Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel sorry for the 15 year old mum?

122 replies

SweatyArseCrack · 16/02/2009 14:07

I know there is already a thread going about this but I've just been reading a story about all these other boys coming forward saying that they slept with her. One boy is quoted as saying "She kept asking me out but I didn't want to because I thought she was ugly but I did sleep with her" etc etc...

Not only is it now all over the papers that she's had a baby at 15, the entire nation knows that she allegedly slept around, had sex with what looks like an 8 year old and she will probably read at some point that the lads thought she ws ugly but slept with her anyway.

I can't imagine what this must be doing to her. Her confidence was already low to start with but she's nothing more than a freak show now.

The young lad has the baby face which just makes everyone think "awww" whereas she is totally demonised and dragged through the mud. And she's only 15.

OP posts:
CrushWithEyeliner · 16/02/2009 16:44

Very sad all around. I again say that I feel this family are of very limited intelligence and I only hope SS are acting pretty pronto to secure some kind of future of this innocent little doomed baby

herbietea · 16/02/2009 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LoveMyLapTop · 16/02/2009 16:52

Everything about this situation is sleazy and sordid.
The only person I have sympathy for is the poor baby who has been born into a family of pondlife.

dittany · 16/02/2009 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tessofthedurbervilles · 16/02/2009 16:55

Its a shame and she is having to learn at a stupidly young age that people take advantage...anyone who brushed past her in the street will be trying to cash in on the story.

WinkyWinkola · 16/02/2009 16:58

I'm amazed to read this in one single post:

So first of all she's a child but she obviously isn't because she's hasn't acted like one? And therefore can be blamed.

But then her mother should have stopped her sleeping with various partners because she is a child and therefore isn't responsible and can't be blamed?

Eh? I've never read such utter CRAP in my life, herbietea.

She is a child whether she acts like it or not. She is a child. The father is a child too. So stop getting your knives out for a child, you lot. Because you're showing yourselves up to be part of the freakshow.

MorrisZapp · 16/02/2009 17:01

I had my first sexual experience at 15 and so did many of my friends. What a bizarre world we live in if you are considered worthy of prison for allowing your daughter to do something that she will be legally allowed to do in a few months anyway - or indeed a few days, I don't know exactly how old she is.

The fact she has had numerous partners is irrelevant surely, only one of them can have got her pg.

Loads of young women get pg and we aren't allowed to judge them on here. Why judge a girl who is just one or two years younger than the norm for a young mum.

CoteDAzur · 16/02/2009 17:02

I'm not taking out any knives, but a 15 year old is not a "child" in any definition of the word except perhaps a legal one.

She is a teenager. Not a child and not yet an adult, either.

And teenagers are quite sexual, at least in their heads. (Remember how your heart beat when you thought about that boy in school?) All those hormones buzzing around. Sure, we want to protect them from older predators etc but calling them "children" is taking this to an extreme, far from reality.

MorrisZapp · 16/02/2009 17:06

I agree, 15 is not a 'child' in anything but the legal sense.

I was in love, going steady and having sex when I was 15, and if anybody had tried to stop me I'd have defied them and faced the consequences.

Then suddenly at the stroke of midnight the night before my 16th birthday I'm miraculously old enough to make my own decisions and it's all ok? It's just random numbers.

WinkyWinkola · 16/02/2009 17:07

I was very much still a child at 15. There's a huge difference between physical maturity and mental and emotional maturity. Unfortunately, it's not just physical maturity that makes us adults.

herbietea · 16/02/2009 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

dittany · 16/02/2009 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 16/02/2009 17:07

What LoveMyLapTop said.

I feel sorry for the little baby.

That's about all, though.

mshadowsisfab · 16/02/2009 17:09

yanbu
....but I just can't understand why she would sleep with such a young lad, i mean he doesn't even look 13.

nickytwotimes · 16/02/2009 17:10

15 is a child! Jeezo!

I feel sorry for them all tbh. Horrible, horrible situation.

Sassybeast · 16/02/2009 17:11

MorrisZap - she is lucky if the 'only' thing that she gets is pregnant. I don't suppose anyone has encouraged her to go for a full STD screening ? Or any of the lads she's supposed to have had unprotected sex with.

mshadowsisfab · 16/02/2009 17:12

CoteDAzur I 100% disagree with you. 15 year olds arechildren now way are they adults, the word tee means next to nothing really.
I think when you have a 15 yr old you realise just how young they are.

Rocky12 · 16/02/2009 17:13

Can we not 'judge' a girl with no visible means of support chosing to have a baby? SS said they will give her all the help and support they can (including benefits, parenting classes etc etc). Why???

It is about time we became firm on the subject of teenage pregancies. If you get pregnant under the age of say 18 with no visible support (both fiancial or family) then you will be offered a place in a teenage hostel. You will have your own room but YOU will be responsible for looking after the baby you CHOSE to have. No built in babysitters etc. There will be help and guidance (but no benefits, going to the top of the council house waiting list etc). I dont think there is any excuse in accidently getting pregnant these days.

MorrisZapp · 16/02/2009 17:14

So dittany, in your mind, a girl who is 15 years and 364 days old is a child in every sense, and she then becomes an emotional adult the next day?

Surely in the real world we all grow and mature at different paces, and are able to behave like adults at different times, as opposed to arbitrary cut off points?

I knew my own mind at 15. I went to the Brook and 'got myself sorted out', and proceeded to have sex with the guy I was with until I was 18 years old.

No exploitation, just a normal young relationship. Not really sure what you think my parents or the law should have done about it really.

expatinscotland · 16/02/2009 17:15

Someone please convince me that this softly softly approach is working.

Because it doesn't appear to be.

scarletlilybug · 16/02/2009 17:15

I feel sorry for the girl in so far as she, quite obviously, is the product of bad parenting.

I also think that she is being exploited by her (and the boy's) parents - and is quite possibly too young and/or immature to see this.

I also feel very sorry for the baby and wonder what kind of life she's going to have. Let's just hope the girl can turn out to be a better parent to Maisie than her own parents have been have to her.

dittany · 16/02/2009 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

herbietea · 16/02/2009 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Rocky12 · 16/02/2009 17:21

What is the answer Dittany - more young girls making a decision to have a baby without thinking of the consequences? Happy to think of ideas but our current approach just isnt working.

herbietea · 16/02/2009 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn