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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be secretly chuffed that teenage boys shouted MILF at me when I walked

390 replies

LoveMyLapTop · 16/02/2009 17:42

past them?

ANd it was at me there was no one else around!

OP posts:
RiaParkinson · 17/02/2009 20:07

Just to reiterate - not all teenage boys are testorsterone seeping aliens

lots are bloody delightful

whilst a lot of folk on here do not like their attentions please do not tar them all with one rather revolting brush

I have a 'teenage' son and he is a delight - his friends are a pleasure to be with - they are people, not a seething mass defined by their hormones

Bubbaluv · 17/02/2009 20:19

Very true Ria,
I've known my DH since he was a teenager and he (and his mates) would never have yelled anything out at a girl/woman - most of them had sisters so where aware that women were people too.
He was, however, quite surprised to discover just how uncomfortable wolf whistles/yelled "compliments" etc made women feel. He's a real gentleman, but it really hadn't occured to him that it was a nasty thing to encounter.
I did point out that a well timed and sincere compliment was an entirely different matter - hint hint!

I was on my way to work one morning when one of the builders who had been working on a house down the road for months said "morning miss, you are looking particularly stunning this morning". Now that put a jump in my step. (If he'd yelled it for the benefit of his mates, then the same compliment would still have made me feel somehow threatened).

RiaParkinson · 17/02/2009 20:31

Bubbaluv i LOVE couples who got together when teenagers!

Bubbaluv · 17/02/2009 20:55

Actually he thought I was a nutter and I thought he was conceited until we were about 19, so we just make it!
It does mean that we basically raised each other though - it's too late to change them if you get them at 30 - they're like putty in your hand at 19!

independiente · 17/02/2009 20:56

Wow, just caught up with this thread - probably AIBU wasn't the best place to post this one... I don't think all teenage boys are the same (and I'd be gutted if my son yelled 'MILF' to a woman).
RiaParkinson, you say not to 'tar them all with one revolting brush' - does that mean you think it's revolting to yell MILF at a woman? I'm now confused about your take on the OP...

RiaParkinson · 17/02/2009 21:04

I think it is just 'cultural' and i use the term lightly

when i was a teen my friends may have talked about 'fancying' someones mum

milf is just a modern day equivalent

i see some of the boys who i know have said similar about me - a few times a week as they live and work nearby

they are just lovely and bill and coo over my baby and talk to me about school.

it does not make them demons because they say rude things

it does not make me a week willed woman that i am complimented by it. It means I am human and like a compliment

cornsilk · 17/02/2009 21:06

Buublaluv - now that's a compliment! Clearly a better class of builders down your road.

independiente · 17/02/2009 21:12

Ria, sorry can't get my head around this... are you saying that the teenage boys that say to you that you are a 'mother I'd like to fuck' also bill and coo over your baby, and the two things can coexist quite happily for you? I like compliments as much as the next woman, but that is just really odd IMO.

RiaParkinson · 17/02/2009 21:15

is it?

so what about male friends?

me and my friends chat about whose husband has the 'x factor' and then make pleasantries the next time we meet in town

Ripeberry · 17/02/2009 21:18

Sorry, but you are very mixed up. You are saying that you were pleased someone basically shouted out that they wanted to rape you? Are you for real?

RiaParkinson · 17/02/2009 21:19

the boys don't say it to me
they say it in my absence

independiente · 17/02/2009 21:20

Just to make it clear, I can easily see that compliments on being attractive can happily coexist with being a mother (and indeed should!) - it's just that I don't think MILF is really a proper compliment. Probably because talking about 'fucking' someone (when it isn't your beloved partner in the context of a hot night of filthy sex(!)) is a bit crass. But that's just my view.

RiaParkinson · 17/02/2009 21:20

ripeberry ??????? its like bloody chinese whispers on here these days? have you read the thread?

dittany · 17/02/2009 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rhubarb · 17/02/2009 21:20

The Independent had an interesting feature today called 'The University of the Bleedin' Obvious'. Scientists, who no doubt are funded by our money, set out to prove what everybody already knows.

However one of the studies investigated mens' brains and they found that the part of the brain that keeps in check a man's sexual hostility towards women is deactivated when he is shown pictures of women in bikinis. "The findings also support the idea that pornographic images turn women into commodified objects in the minds of men.....it is as if they are reacting to these women as if they are not fully human,"

As I said, the article is called 'The University of the Bleeding Obvious', which kinda figures.

I don't know why men feel the need to shout at strange women in the street - it's not as if we do it to them or it's even done to anyone else. I don't know quite what gives a man the right to feel he can pass sexual comments onto a strange woman, or comment on aspects of her appearance or figure. Again, it's not done to anyone else by anyone else. I also don't know why we should feel flattered by this, why the fact that drooling teenage boys or leering Neanderthal men should make us feel good about ourselves.

I'm sorry LoveMyLapTop, I know you didn't mean this thread to turn into this, but it has. I respect you as a poster, but I still disagree with you on this one.

cornsilk · 17/02/2009 21:22

Ria - would you be happy for your teenage son to shout 'MILF' at a woman in the street?

RiaParkinson · 17/02/2009 21:23

no one is shouting anything

if you read the thread......

DollyMessiter · 17/02/2009 21:25

I hate the misconception that all teenage boys are sexually-aggressive porn-addicted idiots.

independiente · 17/02/2009 21:25

Ok, fair enough they don't say it in your presence. Would you be unhappy if they did say it in your presence?

dittany · 17/02/2009 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cornsilk · 17/02/2009 21:27

My question is would you be happy if your teenage son shouted the comment at a woman in the street. I have read the thread thanks Ria.

RiaParkinson · 17/02/2009 21:29

of course i would!!!

i say loads of gopping things about people that i would not say to their faces

its no different to loads of other sexual 'comments'

just wrapped up in a slightly less frilly language

Shakespeare was the king of bawdy connotation

milf is modern day beast with two backs

OrmIrian · 17/02/2009 21:31

I sort of agree dolly. Most of the boys I know are reasonable human beings. But something seems to happen to them when they are in groups. A sort of were-thing that is quite disconcerting. My 12 yr old with his mates does daft things like walks on frozen ponds or plays footie with tin cans/pine cones. In a few years time I fear that competitive leching may become appealing.

OrmIrian · 17/02/2009 21:33

milf is quite different ria. It is context that changes it. In public, shouted by a group at one person. Bawdy is quite different. IMO it implies some sort of mutuality,

donnie · 17/02/2009 21:34

yes, completely unreasonable.Would you like them to jerk off on your face while they're at it as well?