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

broguemum · 19/02/2009 09:29

@dancingonmice - thanks. I think it's awful too and it comes mainly from my SIL who I think is very sensitive that her children are extremely small for their ages. The temptation to say something horrible back is overwhelming but I won't do it - all I will do (and have done) is to ask her not to talk about it infront of the children.

[pompously taking the moral high ground emoticon]

purpleduck · 19/02/2009 09:30

I'm quite short, and I think height is a description, NOT a judgement.
People sometimes comment on how small my ds is. He is 9, and I think sometimes it bothers him.
When people comment on his size in front of him, I just say "Yep, he's the perfect size for a

VeryAnnieMary · 19/02/2009 09:39

Hi Mugwumpy - not read the whole thread properly but just to say that I'm 6' and throughout my life until I was about 25 people would feel perfectly happy pointing out how tall I was - sometimes not in a nice way either. I think it's the "tall = big = bad for girls" association.

But I do very much like being tall now and really wouldn't change it. It makes me stand out, lots of people are envious, and I can reach things off high shelves, what's not to like?

In terms of kids, people seem to like to comment on the "bleedin' obvious" without thinking whether it may sting or even having another reason to say it. Make sure your dd is proud of her height and stands up straight all the time to emphasise her beautiful amazonian length.

As an aside - I hated being described as "big" rather than "tall" so I accidentally described a shorter friend as "short". Hearing her say it I realised she'd prefer "little". I think sometimes people hear more than the speaker is saying.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/02/2009 09:45

deepinlaundry - the OP might well be a very nice person, but I don't think that post is very nice, was what i am trying to say, calling people "fucking bitchy" and saying their kids are "ugly" "scruffy" etc is pretty nasty IMO.

mej3 · 19/02/2009 09:49

HiMugwumpy, I know what you mean. People always seem to feel the need to comment on something. What is wrong with just saying when commenting on someones child "he/she is lovely".

CHEQUERSmate · 19/02/2009 09:50

My DD (6 months is tall), so is her Daddy (6ft5), it's just a fact, not an insult.

Unlike the comment made by a friend who said she was very chunky, especially for a girl!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/02/2009 09:50

I must point out that my DD is very tall and people often comment on it and I just say "yes she is", it doesn't bother me at all..

VeryAnnieMary · 19/02/2009 09:51

Friend's DD was a little bit premature and then friend had trouble bf. Comments about how small her baby was really cut her to the quick - she's normally very level headed about stuff but reacted very badly over something she was sensitive about.

Think some comments get "lost in translation" sometimes when the hearer hears something different to the speaker's meaning.

SweetCheeksLovesSweetTalk · 19/02/2009 09:51

I dont think there is any need to start personal attacks on the OP TBH. When I read her OP, I didn't think she was horrible or a nasty person, I thought she was obviously upset and needed help and advice, not insults.

But thats just my opinion.

Lizzylou · 19/02/2009 09:52

She may not always be tall either, DS1 has been tall for his age, then about average, then tall and on. All to do with growth spurts. He was also very chubby as a baby and toddler, he is now postively rake-like.

I do know how comments can hurt, even if they are not meant to. I once had to be physically restrained from a man in a shop who said DS1 (then a baby), looked like Wayne Rooney .
I always got the "aren't they big?" comments on both boys, sometimes followed up with "but then you are too". NICE. But, as I have said things like that without meaning to, I shrugged comments off.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/02/2009 09:55

SVLST - I just said the OP might well be a very nice person but that isn't a very nice POST, I just worded it wrongly the first time. And that is just MY opinion

Fairynufff · 19/02/2009 09:55

Perhaps they feel that you are smug about your tall, ringletty princess and they are aware of your 'short/bald/ugly/scruffy' judgemental attitude and are trying, in a small way, to bring you back into the real world?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/02/2009 09:56

It's actually a bit disturbing that I could say someone's kid was tall, which I have done, and people also say to me, and they would actually be thinking "what a fucking bitch, I really want to tell her her kid is ugly" tbh

deepinlaundry · 19/02/2009 09:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hulababy · 19/02/2009 09:59

Maybe when we meet people with a child or baby we best not say anything about them at all???

Looks is wrong
Height is wrong
Name is wrong

Hmm... what can we say that is acceptable to all?!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/02/2009 09:59

I agree, it's scary to think there is all this unspoken resentment bubbling away under the surface at toddler group while one is just making innocent conversation isn't it!

nickytwotimes · 19/02/2009 10:00

When I read the title, I was all set to come on and be sympathetic.

When I read the OP, I thought it was quite mean and spiteful.

People are just making small talk. It is nothing to get upset about . I am tall, so is dh and so is ds. SOmetimes I get a bit bored by the obvious comments on his/our respective heights, but they are not meant in a nasty way. It is merely something to say.

SweetCheeksLovesSweetTalk · 19/02/2009 10:03

Fanjo - You must live a very sheltered life if you find unspoken comments scary and disturbing

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/02/2009 10:06

Yes I live locked up in a tower.

Err I wasn't being entirely serious about scary and disturbing

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/02/2009 10:07

Anyway must go, am venturing out into the scary real world to the supermarket, hope noone thinks scary and disturbing things about me or I might just pass out

deepinlaundry · 19/02/2009 10:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/02/2009 10:08

insulting? shall i pick you up some ketchup for the chip on your shoulder while I am out?

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