to be fed up with everyone we meet going on about how tall my DD is?

[mugwumpy]

literally every mother we meet goes on constantly about how tall or huge or big my DD is. She is 19 months and wears age 2-3 clothes and yes she is tall but shes also very good looking (fact not biast mother!!) and has beautiful long blonde ringlets so its hardly like theres nothing else to say about her... Sometimes I just feel like people are so fucking bitchy and feel very defensive. I dont go round pointing out how short/bald/ugly/scruffy etc other peoples kids are but maybe I should....?

Well my ds is small with a rather large head, and people comment all the time, even when he was in hospital with croup the consultant noticed how big his head was compare to his small body, so she sent him to see a genetic expert who did tests and x-rays (they thought he had a form of dwarfism) thankfully they turned out to be completely normal

He is now growing into his head and catching up with his hieght, i am sure other dc will eventually catch up with your dd's height

Toddlers can be funny looking things, but i would never take others people comments to heart as generally they mean well

So the rule is then - we just don't mention the child...must be the only safe way to go about things surely?

Since when did adults not comment on other adult's appearaances to then either? How many times do people start a conversation with things like "oh you have hd your hair cut" etc.

DD's tall, she's only just 4 and in 5-6 year old clothes.

I am always flattered when people comment on her height as it is almost always said in a 'isnt she lovely and tall' type way..

If they called her a lanky streak i might get annoyed but no-one ever has.

I think YABU.

I won't..unless they mention my DD is tall!

Deepinlaundry, I have said things that could be construed as insulting but weren't meant that way, I try not to but sometimes you get all flustered and blurt something out and realise that you've offended someone.
The comment "Oh, isn't she petite and dainty" could upset someone who is very worried about their child's growth.
I think I upset my SIL as I held her newborn son (my nephew) and said "Oh, he is so tiny, look at his lovely little hands and feet". She was paranoid as he was low birth weight (he was half the size of my DS's born, but they were big bouncers). I actually was using my stock phrase about newborns, once your DC hit 6mths+ all newborns look tiny.

As long as they say it outloud you'll be ok Fanjo, its if they just think it to themselves you'll have problems, because that is just scary and disturbing isnt it

YABU

I've lost count of the number of times other adults - friends even - have commented "ooh, have you lost weight?", and having got over the paranoia of thinking this means they think of me as fat, I smile and take it as intended, just making conversation/trying to be nice. So yes, adults do comment on these things.

Actually, I still get "aren't you nice and tall?" from shop assistants, hair dressers, you name it, and random people who meet 6 week old DD who is long for her age say "she'll be tall like her mummy." Adults comment on exactly the same things.

i understand how you feel....i doubt people would comment if a child was fat.. "oh isn't your dd fat".....i know being tall is a good thing (although not always)....but it would annoy me if i heard it alot.

OP, I think it's very unlikely that most people intend to be 'bitchy' about your child (or any children). If it doesn't bother you that she's tall/big/whatever, what's the problem with others commenting on it? If some people are doing it in an unpleasant way, call them on it in front of your daughter - I mean, find a way to say: 'I know, she's gorgeous isn't she?'. It would take a mad person to bluntly disagree with you in front of your child. That way, both the person and, more importantly, your daughter are left in doubt of how you view her.

I so know where you are coming from. I am fed up with comments about my kids being small for their age.

I remember when my daughter went for the entrance exam for secondary school and this stupid woman in front of us, turned round and in this baby voice said "oooh are you going to be sitting this exam, you look far too small to be going to big school"

I almost thumped the stupid cow, while my daughter just rolled her eyes!

SweetCheeks, your name is just so apt, you lovely sweet fluffy silver-tongued charmer you!

Thanks Fanjo

I haven't read all the posts, but my DD is tall too she has been in 3-4 clothes for a couple of months now and she is 2.8. It is likely that she will be a tall adult as I am 5'10", DH is 6'3" and my brother is 6'7". The only problem I have is as a very early poster said, they expect that she is much older than she is and as she is very developed verbally too, I don't think it is unreasonable for people to assume that she is three or even four, but of course her behaviour doesn't always match that assumption.

I think YABU for seeing it as negative, but I do understand that it gets wearing when people always comment on the same thing. It is always going to be something though, whether it is beautiful red hair or a gorgeous gappy smile. They are just things that make your DD unique.

yanbu.we get the opposite.how tiny my dc are!i am little so would be very odd if i had big children.

There are only so many observations you can make about a small child, though, all of which will probably sound either shallow, judgemental or creepy to someone. Of course as mothers we do see the absolute best in our children and it is suprising when strangers don't notice how beautiful/clever/charming the moment they meet them, but the fact is, they're probably just trying to make polite conversation and acknowledging your DD.

Get over it.

Your kids are only a source of endless wonder and joy to you. To most other people they are pleasant but generic small people much like all the other other small people and they often haven't a clue what to say to you about them, or to them.

Yet again on MN I wonder if if is wise to attempt small talk with any mother or woman of childbearing age.

Christ, how many times in our lives have we been engaged in conversation about the weather? It's transactional. It's just what we do as social beings. Would you prefer it if nobody spoke about each other's kids in case of causing offence?

I've seen a lot of threads like this but thinking it is effing bitchy to mention your DD's height is a whole new world of social trauma to me. I'll just avoid mums I don't know well I think!

Going back a few posts, people ALWAYS comment on my height, unless they are overly insulting I don't care, I am used to it. A friend of mine once got insulted on my behalf but it really doesn't bother me. Even if they are rude it just makes me think they are stupid for saying it. So I don't think being an adult will stop people from commenting on such things.

Love your analysis, Morris, spot on!

I had a very brief spell of being tall aged around 14 (before everyone else caught up) and it was amazing how many people felt the need to comment, as if I hadn't bloody noticed already. One neighbour even started calling me 'that tall girl' - he'd known my name for four years but stopped using it!

All of my dc are tall (I am and so is dh so they were never going to be little).

They are always the tallest in amongst their friends. It's always being mentioned.

I just say 'yes, aren't they lucky? I'd hate to be short'. That way I have taken it as a compliment. If it wasn't meant as one it shuts 'em up too cos it doubles as a return 'comment' on shorties.