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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sorry for the 15 year old mum?

122 replies

SweatyArseCrack · 16/02/2009 14:07

I know there is already a thread going about this but I've just been reading a story about all these other boys coming forward saying that they slept with her. One boy is quoted as saying "She kept asking me out but I didn't want to because I thought she was ugly but I did sleep with her" etc etc...

Not only is it now all over the papers that she's had a baby at 15, the entire nation knows that she allegedly slept around, had sex with what looks like an 8 year old and she will probably read at some point that the lads thought she ws ugly but slept with her anyway.

I can't imagine what this must be doing to her. Her confidence was already low to start with but she's nothing more than a freak show now.

The young lad has the baby face which just makes everyone think "awww" whereas she is totally demonised and dragged through the mud. And she's only 15.

OP posts:
myfeethurt · 16/02/2009 21:16

does anyone else suspect that she may have been being abused sexually by someone to have been being so promiscuous with such young lads, all seems a bit weird to me

CharleeheartsherChains · 16/02/2009 21:17

No i don't she has to have been abused to have slept with more than a few boys, teenagers are full of raging hormones, its not uncommon.

dittany · 16/02/2009 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo · 16/02/2009 21:45

Well, I'm not convinced Alfie is the dad....but I can't help feeling sorry for all 3 children involved in this.

I'm totally with dittany.

Lovetingles2 · 16/02/2009 22:01

I feel sorry for all the children involved in this...it's easy to imagine what the girl thought when it was suggested the papers got involved... fame and money.... isn't that what most teenagers want?
She should have been guided/supported better, but it appears none of the parents involved are up to that.

tigerdriver · 16/02/2009 22:20

It's just so sad.

The girl may be bigger than Alfie, if indeed he is the dad, but she is still a child FFS.

I was looking at some photos of me aged 15 recently. this is more than 30 years ago, I am in my school uniform, ready for a debating contest (!), I look about 12. But i was the same height as now, and shoe size, but sadly not the same weight. However I was shagging my BF every minute I could, he was only a bit older than me but very cool etc etc.

there was no abuse or lack of parental attention, just lots and lots of hormones. It is easy to say "bad parenting", but who knows?

I do think the dad in the devil mask's attitude is peculiar though.

I did realise, however, that getting pg would be a bad idea

beanieb · 17/02/2009 10:33

Do those people who think there has been sexual abuse in this case think that every underage teenager who has sex is being abused then?

IMO that's a very dangerous and rediculous assumption to make.

expatinscotland · 17/02/2009 10:41

there was a case a couple of years ago in Edinburgh of a 12-year-old girl who gave birth - she was 11 when she became pregnant.

the father was 14, 15 at the time of the birth, and he was prosecuted.

but when it's the girl, no?

sassy · 17/02/2009 10:44

I think the law is less clear r.e underage boys, expat. It was originally passed into law to protect girls against being forced into prostitution (Victorian law) until 16yo when they were considered fiar game I suppose. So it is possible that the law has not been reviewed/extended to protect boys as well. Wrong of course, but there it is.

pingping · 17/02/2009 11:23

I agree with BeanieB! You can't just throw sexual abuse in the mix as I stated earlier I was sexaully active at the age of 15 and was not sexaully abused.

Rumours and assumptions are stupid at the end of the day she is 15 not 12 and the media only got involved because of the age and look of the Dad they all thought lets make a quick buck and its gone tits up on her. As now other people want to make that quick buck on her.

MorrisZapp · 17/02/2009 12:19

dittany, that's an absolute corker about it being right wing to think that 15 year olds aren't children.

You didn't answer me before but I'll try again.

At what point does a child become an adult? Do you truly believe it is at the stroke of midnight the night before their 16th birthday?

I was 15 when I had consensual and rewarding sex with the partner that I loved. I also held down a part time job and was studying for the exams that would determine my future life chances.

I was young, yes, relatively inexperienced, yes, but I was absolutely not a child.

Sorry but I think it is trolling just to stick your fingers in your ears and go 'la la 15 is a child' when you can't actually justify it or answer anybody who was actually a young woman at 15.

wotulookinat · 17/02/2009 12:22

YANBU. She will surely be disturbed in later years by what has been written.

PeachyHasABrokenKeyboardSorry · 17/02/2009 12:23

yanbu

poor kid, i was very young at 15, exceptionally so perhaps- hopeshe's not the same

Geepers- great post,much humanity

theultimatethreadkiller · 17/02/2009 13:19

yoo hoo

tootyflooty · 17/02/2009 13:33

it's a sad story, but typical of todays society. I don't think any one should be entitled to any benefits until a min age of 21. Not that i think she got pregnant for that reason, but the outcome will be the same. most of the stories you read about like this, when you dig deeper they all come form mal adjusted families. It's history repeating itself in the majotity of cases.

I don't feel particularly sorry for the 2 "children" at some point you have to take responsibility for your actions.

KingCanuteIAm · 17/02/2009 14:07

Morris, I would be tempted to say that at the stroke of midnight on their 18th or even 21st personally. I see you feel you were an adult at 15, well good for you. I think you will find that you are in a minority though unless you are actually still 15. 15yos typically feel they are adults,adults, typicaly, feel 15yos are not adults. I happen to be one of the later. I am sure the mother feels the former.

Having sex and a job does not make you an adult, sorry.

Jampot · 17/02/2009 14:21

If she has allowed this young lad to become embroiled in this circus surrounding her daughter's conception when it is alleged she knows it could be one of a number then I cant feel sorry for her. The only one we know for sure has had sex is her. Alfie looks terrified (and rightly so) He was 12 at the time of conception (whether he was there or not) and she may well be nearly 16. I hope it is one of the other lads who is the father and that he supports the girl and child emotionally and financially. Its all very tragic.

dittany · 17/02/2009 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Laugs · 17/02/2009 15:14

tootyflooty, you don't think anyone should get benefits until they are 21??

So you can get married, have children, pay taxes, serve in the army, but if you happen to become unemployed or incapaciated, you have to move back in with your parents? Or if you'd been in the care system, you would become homeless at 19? Great idea.

MorrisZapp · 17/02/2009 16:53

Er, hello? Grey area, anybody?

Of course a 15 year old isn't an adult. But often, they are not a child. They are a young adult, a teenager, an adolescent, a young woman or whatever.

Nobody grows up overnight and suddenly becomes mature, at any age. It is a process.

When young people feel old enough to have sex and want to do so consensually and responsibly (which wasn't the case here) then it's hard imo just to say 'the law says no', and anyway, what are you going to do?

Lock them up?

I'd be very interested to know how old everybody on here actually was when they first had a snog, a fag, a drink and indeed sex.

I'd be very surprised if the majority waited until the correct legal age, yet there's plenty of high horsing about other people's morals.

Tamarto · 17/02/2009 17:03

"The only one we know for sure has had sex is her. Alfie looks terrified (and rightly so) He was 12 at the time of conception (whether he was there or not) and she may well be nearly 16"

But at the time of conception she would have been nearer 14 if not 14.

Why is everyone going on about him being younger then, but apparently she has not aged?

PeachyHasABrokenKeyboardSorry · 17/02/2009 17:18

I thought she was 14 yes but have mainly avoided reading loads on this

'I'd be very interested to know how old everybody on here actually was when they first had a snog, a fag, a drink and indeed sex. '

17, never, 18, a week before 18th

so yes that does tie in with my belief I was a child at 15; girl guides and a book were about as much as i could handle

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